Anni K. Reinking - Difficult Conversations: A Toolkit for Educators in Handling Real-Life Situations

Difficult Conversations

Difficult Conversations

A Toolkit for Educators in Handling Real-Life Situations

Anni K. Reinking

Rowman & Littlefield

Lanham Boulder New York London

Published by Rowman & Littlefield

An imprint of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.

4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706

www.rowman.com

6 Tinworth Street, London SE11 5AL, United Kingdom

Copyright 2019 by Anni Reinking

All rights reserved . No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Reinking, Anni K., 1985- author.

Title: Difficult conversations : a toolkit for educators in handling real-life situations / Anni K. Reinking.

Description: Lanham, Maryland : Rowman & Littlefield, [2019] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019001604 (print) | LCCN 2019011917 (ebook) | ISBN 9781475845860 (electronic) | ISBN 9781475845846 (cloth : alk. paper) | ISBN 9781475845853 (pbk. : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Communication in education. | TeachersProfessional relationships. | School administratorsProfessional relationships. | Teacher-student relationships. | Teacher-administrator relationships.

Classification: LCC LB1033.5 (ebook ) | LCC LB1033.5 .R465 2019 (print) | DDC 371.102/2dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019001604

The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.

Printed in the United States of America

Preface

This book was designed to be used as a resource. As the author I also recognize that this is a living toolkit that will change over time. However, this is a great starting point for your toolkit as an educator. Why is this topic, a topic about communication, important in the field of education? Many other professions have multiple resources discussing effective communication, more specifically difficult conversations. However, the field of education has close to none. Therefore, this resource should be used as a professional development tool to reflect on and improve professional practice.

In this book there are also real-life scenarios. While there are no questions associated with each scenario, the goal is to personally or collectively reflect on the scenario. Every scenario is not perfect, but these scenarios are intended to bring life into the strategies.

Chapter 1

Communication

Greg Satell (2015) defends the idea that communication is todays most important skill. In summary, he states that communication is needed in every profession, it is bidirectional, and it goes hand in hand with knowledge.

Communication is key to any relationship. It is especially important to relationships within the field of education. Why? Because communication between and among stakeholders in the life of a student can build or destroy the foundational relationships needed for impactful and transformational educational experiences. Communicationlanguageis powerful.

But who are the stakeholders? The stakeholders include anyone who interacts with students. Therefore, transformational relationships include family to teacher, teacher to student, teacher to teacher, teacher to supervisor, student to student, and more combinations of those groups. Communication between these stakeholders can be verbal and/or nonverbal; tone and/or body language; words and/or actions. However, regardless of the communication, positive, respectful, and trusting relationships need to be built in order to engage students in the learning process of social interactions and cooperation now and in the future. Overall, trust is the glue for communication and collaboration.

In this chapter, we will develop a common understanding for the overview of what communication is, why communication is so important, and communication strategies or the how of communication. Overall, this chapter will build the foundation for the rest of the book. As you read this chapter and the following chapters, keep an open mind and be willing to reflect on the ideas and strategies introduced to impact your profession as an educator, ultimately impacting the lives of students, the future of our nation.

Why is it so important for educators to develop these skills? Other professional fields, including business, medicine, leadership, and beyond, provide multiple resources and experiences for key communication strategies. However, in the field of education, focused depictions and toolkits are few and far between. Therefore, as a place to start our education communication conversation we will use other professions to build our own toolkit for experiences and interactions in the field of education.

What Is Communication?

Communication starts in infancy. From the moment an infant is touched for the first time, to when the infant is held, to the way the family or caregivers feed, make eye contact, and interact with that infantall of this communicates a message to the infant. All these interactions start the trajectory of verbal and nonverbal development of a child, the childs communication process.

Once babies reach a certain age they begin to communicate, which eventually turns into speaking and other forms of communication. Speech communication, along with other forms of it, are learned through observations, interactions, and experimentation. Every message that is conveyed or received requires effort, persistence, reflection, and at times, self-correction. Learning how to speak, learning how to write, and learning about body language to communicate is all part of the process that concludes in the accumulation of communication skills.

In the first few pages of this book, the word communication has been referenced several times but could mean different things to different readers. Therefore, to build a common understanding of what communication means, a few definitions will be provided.

The dictionary defines it as the imparting or exchanging of information or news and means of connection between people or places. Other authors who have discussed the idea of communication, specifically in the field of business, define communication as a two-way process of reaching mutual understanding in which participants not only exchange information, news, ideas, and feelings, but also create and share meaning. In general, communication is a means of connecting people or places (www.businessdictionary.com, 2018).

Other scholars, such as Pearson and Nelson (2000), have defined communication as the process of understanding and sharing meaning. Wilbur Schramm (1954) defined communication as something people do. He goes on to define communication as a transmitted message that has no meaning unless people put a meaning into the message. What is the meaning the sender is intending and what is the perception of the receiver of the message?

This idea resonates the common saying that a tree falling in the forest does not make noise unless someone is there to hear it fall. The person hearing it fall is putting meaning to the sound, much like a person puts meaning to sounds, motions, or pictures when communicating. While all these definitions have similarities, they also have some differences. Therefore, the common definition we will use in this book will be a combination, specifically designed for the field of education (see Communication Models and Theories).