Mark Matlock - Real World Parents: Christian Parenting for Families Living in the Real World

I have a vivid memory of being a teenager and sitting at the dinner table with my family, rolling my eyes and pretending to gag behind my dads back.

Why?

He was trying to do family devotions with us. But my three younger brothers and I just werent buying it.

Every four or five months my dad would hear some program on Christian radio about family devotions, and hed come home with another new idea for making it work with our family. After all, thats what Christian families are supposed to do, right? But it just never worked in our house. It felt completely forced and unnatural.

Still, somehow all four of us Matlock boys ended up in ministry. My youngest brother, Jonathan, helped me start WisdomWorks Ministries, and now we both do pretty much the same kind of youth ministry and youth minister support through Youth Specialties. Our brother Josh is a senior pastor in Southern California, and our brother Jeremy is a missionary in Russia. And still to this day, whenever Dad tries to bring us together for family devotions during the holidays, we mock him a little. Its become a kind of tradition because it isnt genuine for who we are as a family.

Now, Im not saying that having kids who serve in some area of ministry means youre a successful parent. The point Im making is that all four of my dads sons grew into men with a real passion and appreciation for Gods Wordeven though he couldnt get us to sit still and take the reading of the Word seriously during repeated failed attempts at family devotions.

Why? Because we knew he had a real passion and appreciation for Gods Word. We saw Dad reading the Bible. We saw him struggle to apply it to his life. We saw both of our parents base their decisions on their understanding of what the Bible teaches.

Ultimately we were convinced of the worldview contained in the pages of Scripture because we saw our parents openly endorsing it, talking about it, learning from it, and living it out day after day, year after year. That was enough for usdespite the failed attempts at family devotions.

Thats what this book is about. Were not interested in presenting more artificial techniques and methodology to fix our kids or do what Christian families are supposed to do. Rather we want to help you discover how to live for God in a real way, right in front of your kids, so they cant help but catch the big picture that God and his Word mean the world to us and that living for Jesus really works in the Real World.

Dont get me wrong. Not all families are built to the same specifications. We each have our own family DNA. So if family devotions fit who you are, more power to you! Organized, structured, traditional family devotions are a great tool for some families. Now that my wife, Jade, and I have two kids of our ownour son Dax is in middle school, and our daughter Skye is 10weve tried to have a family Bible hour around the table. It kind of worked off and on when the kids were younger, but we eventually realized it wasnt a good fit for the natural rhythm of our lives. Its not who we are right now. So instead weve found ways to talk about Gods Word that are a better fit for us.

As we work together through the concepts in this book, one thing well discover is that Real World Parents are real in the sense that they do what best fits their families, and they genuinely adjust their own lives to fit into Gods story.

In the church today, theres some really good teaching on parenting. My wife and I have benefited from writers, conference speakers, and pastors whove opened Gods Word and helped us connect with what it means to raise up our children in the way they should go, how to provide godly discipline, and ideas for reinforcing good behavior. But again, thats not what this book is about.

And, honestly, over the years Ive been frustrated with some teaching on parenting thats built around making parents feel guilty. These teachers, authors, books, and programs build parenting models based on our common fear that were going to mess up our kidsor that weve already messed up our kids. Thats an easy road that plays on our fears and our guilt over the areas in which we struggle as parents. Then they suggest that their programs or perspectives are our final hope to get it right or, worse, to do it the only way God wants it done.

Thats not what this book is about, either. I promise not to use your parenting fears and anxieties against you. And we all have those feelings. I know I have them. If you could spend a little time with my family, youd quickly see that we have issues, too. Those prone to critiquing parents would have no trouble criticizing my wife and me. So, no, Im not interested in beating up other parents in order to somehow make them feel better or more motivated in their parenting.

In fact, Id like to communicate exactly the opposite.

In our Real World Parent seminars, held around the United States, our teachers use a self-diagnostic tool to help attendees identify what they believe God thinks of their families.

It goes something like this:

What do you think God sees when he looks at your family? Do you think God grins or grimaces? (Place an X on the line.)

GOD GRINS----------------------------------------------GOD GRIMACES