Bowe Packer - Compulsive Hoarding: Understanding & Treating Compulsive Hoarding

Compulsive Hoarding

Understanding & Treating Compulsive Hoarding

Bowe Packer

Publishers Notes

Disclaimer

This publication is intended to provide helpful and informative material. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any health problem or condition, nor is intended to replace the advice of a physician.

No action should be taken solely on the contents of this book. Always consult your physician or qualified health-care professional on any matters regarding your health and before adopting any suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it.

The author and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, from the use or application of any contents of this book.

Any and all product names referenced within this book are the trademarks of their respective owners. None of these owners have sponsored, authorized, endorsed, or approved this book.

Always read all information provided by the manufacturers product labels before using their products. The author and publisher are not responsible for claims made by manufacturers.

Kindle Edition 2014

Manufactured in the United States of America

Dedication

I dedicate this book to all those people out there who remind us of the things we have forgotten about ourselves.

And this holds especially true of my beautiful and amazing wife, Alma. She is the one woman who has the most amazing talent to let me grow and love the things about myself that I have not fully accepted.

I cherish the love she has for me when I may not know how to love myself.

May we all have this kind of beautiful soul in our life.

Sent from LOVE,

Sunshine In My Soul

Chapter 11-Beliefs of Hoarders

Now hoarders are each very different. Just like an average person, they each have their own beliefs and ideas but in general, they seem to share these common beliefs.

1. Physical belongings are as important as real people and should be treated as such.

1. Throwing away anything is traumatic, like cutting off your arm. Its extremely terrifying and its better to simply continue accumulating clutter than to try and contemplate the issue at all.

1. The more physical possession you have the safer you are.

1. If an item is stored out of sight it might as well be completely gone. The hoarder will think of where items are based on the chaos in their home rather than the room of the house it should be in (couch in the living room, toilet paper in the bathroom, etc.).

When you forget something it probably annoys you. Little things annoy you less than when you forget something youve known for a long time and something youve always known will annoy you a lot if you forget it even for a moment. Well for a hoarder this is a little different because a hoarder does not want to forget anything at all.

If a hoarder reads something then they want to remember all of it. If they dont remember all of it then they feel like theyve failed in some way. So they feel the compulsion to keep the article so they can be sure to have all the information when they need it (and they are certain they will need it). As a result they continue to compile more and more articles and magazines or books because someday they will need that information and since they cant remember all of it, they have to keep the actual article.

1. For the average person if you purchase something you want to take care of it until its served its purpose and then its okay to get rid of it. For a hoarder its important to care for all of their belongings forever. This means you never get rid of anything. If a new pair of earrings came in a box then they must be kept in that box forever. That box cant be gotten rid of and the earrings cant either. If the earrings lose a stone then that stone has to be kept forever as well.

1. If you get rid of a hoarders belongings they will become irate and angry with you. No matter what item it is that you throw out you could even lose your friendship with that person because you are not allowed to touch any of their belongings.

1. There is a level of perfectionism to the hoarding process as well. In order to throw out anything the hoarder must first know, absolutely, 100% know that the item has no further use and will never have a use. If they are giving away an item that does have a use they must know that it will have a better purpose wherever it is going. The item will also have to be perfect before it can be given away which means it will have to be fixed if broken and cleaned if dirty.

Chapter 14-Tasks for Helping

In order to help the hoarder overcome the hoarding behavior you will need to focus on three separate tasks. These are:

1. Letting go of the past

The hoarder must be able to let go of their belongings but those who are helping the hoarder must be able to let go as well. Why is it that you want to help this person get rid of their belongings? Were you embarrassed by their collection? Did you miss out on normal activities because of this hoarding? Many children want to help their parents get rid of their hoarding but feel neglected or bitter that they could never have a birthday party because of it or that they could never have a normal childhood.

If you feel hurt by the hoarder then you need to let go of those things before you can hope to help them. If you dont let those things go you will actually be setting yourself up worse and you will be no help to the individual who needs you the most. You will also need to forget about what you think the other individual needs and focus instead on what they believe that they need. Try to find a balance rather than forcing your own thoughts and opinions on the hoarder.

1. Learning to understand

You dont know that the individual is going through. You dont know what its like for them to live in that home or get rid of their belongings. If you dont know then you could be setting yourself up for failure. You want to make sure you are thinking about the individual you are helping and not focusing on what you want or what you think they should have.

1. Be willing to forgive

If you arent ready to ask the hoarder for forgiveness then you arent ready to assist them. They will need that level of understanding and you will need their forgiveness before you will be of any type of help to them. Thats because you need to fully listen to them in order to help them overcome and if you dont forgive them for past wrongs then you simply wont be able to listen to them the way they need you to do so.

Chapter 17-The Checklist

Use this to help you discover what needs to be done first and what can be pushed back a little ways and dealt with later. You can print out this checklist for use throughout the course of your first run-through of the house. This can then be referenced as you finish different areas so you know what should be done and when it should be taken care of as well. For example areas with visible fire hazards should be taken care of before anything else and areas with excrement or urine should be pretty high up on the list as well. You dont want to leave these things lying around after all.