Jennifer Trainer Thompson - The Joy of Family Traditions: A Season-by-Season Companion to Celebrations, Holidays, and Special Occasions

Copyright 2008 by Jennifer Trainer Thompson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except brief excerpts for the purpose of review, without the written permission of the publisher.

Celestial Arts
an imprint of Ten Speed Press
PO Box 7123
Berkeley, California 94707
www.tenspeed.com

Distributed in Australia by Simon and Schuster Australia, in Canada by Ten Speed Press Canada, in New Zealand by Southern Publishers Group, in South Africa by Real Books, and in the United Kingdom and Europe by Publishers Group UK.

Speaking of Greenberg 1934 by Edgar A. Guest.
Printed with permission by Steve Greenberg.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Thompson, Jennifer Trainer.
The joy of family traditions : a season-by-season companion to celebrations, holidays, and special occasions/Jennifer Trainer Thompson.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
eISBN: 978-0-307-78884-9
1. Holidays. 2. Fasts and feasts. 3. Family. 4. Manners and customs. I. Title.
GT3930.T477 2008
394.269dc22

2007041142

v3.1

This book is dedicated to my mother,
Elinor Burnett Trainer, who never baked
a brownie, forgot my nineteenth birthday,
and stapled my Girl Scout badges onto
my sash because she refused to learn how
to sew, yet was deeply committed to her
big brood of a family and our heritage,
closeness, and future.

Traditions are communal, and I am grateful to the many friends and family members who gave me traditions, ideas, and support during the course of writing this book, including Cathy Dow, Concepcion Montalvo, Jose Sanchez, Alison Kolesar, Jonquil Wolfson, Audrey Werner, Alison Benjamin, Steve Swoap, Victoria Rock, Richard and Jeanne Besser, Joyce Bernstein, Eric Widing, Bobbie Crosby, Morty and Mimi Schapiro, Judy and Jenny Raab, Andrea Fox Jensen, Jack Wadsworth, Melissa Greene, Magnus Bernhardsson, Irving Tanzman, Judy Cummings, Jeffrey Burnett, Stephanie Mouse, Laurie Werner, Paulette Wein, Jennifer Ma, Judy Huber, Reverend Carrie Bail, Robin Brickman, Carole Schultze, Everton Sylvester, Julie Applegate, Darra Goldstein, Hans Morris, Steve Greenberg, Deborah Rothschild, Cristin Marandino, Shelley Jurs, Molly Polk, Lincoln Russell, Holly Mines, Diane Cooper, Deborah Coombs, Richard Criddle, Jody Fijal, Kathi Duble, Kaarin Lemstrom-Sheedy, Merritt and Mary Sue Colaizzi, Barry Olsen, Becky Acquaye, Sue Hamilton, Peter Bruun, Katherine Myers, Erik Bruun, Deborah Rothschild, Laura Heon, Dick and Sandy Bisson and the Bisson clan, Gary Flynn, Linda Becker, Linda White, Reverend Peter and Diana Elvin, Chris Howard, Geoff Strawbridge, Richard and Mary Beth Kerns, Darlie Kerns, Elizabeth Kerns, Stephanie Francis, JoAnn Noyes, Melissa Matuscak, Don and Andy Ovans, Jonathan Secor, Jude and Dick Sabot, Mary Saloschin Hubbard, Janette and Will Dudley, Julie Solomon, Alex Fox Coakley, Diana Walczak, David and Jeannie Aplin, Nancy Duble, Cecilia Vogtand, and Hanne Guri Belgau.

To the Ten Speed crew, for their longstanding support and good humor, especially my editor Veronica Randall, who was so patient while I took the time to live and enjoy these traditions, and Katy Brown, who did a beautiful job of designing this book. To Dennis Hayes, Lorena Jones, Jo Ann Deck, and Phil Wood, dear Phil: you are more than one could possibly hope for in a publisher.

To Eric Kerns, who helped enormously with the research, writing, and shaping of the manuscript while adding a vital male perspective. Eric shares my feelings about the profound role traditions play in family life as he and his wife Molly raise their girls Darlie and Zoe, but he also sees life through a humorous lens and is slightly irreverent about anything overly sentimental. My heartfelt thanks to Eric for all his help.

To my familiesTrainers, Thompsons, Burnetts, Harveys, and Dubleswho have always shown me know how much family matters.

To my cousins (especially Doug and Lee), who continue the traditions begun at 1 Everett Street, the Cottage, and Camp, and who, as our children grow, do what comes naturally: staying close.

To my three sistersSarah Purcell, Jeannie Aplin, and Sue Hamelas well as my dear friend Janette Dudley, who keep me entwined in the sisterhood and are so much fun to experience motherhood with.

To Mary Jane and Jim and the rest of the Thompson clan, who welcomed me into the family with a cow pie and love and who dish up family gatherings with humor and deep affection.

To my dear father, who made me a Swamp Yankee and is one of the brightest stars in my sky. And to Peg, who keeps him shining.

Lastly, to my beloved husband JoeBig Joe Daddy-O!and to our children, Trainer and Isabel. You give these traditions value and have taught me so much. I couldnt have done it without you, nor would I want to.

This book was written because it was a book I wanted to read.

Though Ive always been inclined towards perpetuating traditionsorganizing family parties and marching with my cousins and kids in the same small-town Fourth of July parade that my mother marched in as a childit wasnt until our son Trainer was born in 1998 that I began thinking consciously about the importance of traditions in our lives. Soon I was asking friends and acquaintances about their traditions as well, and I was startled by the responses.

Almost universally, people first professed to have no traditions. Then several days later theyd contact me and reminisce about the private rituals their family indulged inbe it celebrating a milestone birthday or clipping the first rhododendron blossom or putting a baby in the family clock (really). There were some doozies as well as some terrific ideas that I wanted to try out on my family. I started jotting down the ideas I liked in a notebook, in an attempt to remember them in the haze of early motherhood and to incorporate them into our lives. After a while, I realized I had a book.

And then came Isabel.

I had been gathering book notes and interviewing people as Trainer explored his way through preschool, trying out new ideas on him and my husband Joe as well as dusting off ones I remembered fondly from my own childhood. In October, wed go apple picking in the orchards up the road in Vermont. In December, Id embroider the date and some scene relevant to that year on Trainers Christmas stocking. At the beach, wed collect sand dollars, decorate them with glitter, and give them away as tree ornaments to family and friends. And then, when Trainer was four, we got a call that a baby had been borna Christmas baby!and soon the three of us were flying to Guatemala to pick up the newest member of our family. Isabel was in our arms by March 27.