Simonian - Bi-Curious George

This is George. He lived in the jungle. He was a straight little monkey but always very... curious. One day George saw a man. He had on a sassy purple beret.

And George got excited, despite himself. The man saw George too. Im always in the mood for some hot monkey love, he thought. I would like to take him home with me. He put his beret on the ground, and, of course, George couldnt help himself.

The man had looked so sexy in the beret. The man had looked so sexy in the beret.

George wanted to be sexy too. He picked it up and put it on. He felt gayer already. The beret still smelled of the mans cologne. George closed his eyes to bask in the thick cloud of man stank. The man picked him up quickly and popped him into his shoulder bag.

Its a man-purse, said the man. George was caught. And a little excited.

The man with the sassy purple beret put George into a little boat with a strapping young lad who rowed them to a big ship. Hello, sailor! thought George. curious. On the big ship, the man took George out of his murse. On the big ship, the man took George out of his murse.

Finally, thought George. Im not a fucking Chihuahua. George, I was once like you. And now I am here to help you, said the man. I am going to take you to a big club in the city called The Zoo. A lot. A lot.

You will also enjoy this special cruise we are on. Now run along and play. But dont do anything I wouldnt do! George promised to be good. But it is easy for horny little monkeys to forget.

On the deck he found some oiled-up men dancing and drinking. He wondered how they could do so many of these things called body shots.

He was very curious. Finally he HAD to try. It looked easy. But-

oh, what happened! First this- and then this! WHERE IS GEORGE? yelled every able-bodied seaman. Seaman, George giggled between his dry heaves. Hes on his knees! cried one sailor. Hes on his knees! cried one sailor.

But not in a good way! cried another. They picked him up. One held his hair, while the other rubbed his back. Best! Night! Ever! thought George through all his tears and snot. And at last he got it all out of his system.

At last, the long trip was over.

That was the gayest cruise in history, thought George. You aint seen nothing yet, said the man. George and the man with the sassy purple beret walked down the gangbang- GangPLANK, corrected the man- and on to the mans impeccably decorated loft in the trendiest part of the city.

After a light vegan supper and a smoke of something George quickly realized was not tobacco, George finally felt relaxed and ready to make it happen. He crawled into the mans bed to wait for him. But the man never came.

So neither did George. The next morning George woke up alone and upset. But you just cant stay angry with a man who wears the same purple outfit every day. The man telephoned The Zoo. Whose list are you on? they asked. Im with the DJ, said the man with a confident wink and a smile.

George was so turned on. But the man went away again. George was lonely. If the man could find gay love on the telephone, so could George. But who to call? George thought and thought. Then he started dialing.

DING-A-LING-A-LING! went the phone at the fire station. The firemen rushed to the telephone. Hello! Hello! they said. But George did not answer them. Dont worry, were coming! they yelled. You sure will be! thought George.

He could picture them racing over and was so excited. This was the perfect plan. Firemen were even sexier than sailors!

The firemen rushed through the door. WHERE IS THE FIRE?! they cried. In my pants! George was going to say. But he stopped himself- these firemen werent sexy at all! They were old and had big bellies.

Where were all the hunky firemen??? George feared that his wall calendars had been lying to him all these years. The firemen were very upset that there was no fire. Catch that gay little monkey! they cried. Hey, relax with the labeling! thought George as he tried to run away. He almost made it, but he tripped over one mans clogs, and--

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