Stoltz - GRIT: The New Science of What It Takes to Persevere, Flourish, Succeed

The Nitty-Gritty

I t is nearly impossible to overstate or overestimate GRITs power, reach, and influence. Ever had that eye-opening experience when you leave home for a period of time, only to notice things anew when you return? Where its almost like being a tourist in your own town, or even your own home? Or when that long-awaited summer break between grades made you see your school differently the moment you walked through those doors again come fall?

For a brief moment, you had that invigoratingly bright, fresh lens on everything around you. Somehow, whatever you saw and experienced out there, or simply the act of being away, made you see things differently right here.

Now, lets try that with GRIT. Try looking through that lens. Given the definition above, turn on your GRIT radar. Scan for GRIT in your own family, neighborhood, friends, job, and community. You may be astonished by what you discover.

Take the GRIT Challenge

The GRIT Challenge is a simple game you can play to quickly and powerfully put GRIT into context. It involves four simple steps. Heres how it works:

1. Draw a (roughly) 50-mile radius around your home. If you live in a city, five blocks may be plenty.
2. Walk out the door, stroll your streets, peruse your community, and look for anyone who has accomplished anything you consider to be worthwhile. It could be something like achieving a dream, raising great kids, growing a happy marriage/relationship, building a successful business, graduating with good grades, beating the odds, creating a good life, remaining healthy, or simply being happy.
3. Unearth their story. Just ask them about them. Then listen deeply to what they say.
4. Now, based on the GRIT definition (above), ask yourself, What role did GRIT play in this story, in their success?

SPOILER ALERT: GRIT IS THE STORY

I took the GRIT Challenge. I had to. I did it to write this book. I did it to put my theories to the real test. And even after spending an entire careerthirty-five years of research, decoding and upgrading the human interface with adversity and what it takes to succeedthe GRIT Challenge frankly and fundamentally altered my entire view of both humanity and human endeavor. It moved GRIT to the top of the heap of what I coach, teach, research, parent, and strive to forever improve.

GRIT Challenge THE REAL TEST

One day we got a call out of the blue from Celeste, the very able executive assistant for a guy who lives not far up the road. He had an unusual name: Khosro Khaloghli. Celeste had to repeat it more than once. I picked up key snippets: she said he goes by KK or Dr. K (whew) resides in a small town called Cambria.

Celeste was reaching out to my wife, Ronda, the leadership professor at Cal Poly, for her to potentially emcee an event for Dr. K and provide him some executive coaching on his presentation skills. Fun! It sounded as if he was genuinely keen on improving and mastering new skills.

As I overheard the conversation, I saw Ronda sitting up straighter and becoming more and more amazed by whatever story she was being told. And shes heard some good ones over her thirty years as a professor, which suggested this was going to be really something. So I turned on my GRIT radar and got ready to start asking questions. As soon as Ronda hung up, she turned to me, took a deep breath, and said, Wow. Youre not going to believe this one. This guys amazing! She was right.

KKs story begins in a one-room hovel in the poorest ghetto on the outskirts of Tehran, Iran. This is where he was born and raised. It was a hardscrabble life buried in a sandstorm of struggle, with immigrant parents who did not speak the language, and whose religion and customs were not exactly embraced.

They had nothing except whatever scraps of food they could find to feed their three children, and whatever shreds of old newspaper they could salvage to wrap Khosros feet, so he could walk miles, often through snow, and with any luck avoid the ruthless gangs of kids on the way to school. Hungry, threatened, poor, and cold. That was how each day began and ended.

It was clear to KK, even as a very young boy, that in order to survive, he would have to learn to fend for himself. On good days when they had managed to scrape together enough money, it was his job to go stand in line for as long as two hours at the local bakery to buy a loaf of bread. Each day, as he left the shop, he was attacked by bigger kids trying to steal his bread. If he lost the scuffle, his entire family went hungry. One day, even the baker, who absentmindedly pocketed Khosros money, accused him of not paying and beat him up, sending him home bloody and breadless.

Determined not to go home breadless anymore, KK took up wrestling, an extremely popular sport in Iran, whose wrestlers often rank among the best in the world. He knew he had to be tough to prevail in a tough world. He trained hard. He became good because he had to make it home with the bread. It was a scrappy existence. And it was all KK knew. Yet it fueled KKs determination to forgefrom actual grit, mud, and dusta better life for himself and his family. This is how his GRIT story began.