Karen Kingsbury - A Time to Dance/A Time to Embrace

The Women of Faith Fiction Club presents

A Time to Dance

A Time to Embrace

KAREN KINGSBURY

IT WAS FRIDAY NIGHT, HOURS BEFORE THE FAMILY meeting, and Abby was exhausted beyond belief. Despite a series of joint sessions with their counselors, she and John had refused to come to any sort of last-minute agreement. Instead, theyd met at a restaurant outside of town and talked through the details, finally settling on a scenario that would work well enough for the future.

Abby would stay in the house; John would find a place of his own. The kids were old enough that custody wouldnt be an issue. Sean would stay with Abby during the week and with John on weekends or holidayswhenever he liked, really. Otherwise life would go on pretty much the same. Kade would move to a dorm at the University of Iowa sometime that summer, and Nicole would continue living at home while she took classes at Southern Illinois University.

Abbys tiredness was understandable. For years she and John had been merely going through the motions, pretending to be happily married, but these last few weeks Abby had been repulsed by their charade. Shed found herself wanting to scream at John, the kids, anyone who would listen that she was sick of her life being little more than an act. The children had been caught up in their Christmas excitement, what with Seans new skis and Kades specially made class ring, complete with the insignia declaring him state football champion. Nicole was wrapped up in her life, working through the tougher classes that came along with being a junior and spending nearly all her free time with Matt.

As John had predicted, the excitement of a state title was still very much the buzz of family conversation. He continued to field weekly calls from reporters and other coaches wanting to congratulate him and compare plays, hoping perhaps that some of Coach Reynoldss success might rub off or spark an idea that would play out in their own lives. People seemed to think John had the answer for everything, everyone.

Everyone but her.

Abby exhaled slowly and pulled an old flannel nightie from her dresser drawer. She and John still shared a living space, but not a bed. Not for months now. She would dress in the bathroom, brush her teeth, and when she was sure the kids were asleep or too busy to notice, shed sneak down the hall to the guest room. Shed always been the first one up in the morning, so none of them had ever caught on.

It was early and John was at a league meeting that would last until after ten oclock. Just as well. Ill be asleep before he gets back.

A bitter wind howled outside as she slipped out of her clothes, donned the nightgown, and realized her feet were cold. One of thesedays Ill have to buy my own socks. But for now, this one last night anyway, she could use his. They were bigger and thicker and kept her feet warm even on the coldest nights.

After they told the kids about the divorce, John was going to talk to one of his coaching buddies about staying at his house for a while, until the whole thing was final and he could find a place of his own. Either way, he planned to be out of the house within a week. Abby slid the drawer open and dug her hands inside, looking for the thickest pair of socks she could find. Instead, her fingers felt a folded piece of paper. She pulled it out, staring at it. Hadnt she just cleaned the drawers a few weeks ago?

Her heart began pounding in her chest, shouting at her to drop the wrinkled note and avoid the message inside. She ignored the warning. Perching on the edge of her bed, Abby unfolded the piece of paper, which bore handwriting thatthough not her own clearly belonged to a woman. She began to read.

John, thanks for talking with me the other night. I dont know whatId do without you. I mean it. Youre the best friend a girl could ever have. Abby doesnt know what shes losing. Anyway, Ill meet you early Fridaylike usual. Cant wait to see you. Love, Charlene.

Abby stared at the note as angry feelings galloped about in her gut. Unable to stop herself, she read it a second timethen she ripped it in half and in half again, and again and again until she could no longer recognize any of the womans words.

She couldnt decide whether to race for the bathroom or punch a hole in the wall. In the end she did neither, only stayed there on the edge of the bed, imprisoned by the hurt in her heart. How could you, John? Cantyou wait until after the divorce? Isnt what we shared worth at least that?

Abby could hear her husbands voice, indignant and defensive whenever shed brought up Charlenes name: Shes just a friend... just a friend...

She huffed as her eyes scanned the shreds of paper. Just a friend... what a joke. Booster club members had reported to Abby several times that theyd seen John and Charlene together in his classroom. And at least once a person had walked in and found the two locked in an embrace. She was having a hard day... shes all alone... shesjust a friend. The excuses were endless.

Fine. John could be all the friend to Charlene he wanted after tomorrow. As long as he moved out and stopped the terrible lie hed been living these past few months.

She scrunched the pieces up and moved into the bathroom, dropping them in the toilet and flushing them. On the way out she caught her reflection in the mirror. Was she not pretty enough? Had she gained weight in the past few years?

Abby studied herself and knew it wasnt a weight problem. She wore the same size-seven jeans shed always worn, and at five-foot-eight she was thinner than most women half her age. She walked the treadmill early each morning and was careful about what she ate.

It has to be my age.

She scrutinized her skin and saw the visible pores and fine wrinkles that hadnt been there ten years ago. How old was Charlene, anyway? Thirty-two, thirty-three? Abby anchored her fingertips along her hairline and lifted up, watching as her face took on a look she was more familiar with, the look shed had as a teenager and young woman.

Was that what their love had come to? After surviving so much, celebrating so much, after raising a family together... had it really come to this? To losing her husband because the skin on her face showed wear?

I gave you those years, John...

She took a step back and studied herself again. Her hair was a mass of short stylish layers that still turned mens heads. Old men, maybe, but men all the same. And with a little help from the salon, her hair was still blonde. Abby angled her face this way and that, trying to see herself the way John saw her. Okay, so shed just turned forty-one, so what? Charlene would turn forty-one someday, too. That couldnt be the reason things hadnt worked between them.

Abby frowned. She was being ridiculous. Their breakup had nothing to do with looks. It was because their marriage had become an old sock years ago, threadbare in all the important places and too worn out and stained to bother saving.

She turned away from her reflection and padded through the bedroom door, down the hall to the guest room. Without turning on the light, she shut the door and climbed into bed.

She was fast asleep in a matter of minutes.

An autumn wind blew through the trees knocking leaves of every shade and color onto the walkway that surrounded an oversized stadium. Abby was inside yelling, Go, Blue! Come on, John, you cando it! He waved at her from the huddle, an impressive six-foot-four quarterback with dark hair and aqua blue eyesby far the best-looking player on the field.