Table of Contents
To DB and Sal, who taught me to love life and to tell a good story, and to my wife, Mary, and my two pups, Fred and Ruby, whove had to listen to way too many of them.
Introduction
The real plant expert is the person who has murdered the most plants.
That makes me uniquely qualified to write this book. Dont get me wrong: I have plenty of credentials. I hold a degree from a horticulture college and a masters degree in public administration, and Ive been a longtime Master Gardener, an International Society of Arboriculture Certified Arborist, and a Washington State Nursery & Landscape Association Certified Horticulturist. But my real expertise comes from just doing it. My goal is to have one of every plant on earth in my garden before I die, and Im only about halfway there. At the moment there isnt room for one more plant in my garden! Well, maybe one, or two, or... One thing I can guarantee is that I test everything in my own garden before I tell you that it works.
Ive learned lots about gardening by attending many horticultural trainings and lectures, as well as by experiencing successes in the garden, but the truth of the matter is Ive learned the most from making mistakes. Even my earliest interest in gardening came from a slight boo-boo. When I was nine years old, we lived next door to the prize peony grower in Wischeescin. It just so happened that I was also a budding baseball star. Two days before the big peony judging at the state fair, I hit every bud off the neighbors plant for a home run. My punishment was to help my neighbor in her garden, but she burst into tears every time she looked at me. Thats when I began to realize there must be something valuable about flowers.
Speaking of Wischeescin, youll notice that throughout the book Ive thrown in a few Ciscoe-isms here and there. All my life Ive made up words. One such word is el kabatski, the act of placing a harmful insect between thumb and forefinger and proclaiming El kabatski! as you squish it. Interestingly, I received an email from someone who ran across the term on my website and wanted to know its origin. His email was signed Bob Kabatski.
My career actually began at age ten, when I harassed the priest at a local church to hire me as the lawn boy. Old Joe the gardener wasnt happy about being stuck with a ten-year-old for an assistant, so he wouldnt even talk to me. One day when old Joe was away, I snuck out with his shears to try my hand at pruning; after that he decided it was safer to teach me how to garden than to risk another plant massacre. Ill always be grateful to old Joe. He hated poisons, and he taught me many of the environmentally friendly techniques I use and recommend today.
During my career, Ive worked for many big and small companies, including several of my own. Ive done everything from garden design and installation to grounds maintenance and even tree topping (a long time ago, before we knew better). Of course, my favorite job was the twenty-four years I spent directing the gardening at Seattle University. I still remember my anxiety before the job interview. It was to be conducted by a Jesuit, which sounded intimidating; and I was anticipating a difficult interview test that I needed to pass to qualify for the job. To my great surprise, Father B sauntered in dressed in a grass-stained sweatshirt and baggy jeans. His only question was whether I talked to plants. I barely managed to choke out an answer. He hired me and we became great friends. Together, with the help of a dedicated staff, we turned the Seattle University campus into one of the most attractive gardens in the Pacific Northwest. Our crowning achievement was establishing the environmental program to care for the campus without using any chemical poisons. The university won the top national EPA environmental award during the last two years that I worked there, and its still the only campus designated as a Wildlife Sanctuary by the State of Washington.
Of course, I consider myself exceedingly lucky to have the opportunity to answer gardening questions on TV and radio. In fact, my media career happened mostly by luck. About twenty years ago, I received a call one morning from a producer at KIRO Newsradio in Seattle, asking me to sub for a famous gardening personality who was ill. I was to go on air with Jim French and then host the regular garden experts two-hour question-and-answer show. Although I had become fairly well known locally for giving garden talks, I was a tad bit nervousId never done anything on radio before. As it turned out, I didnt know half the answers to the questions callers hurled at me. I said I dont know so many times, it became a comedy routine. To my great surprise, listeners called in to say that they enjoyed my quirky sense of humor and honesty, and asked the radio station to have me on again. The next thing I knew, I was filling in whenever Mariners games ended early, and before the year was up, I was hosting my very own gardening question-and-answer show.
A couple of years later, I landed my first TV role. I received a letter inviting me to audition for the brand-new Northwest Home and Garden TV show on KIRO to be hosted by none other than Jeff Probst, better known today for his starring role on the television show Survivor. On the letter, I noticed that all the other candidates names were typed in, but my name had been handwritten as an afterthought. Then, like a total dim-dim, I showed up late for the audition. The producer was patently unimpressed. I was the last one to try out, and he barely allowed me to speak. When I got home, I told my wife I blew it. But that night the phone rang, and I was asked to be on the first show. I couldnt believe it but was determined to do my best. The next day I showed upall excited and quite nervousat the garden where we were filming, but no one paid any attention to me. I stood around for about fifteen minutes until I finally caught the producers attention. When I told him who I was, he shouted, You arent Ciscoe, that other guys Ciscoe. When I finally convinced him that I really was Ciscoe, he told the crew, Weve got to do it with this yahoo now! Fortunately, I must have done a good job. The show earned great ratings, and I ended up as a regular for the six years it aired. I still wonder what the guy he thought was Ciscoe is doing these days.
After the six-year run of that show, KIRO TV picked me up for their noon news. I went to the studio once a week to do a short gardening segment with the news anchor. I brought in all kinds of show and tell: plants, bug-damaged leaves (along with the bug), and even my little dog Kokie when I talked about protecting plants from squirrels. It was a lot of fun, until the day I was informed that they had to dump the fluff on the show to squeeze in the daytime soap The Bold and the Beautiful. Such is media.
Throughout the mid-1990s, I occasionally appeared as the garden expert for the local TV stations when there was breaking garden-related news. Then in February 2001, we were hit with a cold front. Meeghan Black from KING5 TV came out to do a story on protecting your plants from the cold. After it aired, Meeghan suggested to the station that they consider asking me to be a regular on their news like I was at the other station. Poor Meeghan: Little did she know that she would get stuck doing gardening tips with me for the next six-plus years. Our partnership is stronger than ever today. Our three-to-four minute gardening tips appear during the morning news on KING5 every Saturday and Sunday, and on the midday news program every Tuesday and Thursday. The half-hour show
