Tori Warner - Challenging The Anxious Brain: A practical guide to overcoming anxiety with tried and tested methods

My first experience with anxiety was when I was twenty-five years old. I was living in London after a year spent traveling the world and I had landed a great new job in sales. I had moved into a beautiful new flat with my boyfriend and I was ready to do fully-fledged adulting. Life should have been good. It should have been a hedonistic time of socializing with friends and enjoying the regular paycheck that I had missed for so long. But, that wasnt to be my reality. I wasnt sure what triggered that first panic attack, but after much searching and trying to figure it out, I now know it was driven by my anxious brain.

In retrospect, I can see the main problem was transitioning, overnight, from living out of a backpack, spending my days sitting on a beach, to a daily tube commute, rent to pay and a job with high sales targets. The shock of going from one world to another resulted in a spectacular panic attack!

I was walking home from work one evening when I suddenly felt my chest tighten, my heart beating so hard I thought it would be visible from the outside. My vision blurred and sounds became deafeningly loud. All I could focus on was getting back to the flat so I could call an ambulance to save me from the heart attack I was obviously having. Even in that moment, I knew rationally that at twenty-five it couldnt possibly be the case that I was having a heart attack but the physical symptoms were so intense, I really did feel like I was dying. Right then and there. My boyfriend called an ambulance and the paramedics, who were wonderful, tried their best to reassure me I was not about to die and what I was feeling was a panic attack. Their advice? Breathe and relax. Oh, how simple they made it sound... And there started my beautiful relationship with anxiety.

I am now forty-five, and Ive not had a panic attack for over fifteen years. Ive worked hard to understand the anatomy and chemical reliance of the brain, and Ive explored how holistic approaches such as meditation, counseling and reiki can soothe the anxious brain. I want to pass on what Ive learned so that it can help you too.

Although Im not a doctor or a neuroscientist, I do have first-hand knowledge of what its like to live with an anxious brain and how to move through periods of anxiety. In some instances, Ive even found ways to be grateful for the anxiety. Bear with me, you might have achieved the same by the end of this book.

For me, anxiety was debilitating and sometimes paralyzing. While anxiety is a frightening experience, I want you to know that it is fixable and not something you have to endure. With understanding, practical advice and commitment to change, you can combat those debilitating feelings and live with personal compassion, anxiety-free.

You may feel you have tried everything to overcome your anxiety and nothing works! I really hope you read this book with an open mind and a willingness to change. Practice the methods without judgment. Read the explanations with curiosity. Look at yourself in a different light and say this will get better. To live without anxiety, you need to approach your mental health with welcoming, compassion, and understanding.

To start, lets try to answer, what the heck is anxiety anyway?

In this chapter, we will explore:

• What anxiety is
• Types of anxiety disorders
• Potential causes of anxiety
• The importance of triggers
• Nature VS Nurture
• Trauma and grief anxiety

During those first anxious periods in my life, I remember feeling terrified. Not just of the panic attacks and the other debilitating symptoms, but also the feeling I was going crazy.

My feelings were so intense, I had a really hard time rationalizing what was happening, and therefore the only conclusion I could come to was that I was going insane. I would sit for hours contemplating every intrusive thought, every muscle twitch, every jitter of my hands, and how they must mean I was losing my mind. This was utterly terrifying and gave even more power and energy to my anxiety.

After my first child was born, my anxiety found a whole new sphere to work its magic in. Not only was I anxious for myself, but I was now also anxious about her and my ability to look after her! Id had no idea of the crushing responsibility I would feel by actually becoming a Mom. I was anxious that my anxiety would stop me from loving her, and looking after her properly. In addition to these worries, having a newborn has a huge impact on our sleeping patterns, so I was torn between desperately wanting to sleep and being too afraid to sleep in case she needed me. My anxiety robbed me of those precious first weeks with my new baby girl. But I also learned a lot during that period. I learned self-compassion, patience, and most helpfully, what was happening biologically in my body.

Understanding what was happening biologically and neurochemically gave me confidence in my ability to control my thoughts, feelings, and, ultimately, my anxiety.

What is anxiety?

Have you ever crossed the road, and some driver almost runs you over because they didnt see the red light? Or perhaps you have sat watching television, and out of nowhere, you hear a loud bang coming from outside your window? In both examples, your heart races, you start to sweat, you begin to shake, you may even feel nauseous, and your thoughts are going a mile a minute. This all happens within a matter of seconds until you realize the danger is over, then you quickly return to normal. Or you dont. This feeling is anxiety. Every person on this planet experiences some level of anxiety. Its what keeps us alive and motivates us to stay away from danger. However, for some of us, these feelings of worry and fear become too extreme and prolonged. They overload our systems and sometimes pop up out of nowhere without any obvious cause. This is when anxiety is no longer a straightforward safety mechanism and is often referred to as Anxiety Disorder.

There are many types of anxiety disorders. Although I am not a physician or medical practitioner myself, I know that if you have felt what I have for more than six weeks, you should definitely see a doctor to get a clinical diagnosis. However, you may already know you have an anxiety disorder, and that is why you are here. Anxiety comes in various forms and is not the same for everyone, but these are some of the more common types of anxiety:

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
• Panic disorder
• Phobias

Agoraphobia

Claustrophobia (Afraid of small spaces)

Arachnophobia (Afraid of spiders)

Acrophobia (Afraid of heights)

• Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)