Nancy Guthrie - When Your Familys Lost a Loved One: Finding Hope Together
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After my wife and all four children drowned in a flash flood, I held onto the Guthries words of hope that immediately soothed my shattered soul. Like me, you will instantly connect with David and Nancy. Their honesty and empathy will validate, articulate, and resonate with your pain. Their heartfelt words in this book will give you the inspiration and godly direction you desperately long for on your journey through your valley of grief. God will indeed speak through these pages to help restore your wounded soul.
R OBERT R OGERS
Founder, Mighty in the Land Ministry
and author, Into the Deep
I wish Id had a copy of this book when I first got home from the jungle after losing my husband, Martin. After being held captive by the Abu Sayyaf for a year in the Philippines, he was killed in the gun battle that led to my rescue.
God, in His incredible goodness and kindness, brought Nancy Guthrie into my life soon after my rescue. She acted as my publicist as I was thrust into the media spotlight after my return to the U.S. She took me to interviews, sat with me as they did my makeup, coached me on what was coming upall the while encouraging me and talking with me about grief. I was listening. She had just been through much loss herself, and her words of counsel were invaluable!
You may not be able to meet Nancy in person, but I am so glad that you can benefit from her and her husbands wisdom through this book. Thank you, David and Nancy, for being faithful to the Lord! Thank you for sharing your lives with those of us that are hurting! We are grateful for you.
G RACIA B URNHAM
Author, In the Presence of My Enemies
and To Fly Again: Surviving the Tailspins of Life
This is the first grief book you should read after the death of a family member. David and Nancy Guthrie guide you through the practical issues you need to face in the midst of your grief, while offering you hope that better days are ahead.
S TEVE G RISSOM
Founder, GriefShare
When Your Familys Lost a Loved One
Copyright 2008 by David and Nancy Guthrie. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
Focus on the Family and the accompanying logo and design are trademarks of Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995.
A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188
TYNDALE and Tyndales quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked ( ESV ) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked ( MSG ) are taken from The Message (paraphrase). Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Scripture quotations marked ( AMP ) are taken from The Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Some names and details of certain case studies in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved. The events and underlying principles, however, have been conveyed as accurately as possible.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout prior written permission of Focus on the Family.
Cover design: Jennifer Ghionzoli. Cover photo: Jimi Allen, copyright by Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. Author photo: Copyright by Steve Wood. All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Guthrie, David.
When your familys lost a loved one : finding hope together / David and Nancy Guthrie.
p. cm.
At head of title: Focus on the Family
ISBN: 978-1-58997-480-7
1. GriefReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. BereavementReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Consolation. I. Guthrie, Nancy. II. Title.
BV4905.3.G88 2008
248.8'66dc22
2007048849
Build: 2013-01-23 15:40:34
We lovingly dedicate this book to our son, Matt Guthrie.
Youll never know how happy it makes us
when you walk through the door.
While nothing has brought us as much sorrow
as losing your brother and sister,
nothing has brought us as much joy as these
18 years being your mom and dad.
We can hardly wait to see how God is going
to use you in this world to build His kingdom.
We are grateful to Andrea Doering for suggesting we write this book, to Larry Weeden and the rest of the team at Focus on the Family for giving us the opportunity, and to John Duckworth for helping us say it a little better.
We have had such a sweet time sitting down with some of our friends and making new ones as we interviewed people for the Q&As in this book. We thank them not only for their time, but for their openness and honesty, and for their willingness to use the hurts in their lives to help others get through what theyve gotten through.
As weve looked back on our own experience of getting our family through our losses, we are so grateful for the loving care we received from our church family at Christ Presbyterian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, for the limitless love of our parents, Claude and Ella Dee Jinks and Wink and Rita Guthrie, and for the companionship of so many friends who walked through such hard days with us.
Little did I know when I became pastor of David and Nancy Guthrie and their son, Matt, that it would be my privilege to walk with them through the long, dark, and painful valley of losing two of their children.
The journey taken by the Guthrie family was a strange combination of great joy and deep sorrow. It was also a period of significant spiritual growth. The Guthries gained a deep understanding of how God graciously uses suffering to accomplish His purposes. They also came to appreciate as never before the blessing of being deeply rooted in the Body of Christ. They were loved well by their friends, and found within the Christian community the love and support all of us desperately need as we grope in the darkness with lots of fear, sadness, and a myriad of questions.
In the midst of their loss, I saw something beautiful happen. It wasnt that they were in denial over their loss or that they didnt struggle with fears or questions. Their pain and sadness was very real. But just as real was their response of faith, their determination to trust God with their losses, and their commitment to love each other well.
I have seen the Guthries emerge from the fire of extreme trial as refined gold. Their faith is deeper. Their spirits are sweeter. Their capacity to love and serve those who suffer is greater.
Somehow they look more like Jesus on this side of the valley than they did when they began the journey.
Since their own journey through the valley of the shadow of death, David and Nancy have proven to be a blessing to untold thousands who are called to walk similar paths. Im glad you have picked up this book because I believe you will be blessed by the insights theyve gained from ministering to many, many people who have faced what you are facing in your loss.
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