Pip Lincolne - Days like these a comforting, practical companion for tired and terrific mums

Introduction

Mums face unique challenges and demands as they navigate the twenty or more years it can take to raise and release a human out into the world. But for some reason, they often get forgotten in the juggle to bring up babies, children, teenagers and young adults. This nonsense must stop! Honestly, how is it that there is not a slew of books encouraging mums to love and look after themselves?

The good news is that if we look after mums and help them to care for themselves then everyone in the family reaps the benefits.

Days Like These is the perfect book-shaped care package to tuck into the hands of your favourite mum. (That could be YOU! Or maybe its a lovely friend or family member?) Its for those sometimes forgotten mums who spend a giant chunk of their lives looking after others. Im talking about the kind who love the people they brought into the world, but also find themselves thinking stuff like, Am I doing this right? and When will I ever get a moment to myself? and Oh my gosh I stuffed up everything today! or Who am I, now that my pre-mum life is a distant memory? or possibly, How did I manage to raise such a tall (and at times sarcastic) young person?

Im in a pretty great spot to be pushing these important looking-after-mum lessons. I have raised three kids of my own, both with a partner and without at various times. My kiddos are all grown up now in their twenties and thirties and are lovely humans, making their own way in the world, so it seemed like a brilliant time to reflect, share and talk through the triumphs and tricky bits of mum life.

Whether youre co-parenting, parenting with a partner or parenting solo, this book has bright ideas on how to make sense of the scramble and find meaning in the mess, no matter which stage of parenting you are deep within. Be that the yes, you really do have to wear pants to child care years or the what do you mean theres another excursion? years or the get off that screen years or even the Id love to talk more about TikTok years.

I have spent the past twenty years parenting my own kids through all of these phases, as well as writing for major parenting media outlets about the ins and outs of various fads and pressures. So make yourself a cup of tea. Grab three biscuits. Lets talk about big and brilliant mum/woman stuff.

CHAPTER 1

LOOKING
OUT FOR
YOURSELF

When you feel like youre
on your own

Putting mum life into perspective

Mum life is the marathon you didnt realise youd signed up to run. What started as a maternal urge or a happy accident becomes reality around nine months later and then it doesnt let up ever!

I have not typed those words to upset you, but rather to give you a nifty framework that really will provide some often much-needed perspective during those lifelong days.

This mum marathon is like all actual marathons a challenge to your physical and mental health. Your head and heart and other human bits take turns to hurt at designated times. Sometimes they hurt all together, which can be especially distressing.

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT:

a) You are not alone and there are millions of others who are quietly running the marathon alongside you.

b) There are lots of ways you can support your health (both physical and emotional) as you move through your days.

The other good news (yes, there is even more!) is that you are going to learn so much about yourself and the world on this marathon, if only you can manage to come to terms with the fact that you are possibly running even more slowly than you would walk.

You dont need me to tell you that the best way to complete a marathon is to be in top shape. Stretchy pants will assist you no end on your mum marathon, but so will self-supporting as well as enlisting the help of others.

A self-supporting strategy

What is self-supporting, I hear you ask? Its a strategy for noticing whats going on with your good self and making your own health and happiness an absolute priority as you navigate parenthood.

This admittedly goes against a lot of what weve been told about being a mother. In fact, the very idea might make you shudder a little. (Wont somebody think of the children? Of course we will. We love them. But this book is about us, not them.)

Weve been told that being a mum is all about sacrifice and weve been encouraged to quietly suck up any pain or struggles we may have and simply push on.

This strategy results in, at the very best, run-down and tired mums and, at worst, mums with an interconnected range of physical and mental health concerns. Its fair to say that there is nothing helpful about those attitudes of old, and its time for us to do a giant reset. While children are very, very important, they are certainly not more important than a mothers wellbeing.

If you are a mum reading this right now and chances are that you are its absolutely vital for you to know that you and your health and happiness are not something to be pushed aside or ignored. Your days are supposed to have good things dotted through them and you are meant to feel as well as possible. Its not all about your kids.