Abbey Curran - The Courage to Compete: Living with Cerebral Palsy and Following My Dreams

T he most amazing moments of my life came at the Miss Iowa USA pageant. I wasnt there to watch the pageant. I was actually there to compete in it. I felt like I must be sleepwalking or dreaming or something because all my life I had wanted to be a beauty queen. When I got picked for the Top Ten, I thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to me in the entire world. Then I got in the Top Two, which was bigger than anything I had ever thought would happen. It had come down to me and just one other girl, though I knew she would win because she was more beautiful than I could ever imagine being. But then I heard the unbelievable words, The winner for Miss Iowa 2008 is Abbey Curran!

Honestly, I was so amazed and excited I thought I might pass out! As the crown was set on my head, my eyes filled to overflowing with tears of gratitude and joy. It was the moment when my dream came true, when my life changed. Above all, it was the moment that confirmed what I had always believed: anything is possible.

Of course, any contestant would have been thrilled. But I wasnt just any contestant. I was the first person with a disability to compete in a major beauty pageant. The fact that I was there at all amazed a lot of people. To tell you the truth, it amazed me, too, because I knew what it had taken to get there.

I was born with cerebral palsy. I walk with a limpa serious limpand I drag my left leg behind me. Theres no way I could hide those things no matter how much I might try. So I know how horrible it feels to have people prejudge you, to have them assume you dont have a brain just because you happen to walk differently than they do. And I know what its like to have people stare at you as if you were a weirdo and ask you questions like, Can you go places by yourself or drive a car?

I tell them, Of course I can... I can also feed myself and brush my teeth, too!

Heres the point: There are two words Ive always refused to say, and those two words are I cant. Lots of people have tried to discourage me from doing things I wanted to do, but whenever someone tells me theres no way I can do something, I always say, Just watch me.

My life is proof that you can do anything you set your mind to doing, as long as you work hard, never give up, and arent afraid to fail. Im aware that most people assume I must be severely limited, but the fact is, I have never put limitations on myself. Sometimes I feel like the bumblebee that isnt supposed to fly because its body is too big and its wings are too small, but the bumblebee doesnt know thisit just flies away!

It may seem like I was born with this positive outlook, but thats not the case. All my life, Ive had to ignore my nerves and shyness and force myself to move forward; Ive had to act as if I believed in myself until I really, actually did. Along the way, I made history when I became Miss Iowa 2008, and competed for the title of Miss USA. More important, when I was still in high school, I established my own pageant for disabled girls. The pageant is called the Miss You Can Do It pageant, and the name totally sums up what I believe.

Im determined to do whatever I can to break the glass ceiling that hovers over girls in general, and especially girls with challenges like mine. I want to be an advocate for all the challenged girls who have to deal with the same problems I have faced, problems that confront them all the time, that make them feel so different, and hurt so much they can break your heart. One of the many things Ive overcome is getting upset about the pitying looks strangers have given me for as long as I can remember. When Im just going along, minding my own business, Ill hear someone say, That poor girl.

You can imagine how awful it is when people youve never even met think they know all about you. So when anyone asks what it is like being born with a disability, my answer is It sucks! And thats an understatement. CP permeates every aspect of my life. For instance: Ill get out of my car feeling on top of the world, and one minute later, Ill fall smack down on my face in the parking lot; Im dying to adopt a Saint Bernard but I cant, because a big dog would knock me down; I want so much to hurry over to people and help them cross the street or to open a door for them, but I almost never do because I cant get there in time.

Another thing I really want is to find an amazing husband and have babies, but Ive always had to face the fact that guys look past me. For guys, my CP is a total turnoff, though theres no real reason why that should be. Maybe its because they wonder if they would have to take care of me, but the answer to that is NO! Or maybe they wonder if my CP will get worse (another NO!) or if Ill die early because of it (NO!). Can I have babies? YES! Do I need help with anything? NO WAY! But I cant wear a T-shirt that says all of this, so they dont know, they dont ask, and therefore they dont even try.

But as much as I would love to have a date, a boyfriend, a husband, I try not to worry about it. For me, finding a nice, caring man is like finding a needle in a haystack. Sometimes I think Im not supposed to be married. Maybe Im meant to do bigger things. Most women dream of getting married and having babiesand dont get me wrong, those things are definitely on my listbut Im in nursing school now and want to earn my master of science in nursing first. Id also love to create my own shoe line and create stylish medical devices like wheelchairs and walkers for those who really need them. Most wheelchairs are totally hideous; theyre an eyesore. A lot of times, they have the effect of making disabled people look way sicker than they actually are, and that becomes another hurdle for them to get over. Can you imagine if wheelchairs were pretty? What if each one was a reflection of its users personality? One might be gold and white and delicatelike the kind of chair youd see in a beautiful home. Another could be bright red with polka-dot upholstery. If thats how wheelchairs were, youd definitely have a whole different feeling about the people sitting in them!

Id also love to be a reporter for CNN or HLN. Being on TV has always been one of my biggest dreams. Id like to be the person sent to the scene to report live whenever there is a story about bullying or about any issues involving people with disabilities. Id like to be the voice in America for people who arent usually heard. Id like to be the person who isnt afraid to state the facts and tell the whole story, no matter how difficult or painful it may be. I want to tell stories about girls who get bullied because they wear leg braces or because theyre born with Down syndrome or because they had chemotherapy and lost their hair. I want to help people understand them. I want to tell stories about what goes on in the minds and hearts of people who are different. Those kinds of stories might encourage people to think more, to care more about other people, and to do better.

Another thing Id love to do is start a get-off-your-booty boot camp for people with disabilities and also for parents of the disabled. Having a disability doesnt mean you cant do any physical activityeven though I have CP, I love going to spin class! My idea is for a two-week camp with lots of exercise and healthful food that would show people how much more energetic you feel when youre in great shape.