Susan Wiggs - The Story of Us

My mother always warned me about men on motorcycles, so I suppose that was why, as a fresh-faced college girl in the 1980s, I found them so intriguing. Bikers in general, and Steve Bennett in particular.

On the day I met him, I had no idea a great adventure awaited us. On that day, in fact, I was feeling lost. This was pretty unusual for me, for I had spent my whole life up to that point doing what was right. I got good grades in school because it was easy, and because it pleased my parents. I dated Travis Hunt because he was kin to the Hunt brothers, and in Texas, that meant money and prestige. I attended Trinity University in San Antonio, because it was exclusive and according to my parents, Id be likely to meet the right sort of people.

It was the summer of my junior year, and Id managed to bitterly disappoint my family by failing to attain, in addition to my B.S. in business, the vaunted Mrs. degree they wanted for me. Although I still had a year to go, I felt the weight of their expectations pressing like a yoke across my shoulders. When youre the only child, you bear so many hopes and dreams alone, its a wonder you dont collapse.

I had no idea at the time that my life was about to change. The spring semester had just ended, and I went home for the weekend to laze around Eagle Lake with two of my sorority sisters. The three of us drove the sun-baked back roads of the Texas hill country in RaeLynn Cullens cherry red vintage Ford Fairlane convertible with the top down and our shirts off to display bikini tops that would make the Delta Delta Delta house mother blow a gasket if she knew.

The three of usRaeLynn, Trudy Long and mehad a favorite swimming hole on the north shore of the lake near the revival camp of the Halfway Baptist Church. In May, the sun was still a kindly presence in the wide blue sky rather than a roar of deadly heat, which it would be when August arrived. The spring-fed waters of the lake were downright chilly, and we took our time easing in.

I put off the inevitable plunge by sitting on the dock for a while, staring out at the flat, bright water and thinking of nothing. The sun warmed my head and a light breeze shimmered through the trees, and I busied myself by contemplating my toes. Id tried a new shade of polish called Tangerine Dreams and I liked it a lot. The fact that I was thinking about nail polish at all was a pretty darned clear indication of my own discontent. Here I was, twenty years old, a mature college girl, and for the life of me, I couldnt decide what to do with myself.

We cant make up our minds between Cozumel and Acapulco, said RaeLynn, whod been my best friend since fourth grade at Edenville Elementary. She was quitting school to marry her boyfriend, who had just graduated. Dallas says the golf is better on the west coast of Mexico.

Its a honeymoon, I pointed out, squeezing a tube of sunscreen and rubbing the sweetish scent of coconut oil on my shoulders. He shouldnt be thinking about golf at all.

RaeLynn laughed. You have no understanding of the male brain, Grace McAllen.

Shes right, said Trudy, outgoing president of the Tri Delts and my second-best friend. A year older than RaeLynn and me, she possessed the special, almost Yoda-like wisdom of a brand-new college graduate. You dont, Grace. How is RaeLynn going to shop if hes not out golfing?

He can go shopping with her, I pointed out.

Thats about as likely as me playing golf, RaeLynn said with a laugh. Weve got it all worked out, Grace. Marriage is one big process of negotiation and compromise.

Then its no wonder Im one of the few in the house whos going to get through college without getting married. Im not into negotiation and compromise, much to my parents despair.

Trudy took off her sunglasses to put lotion on her nose. Her brown eyes regarded me with a kindness so sincere it hurt, almost. So they still havent forgiven you for dumping Travis Hunt last semester.

The sting of my parents disapproval over my broken engagement to The Perfect Man was unexpectedly intense. According to my parents, I had blown an opportunity for high society, the best of everything, a golden future. A Hunt, my mother had railed in exasperation. You could be marrying a Hunt, becoming one of the most important women in Texas. My grandmother, whom Id always regarded as an ally, had been disappointed, too, though she tried to hide it. My father pointed out that as a Hunt, Id be set for life, never being subjected to the worries of a mortgage, a family. I could have had a life of leisure.

You dont talk to a twenty-year-old about being leisurely. I was full to bursting with restless energy and vague but colorful dreams that were trying to take shape in my imagination. My parents didnt understand that I wantedmore. I wasnt sure exactly what that meant, but there was this sense inside me of reaching, of burning, of embracing the richness of life as it unfolds. I just hadnt figured out what that meant for me. Believe me, it made for pretty weak dinner-table arguments.

I steeled my nerves and dove into the lake, hoping the shock of cold water would wash away the bothersome thoughts. But the water was even too cold for that, so I howled and scrambled back onto the dock.

Lordy, thats brutal, I told RaeLynn and Trudy, vigorously scrubbing myself dry with a towel. Then I pulled on my cutoffs, lay back on the warm wooden planks and looked out at the stark majesty of the hill country. Sandstone crags and grasslands covered with wildflowers framed the intensely blue, mirrorlike water, the surface as blank, vast and empty as an unwritten page. That didnt help at all.

Help what? asked RaeLynn.

I combed my fingers through my damp hair. Still thinking about my parents. I try not to let them bother me. But in their eyes, I confessed, Im a failure already.

Listen to you, Grace, Trudy said, putting her shades on and leaning back on the heels of her hands. Here it is, 1985, and youre still expected to be the little woman. Its like youre in a time warp or something.

Thats my parents. They mean well, I suppose.

I wish you had a racy big sister to get in trouble so you could fly under the radar, Trudy said. Having Paulette pave the way always helped me enormously.

Last I heard, Paulette had turned vegetarian and was living in Austin with two guys, both of whom were honky-tonk musicians. She embodied my parents great fear that if I didnt find an appropriate man, I would wind up in some terrible situation like that.

I tried not to think about the disappointment in their eyes and the displeasure in their voices when I told them that not only did I not wish to marry Travis Hunt, but I also didnt intend to move back to my sleepy little hometown after graduation. And finally, when I made it clear to them that the likelihood of me marrying a man they approved of was slim to none.

Yet I did want things. I wanted a husband and family, I wanted a life filled with passion and purpose. Unfortunately for me, I had no idea how to go about finding it. I just knew it wasnt waiting for me like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, right here in Edenville.

Braving the chill water, Trudy and RaeLynn went swimming to wash off the heat of the day. I wandered back to the car to get the novel I was reading, Lucky by Jackie Collins. I sank into the story, wanting to be Lucky Santangelo, prowling the glittering casinos of Vegas and having all sorts of imaginative sexual adventures. Heavens, who wouldnt want that?