McKenna Sweazey - How to Win Friends and Manage Remotely

This edition first published in 2022 by Career Press, an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

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Copyright 2022 by McKenna Sweazey

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

ISBN: 978-1-63265-202-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request.

Cover design by Howard Grossman

Interior by Happenstance Type-O-Rama

Typeset in Nobel and Warnock Pro

Printed in the United States of America

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To my husband, for always believing in me.
To my girls, for the joy (and chaos) they
brought to the process.

EVEN BEFORE THE PANDEMIC, working across global offices required a different level of finesse than working with people you see every day. With work from home (WFH) becoming a new norm, we've added another layer to the difficulties of being an empathetic person in the office. How do we make the best of the situation we have in front of us: pixelated versions of the other human beings we rely on to get our jobs done?

I started writing this book as the novel coronavirus began. As curtains closed across corporate offices and employees from diverse fields were forced onto tools like Zoom and Slackin some cases, for the first timework from home became an overnight revolution.

Yet the need for a handbook to manage in the virtual workplace was long overdue. While the pandemic changed everything about office life, turning our living rooms into our backdrops via portals like Zoom, we were already living in a highly connected, always-on, virtual world. Most organizations had either adopted a global or virtual setup or had it on their agenda to do so. Employees increasingly requested it, so the pressure mounted on managers to learn how to make it work.

But doubts and questions surfacedthen and now. The best managers ask(ed) themselves:

• How do I make my team excited about working together if we can't ever see each other face to face?
• How do I increase engagement, retain my top talent, and coach others with no line of sight?
• How can I help those who are not aligned with the mission of the team when I can't meet behind closed doors or interact in person?

Since the WFH dynamic is here to stay, there is an urgent need for solutions to the problem of how to make it work for the long termnot as a Band-Aid until things change.

The mass switch to work from home for many white-collar workers around the globe comes with consequences. It effectively dehumanizes the people we spend most of our days with, turning them into two-dimensional people on the other side of the computer screen. Spontaneous interactions have been decimated, planned interactions have become drudgery, and everyone is searching for solutions to bring back the success from humans forming teams and working together. Our usual means of getting connection and intimacy at work may never return.

This situation may sound rather depressing, but that's not at all where I want to leave you. There is tremendous opportunity in and even an upside to this virtual worldwhere employees can better balance their work-life, the planet can be relieved of our commutes, and our talent pool can suddenly expand. But how can we communicate when the way we pick up on body language, word choice, and facial expressions has changed?

We have tools at our disposal to make virtual management the new normand a successful one at that. But doing so requires a fundamental understanding of one foundational element: empathy. In a work-from-home setting, empathy doesn't change at its core, but how we demonstrate it requires some special attention.

The information in this book is meant to help you cultivate digital empathy to effectively communicate, motivate your team, and influence others. In general, people focus on how the world affects them, not on how they affect the world. If even just some of the time you can turn the tables, it's an immensely powerful tool.

Given the cultural constraints that are still breaking down today, empathy shows the imperative of a different aspect of managementwhich has uses beyond the work-from-home setup. The macho culture we know so well, portrayed in the business press and across pop culture, focuses on results, not people. Many of the greatest management books that I hold in high esteem can come across as harsh or opaque in terms of feelings. That rhetoric or bias isn't relevant in the 21st century. The workforce is diversifying, capturing more talent from groups and mindsets that have been left out. This is the time to harness techniques that might be perceived as more feminineempathy chief among them. While studies show that women tend to naturally be better at empathy, both men and women respond to training equally. Not to mention, to harness and promote diversity, it is critical to think about the perspectives of others who have been shaped by different experiences.

I'd rate myself as an empathetic person, verging on overly empathetic. I tend to focus on what others think about any one situation. I hope to take what comes naturally to memy ability to put myself in another person's shoes and use that perspective to further my own goals, as well as theirsto help you, the reader, find ways to achieve more in your work life using empathy.

In addition to my own empathy-driven insights, I share various examples I've seen in my global career. I've worked with remote teams for yearsincluding for start-ups and esteemed organizations like Financial Timesas well as collaborated over videoconference, Slack, and WhatsApp.

In my time as a manager and as someone being managed, I've seen many scenarios where I thought putting aside one's own bias, even a small bit, and taking the perspective of the other person would have led to swifter resolutions, happier participants, and ultimately, more business value. Hopefully, the situations I lay out in this book can help people who don't naturally gravitate to that way of thinking learn to stop, check themselves, and explore other perspectives as an exercise in driving the greater good.

The goal of this book is to teach you to harness your digital empathy and learn skills to be a better boss, employee, colleague, and peer in a virtual or hybrid office. The real how of getting things done in an organization comes down to the people. And the best people at making things happen are the best at harnessing their empathy to connect and drive action.

Read on to discover how to refocus on what matters most, as you manage in a virtual-first world.