Lauren McGoodwin - Power Moves: How Women Can Pivot, Reboot, and Build a Career of Purpose

To my younger self, who was a terrible reader

but is now a published author.

Youre capable of more than you know.

To my dad, for being a #girldad and always answering

my call when I have an idea...

To the Career Contessa team, community, and mentors,

who have inspired and impacted my work.

Contents

Lets talk about self-improvement. As a culture, were a bit obsessed with this concept because weve been programmed to believe that discomfort should be avoided, and that any uncomfortable feelings we experience should be mitigated immediately. Im not talking about physical discomfort (by all means, please see the doctor)Im talking about the mental and emotional discomfort we all experience as we age.

Weve learned that upward movement is good and sideways, backward, and any direction in between is bad. These unrealistic expectations feed personal inflexibility because were hardwired to believe that our next best move is always up, and if it doesnt go that way, its time to try a DIY human improvement project because if you can fix that thing that is wrong with you, then the rest will fall into place.

Im not antiself-improvement. Im antiself-improvement approaches where you never really get past improving to evolve and take action based on newfound awareness.

Rather than looking inward and focusing on ourselves, our popular approach to improvement is based on looking ahead and glancing around at others. Its based on doing more of what were already doing and tightly editing the well-laid plan weve already set.

But have you ever noticed that when you reframe your expectations and attitude, and have trust in yourself to take actionespecially when you are uncomfortable and lack directionyou start to see the solution?

These actions ultimately lead to making more progress, experiencing more moments of success on your terms, and enjoying the comforts of higher self-worth. Youre not just improving, youre evolving. Success becomes about the practice that youre developing, not chasing the expectations.

Expectations become the delusional friends who keep your brain on a constant loop at night and make you believe that if youre not getting what you want its because youre not trying hard enough, and this mind-set teaches you to attach your self-worth to unattainable definitions of success.

I totally get it. It was a series of events that challenged my own expectations around my career and led me here to writing this book, which is why expectations are a perfect place for us to start.

Ive been a planner for as long as I can remember. You know the type, right? As a teenager, I craved the start of a new school year so I could plan for my future. In high school I was laser-focused on college applications, and in college I would meticulously plan out each week in my agenda to ensure I never missed an opportunity to advance. After college, however, my perfect plan was all but annihilated.

I graduated from the University of Oregon in 2009 during one of the worst recessions in modern history, with a degree in education, zero job prospects, and one hell of an expectation hangover. I had been the university career centers poster child. I networked like crazy, attended every career fair, and, of course, made a list that would outline my plan for landing a great career. Said great career would get me inside engaging and well-paying work. Before long, Id be on the cover of the alumni magazine.

Yeah, it didnt quite go like that.

Eight months after graduation, after a few temporary jobs and a roommate named Mom, I moved to Los Angeles, hopeful for what a new city might have in store for me. I interviewed at more than fifteen companies for roles ranging from nonprofit development to public relations. I actually misspelled the word experience on my rsum, which a lovely interviewer at a PR agency circled in red for me over and over again. Luckily for both of us, that interview didnt last long.

My final interview during this never-ending tour de jobs was for an administrative assistant role at the dental school of a major university. While I wasnt thrilled about the role, it was 2010, and I was grateful just to have an opportunity to work when it seemed like everyone was desperate for a full-time job. But my confidence, optimism, and aspirations suffered from the experience.

About a year in, I hit my breaking point. My assignment for the day was to feed sheets of paper into the printer, one by one. All day. What was I doing here? What were all my prior hard work and planning really for? I was trapped and unsure of how I would ever escape.

I was in the midst of an ambition trap. My desireand, lets face it, a feeling of entitlementto have something bigger and better for my career had actually led me off course. I had been focused solely on what should happen, or at least what I thought should happen, and accumulating trophies to prove my progress. It felt like the career success train had left the station without me, even though I had a first-class ticket. And it got worse because there were no directions on what to do next.

I admit, Im a millennial through and through. I was raised to believe that women can do it all. I watched my female role models on TV become doctors, lawyers, and businesswomen. I imagined myself partaking in enviable brunches discussing sex and the city with my girlfriends after sprinting through the airport in my stylish pantsuit. I attended college, embraced my independence, and had lofty (but vague) career goals that would make me the successful one at any cocktail party.

For all my ambition, saying yes, and leaning in, my debut into the working world wasnt even in the same zip code as my expectations. And in hindsight, I see that my expectations were largely built on definitions of success written by others and made visually appealing by TV, magazines, movies, and later through Pinterest, Instagram, and even blogs. While my expectations were real, the portrayed success they advertised was not real.

For years while working at the dental school, I studied (okay, obsessed over) the LinkedIn profiles of my peers, discussed potential career paths with my parents, and became infatuated with figuring out my next career move. I was convinced that if I had that answer, if I could just zero in on the exact job and path I wanted, I would quickly be on my way to professional greatness. Of course, thats not how it works.

I cant recall the exact moment, but it gradually became clear that something had to change because all the right ways had led me to feeding paper into a printer. ONE. SHEET. AT. A. TIME. I dropped the poor, pitiful me attitude (it really wasnt my best look), forgave myself for not having it all figured out (or at least pretended to), and decided I had to change my approach. As easy as I make it sound, it wasnt.

In retrospect, this was the decision that helped me move my career and life forward in a new direction, and led me to begin understanding and implementing Power Movesthose unexpected, not-always-conventionally advisable actions and behaviors that make it possible to find fulfilling work you love, on your own terms. Since then, Power Moves have guided me through every difficult stage of my career. Theyve helped me think more holistically about my ambitions, my challenges, and what I really want out of life. Power Moves are not only a unique approach to your career; theyre also the kinds of tailored-to-you decisions you make to ensure youre living authentically and staying true to yourselfnot some idea of what you should be.

Changing my approach to my career started slowly. At work I volunteered for a random assignment that introduced me to the world of professional recruiting, which opened a door I hadnt even known to exist, which eventually helped me pivot to a job in recruitment at Hulu, just a budding tech start-up in those days, and the first job I had where my values and skills aligned with the company and role.