Laura Vissaritis is a qualified dog behaviourist with many years of experience. She formulated the Dognitive Therapy approach to dog training, helping thousands of people not only develop better relationships with their dogs but also improve their own lives. Laura lives in Victoria with her Staffordshire bull terrier, Chester, and rescue dog, Alma.
Acknowledgements
Firstly, I want to thank you, the reader. You have picked up this book with an open mind and a willingness to think about yourself and your dogs a little differently. Thank you for looking at your dog and accepting that perhaps part of their behaviour is reflected in yours. If you dont accept this yet, dont worry. There was I time when I didnt either. But you will. And when you do, it will blow your mind.
To the team at Penguin. Wow, what a team! Ben Ball, Sarah Fairhall, Sam Sainsbury, Sam Mills, Adrian Potts, Johannes Jakob, Kimberley Atkins, Jackie Money, the extraordinary sales team, Alex Cearns, Louisa Maggio, and every member of the team that has welcomed my visits with wide smiles and doggy pats. You have believed in me and my passion that sits well and truly outside the square of traditional dog training. Thank you for your patience, support and open-mindedness.
My beautiful friends. Only a handful are not dogs, so you must be special! Sie Wey, Steve, Melissa, Becks, Ange, Mark and Giu. To my sisters, Em, Tab, and Angie: three magnificent women who I adore completely.
Mum, you are a woman of great strength and character. You are the woman who never gives up and fights for what you believe in. I have never known anyone like you and am eternally grateful for having picked up those apples from the tree.
Thank you to my ever-loving and supportive better half Chris. I hope that each day I make you proud, just as you inspire awe in me each and every day. You have always believed in me. You have known that my heart and soul lives for creating a better life for dogs and you have encouraged me to write a book that is fearless and true to what I believe in. I could have never done this without your support. I adore you completely and couldnt imagine any lifetime without you by my side.
Alma, you are an example of how the most vulnerable can be equally strong and wise. A lifetime of hardship challenged by resilience and strength makes you a better person than I could ever be. You are a phenomenal woman, though a dog. I am in awe of your patience and trust. Your fumbling feet at my side, willing to follow me wherever I go without question, make you one of the best friends I have ever had. I will never let you down.
Chester. There is this overwhelming love I have for you that cannot be done justice with mere words. You are the embodiment of everything good in this world. If I could be half the person you are, I would be twice the person I strive for. You remind me to focus on the good and make the most of every moment, for I never know when you may no longer be at my side. You are a glorious burden, because every moment we share is one less moment to spend together. I know you wont live forever, but I know that together, we have a chance to show the world that man and dog are a force that can achieve a kinder and better world. Thank you for being my light, my life and my love. You, Chester are my soulmate.
Lastly, to the dogs. You are the best people. I hope your human agrees.
To the love of my life.
MICHAEL JOSEPH
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First published by Penguin Random House Australia Pty Ltd, 2017
Text copyright Laura Vissaritis, 2017
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All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
Cover design by Louisa Maggio Penguin Random House Australia Pty Ltd
Text design by Samantha Jayaweera Penguin Random House Australia Pty Ltd
Cover photograph by Alex Cearns/Houndstooth Studio
Illustrations by Louisa Maggio Penguin Random House Australia Pty Ltd
penguin.com.au
ISBN: 978-1-76014-339-8
Summary
The table below summarises the key learnings of this book. In each chapter, we have looked at what the most helpful traits and virtues are to underpin our thoughts, choices, emotions and behaviours. The table shows the types of behaviours and mindsets you should strive for, and how these will improve not only your own life, but that of your dog.
TRAITS AND VIRTUES | YOU | YOUR DOG |
Consistent PatientRespectful | Become someone who is true to your word, who has empathy and who is understanding. These traits help to define leadership and those around you will want to follow. | Your dog will start to see you as a leader. They will follow your guidance because they want to, not because they feel they have to. |
Calm CooperativeControlled | Find ways to exist as a calm, cooperative and controlled person no matter what stress you are under. Apply some acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) techniques and sit with any distress you may feel. Realise what rational choices you have and make them without using emotions. | You provide leadership by rewarding positive mindsets and behaviours. Your dog will start to feel more content, more in control and more optimistic about themselves and their relationship with you. |
Trust | Trust your own judgement. Consider your options and make decisions based on what you believe in. | Show your dog they can trust you by setting them up for success in times of uncertainty. If you think your dog will fail in a situation, remove them from it immediately and give them something positive to focus on. Dont risk the breakdown of trust. It is difficult to regain. |
Empathy | Always consider the points of view of others, however, do not adopt the emotional chaos that can result from over-empathising. | Thinking from your dogs point of view makes them feel understood and respected. |
Predictability Controllability | Try to predict and control environments where you can but at the same time acknowledge that you cant always. In those times, you adopt the 3 Cs and find a way to remove yourself from the situation if needed. | Your dog stops continuously trying to predict and control their environment because they trust you will do it successfully for them. |
Mindfulness | Sit, breathe and be. Focus on the present and accept what you are facing. | Your dog is already mindful. Watch them whenever you feel overwhelmed. Let them think you are mindful too. |
Seizing good moments | Look for the great moments in your day, including the ones your dog provides. | Your dog will start to offer good behaviours all the time, knowing that you will consistently, patiently and respectfully look for the good in them. |
Motivation | Remind yourself that every goal you have is achievable. Celebrate the tiny stuff, its what is most important. When you fail, which you will, embrace it, learn from it and see it as being a step closer to success. |