Stephan M Mardyks - Quantum Negotiation: The Art of Getting What You Need

1. Chapter 1
2. Part II
3. Chapter 5

Karen S. Walch | Stephan M. Mardyks | Joerg Schmitz

Copyright 2018 by WILEY. All rights reserved

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada

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We would like to thank our spouses, Paul, MarieGenet, and Latha, and our families for their support, patience, and enthusiasm for this project.

Our sincere gratitude goes to our dedicated team who played an instrumental role in guiding this book to publication:

• David M. R. Covey, for his invaluable contributions to Quantum Negotiation and ongoing support
• Christina Schmitz, David Westley Covey, Jacob Covey, Liz Gotter, and Scott Henderson, who were instrumental in helping us organize our thoughts
• The team at Wiley for their ongoing support and for patiently guiding this book to publication
• All our Quantum Negotiation partners and colleagues across the world

We also would like to thank our clients worldwide and the many negotiators we have met along the way who have told us their stories and placed their trust and confidence in us.

Finally, we dedicate this book to all the leaders, managers, entrepreneurs, professionals, and negotiation experts who are on a journey of true value creation.

We wish you the success you truly deserve.

Karen S. Walch, PhD, is a partner at ClairBuoyant Leadership, LLC, and co-creator of the Quantum Negotiation Certification programs. She is an Emeritus faculty member of Thunderbird School of Global Management. Karen specializes in the social interaction skills of negotiation, collaboration, influence, and inclusion. Her facilitation and coaching are focused on developing leadership behaviors for maximum personal and organizational impact in a dynamic and disruptive global economy.

Stephan M. Mardyks is a worldrenowned expert in the field of global learning and development. He has conducted countless strategic negotiations in over one hundred countries. Stephan is the founder of Wisdom Destinations, the coCEO of SMCOV, and cofounder of TrapTales and Streamline Certified. He is also managing partner at Lead in English and ThomasLeland. His past experiences include serving as CoCOO at FranklinCovey. Stephan is the coauthor of Trap Tales, Leading in English, and Said & Done.

Joerg Schmitz is cofounder and managing partner at ThomasLeland. He is a business anthropologist with extensive experience helping leaders and organizations navigate the challenges and opportunities of culture and globalization. As a senior advisor and consultant, he has developed innovative approaches to intercultural management, diversity and inclusiveness, global talent and team optimization, and leadership development. Joerg is the coauthor of Leading in English.

For more information about Quantum Negotiation, please visit the website at www.quantumnegotiation.com

More than thirty years ago David Lax and James Sebenius coined the term the negotiator's dilemma in their classic book, The Manager as Negotiator. It's the socalled tension between creating value (expanding the proverbial pie) and claiming it (capturing a favorable slice of it).

The tension derives from two opposing impulses. Value creation requires recognition of the parties' respective interests. If they bluff and bluster in order to mask their true priorities, they'll be unable to see how to generate mutual gains by trading creatively on their differing priorities. On the other hand, if one negotiator unilaterally reveals his or her interests while the other does not, the former risks being exploited. The pie may be expanded, but the sly party will get the lion's share.

The creatingclaiming tension (cooperating and competing, if you prefer) isn't merely about outcomes, though. It is more fundamentally about values, identity, and relationshipsspecifically, selfregard versus concern for others. Two thousand years ago Hillel posed two questions that are inherent in negotiations today. If I am not for myself, Hillel asked, then who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I?

Identifying dilemmas, be they substantive or moral, is one thing. Managing them effectively is quite another. Most negotiation books skirt this territory. Yes, some writers address the ethics of specific tactics (such as lying), though typically without exploring foundational principles, attitudes, and beliefs. Now at last, the arrival of