Beth Leibson - The Cancer Survivor Handbook: Your Guide to Building a Life After Cancer

Advance Praise for The Cancer Survivor Handbook

These days, more and more of us survive cancer, for longer and longer. Yet until now very little has been written to prepare people for life after treatment. Beth Leibsons wide-ranging The Cancer Survivor Handbook fills that gap brilliantly, with solid advice, sensitivity, and even a dash of humor.

Elinor Nauen, health writer, former editor of special health sections for Newsweek

A beautifully written book that distills the wisdom that replaces denial when cancer diagnosis strips away our delusion of invincibility. The tone will calm your anxieties as you recognize your own worried thoughts in these pages, which offer real solutions. Beth Leibson, who has been diagnosed with cancer three separate times, proves herself not just a strong writer, but a remarkably strong woman indeed.

Kasia Moreno, editorial director, Forbes Insights

This beautiful book is empathic, practical, heartbreaking, and inspiring. Its obviously essential for anyone fighting cancer or anyone who loves someone who isbut more than that, it is a memoir of survival and an introduction to many people united only by a diagnosis. Leibson is unafraid to address the questions survivors actually have ( What will happen to my sex drive? Can they fire me for having cancer? ) and to share her own achingly human story. Not just recommended readingrequired reading.

James C. Kaufman, professor of educational psychology, University of Connecticut, and Mensa Research Award winner

As a fellow cancer cohort, I loved this book. Beths journey goes from data to stories to questions. She covers every topic imaginable and really, from sex to wellness, to what to say to people... she tells it like it is. The book has you laughing (and a little tearful), but keeps you totally engaged from beginning to end.

Ann Fry, workplace cancer coach, Huffington Post blogger, founder of www.iamathriver.com

Beth Leibson, who has been there (and back) herself, offers sound, practical advice that resonates with wisdom.

Charles Salzberg, novelist, journalist, and three-time Shamus Award winner.

Beth Leibsons book The Cancer Survivor Handbook should be on the must-read lists for cancer survivors, but whats less apparent, and just as important, is that it is a great book for psychotherapists, doctors, caregivers, and anyone else who has a relationship with someone who has had cancer. This well-researched, accessible book, helps us to understand that once the treatments and the doctors visits are over, a new life begins. Ms. Leibsons writing is at once familiar and respectful of her subject, as well as her readers, and one feels as if they have an intimate understanding and appreciation for the ongoing process of life postcancer.

Janet Zinn, psychotherapist

Copyright 2014 by Beth Leibson

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

ISBN: 978-1-62873-613-7

Printed in the United States of America

To Maya and Ari

C ONTENTS

Introduction

E very October, PS 3, a creative artsoriented elementary school in New York Citys Greenwich Village, holds a Halloween parade.

All the children, from pre-K up through fifth grade, come to school in costume and, before their outfits get covered in paint, marker, or mud, they march around the block, led by their teachers and swarmed by adoring parents. I do mean swarmed; for a short person like me, its important to show up early if you want a spot where your view isnt blocked.

What a view it is. Monsters and princesses, aliens and sports figures, occasional political figures, superheroes and fluffy animals. Expensive store-bought costumes as well as plenty of homemade outfits. Creativity is encouraged. One year, my son dressed up as a lump of coal, clad in gray and black with a purposefully dirty face. And then there was the year my daughters teacher dressed as a bunch of grapes, covered head-to-toe with purple balloons; after the parade, her students had a great time popping her costume.

Afterward, theres always an assemblya combination childrens talent show, parents band, and opportunity for the kids to model their costumes and see everyone elses outfits, now that the parents have all finished ooh-ing and aah-ing. In years past, I never stayed for the show; my curiosity was sated by the parade, and I hurried off to heed the call of my work.

But this year, my limited energy level beat out my now-lesspersuasive deadlines. Id just finished six months of chemotherapy and twenty-some sessions of radiation treatment, not to mention about a half-dozen surgeries for diagnostic purposes and to install and then remove my port (the catheter used to shoot chemotherapy treatments directly into my arteries). I was worn out, and attending the assembly would give me a chance to support my childrens school, enjoy a little more cuteness, and grab a few moments of rest. At this point, I was scheduling my life around places and opportunities to sit for a bit.

So I went into the assembly and, unlike most of the parents who remained, took a seat. Actually, there werent very many seats to take, so I ended up positioning myself on a sturdy table. Relaxing from the strenuousness of parade watching, I enjoyed the joyful noise as the kids cheered for each other, and wondered why I had always rushed off and missed this show. It was worth it just for the kids enthusiasm and energy. Then my friend Terry came up to me and asked me, Are you OK? with a concerned look on her face.

Yes, Im fine, I said, confused. Did I look so tired? Surely people had become accustomed to that by now. I touched my face. It was wet; I hadnt even realized I was crying. Im just so glad to be here, I mumbled. I quickly left the auditorium and hurried out of the school, hoping no one else would stop me and ask questions.

According to the Institute of Medicine, 1970s, notes the institute, people diagnosed with cancer had a fifty-fifty shot of being alive five years post-treatment; now the figure is more like 64 percent.

The numbers of younger survivors are growing. Because were diagnosing cancer at younger ages, and treating it more successfully, there are more and more people in the prime of their lives whove been through the cancer experience. According to the institute, more than half of survivors (59 percent) are younger than sixty-five years of age, not even old enough for Medicare. It predicts that the number of cancer survivors will hit almost 18 million by 2022, an increase of more than four million survivors in ten years.

Its a mixed blessing; Im sorry that more and more of us are being diagnosed with cancer, but Im glad that more and more of us are around to tell the story. At this point, cancer survivors are a sizeable alumni club. Its a club to whichfingers crossed, knock on woodI now belong.