Deborah Barnes - Makin Biscuits - Weird Cat Habits and the Even Weirder Habits of the Humans Who Love Them

To my sweet Miathe cat who started it all when she decided napping on my toweled head after I got out of the shower was our normaland to my equally sweet Jazmine whose passion for biscuit making inspired the rest to follow.

F or a few years now, Ive been trying to resist the urge to become one of those people who talks endlessly about her cats quirks, oddities, and frequently charming (to me, at any rate) behavior. My efforts are somewhat complicated by the fact that I write about my cats for a living, that Im frequently invited to speak at events where direct questions are asked about my cats by audience members, and by my natural writers impulse to tell a story and tell it to completioneven if my sense of when completion has been attained may have long exceeded my listeners interest and patience.

Recently, at a fundraiser for a no-kill cat shelter in Louisiana, I found myself expounding at length upon my three-legged cat, Claytons, habit of leaping into my lap while Im writing, flipping over onto his back, and demanding that I cradle him like a baby in the crook of my arm.

Like a baby , I insisted several times. Cats are supposed to hate that, but Clayton gets so upset if I dont do it. Isnt that so odd ? Of course, I added, by way of providing all relevant information, Clayton is incredibly needy. He needs a lot of attention. He has no idea that there are cats out there whose humans arent self-employed writers who get to stay home with their cats all day. I always think that if Clayton ever got to talk to other cats whose humans have office jobs and are out of the house every day for nine or ten hours at a time, hed be so...

Well, you get the idea. I like to think that I reined myself in before the actual moment when my audiences eyes glazed over and they started sneaking glances at their watches. But I cant really be sure. This is an area in which Ive come to doubt my own judgment.

My one comfort is in knowing that Im not alone in this. Cat people love to share stories about our cats, about the various ways in which theyre unique and weird and entirely unlike any other cat weve ever lived with or even heard of. This isnt because cat owners are crazy or obsessed in the ways that popular culture loves to accuse us of being. Its because were human, and humansas pack animals who can talk to each otherare hard-wired with a desire to share news and information of the unusual with each other. Its baked into our very DNA.

Of course, definitions of whats legitimately interesting will vary from person to person. Personally, Ill never understand why people are so gung-ho to hear about the latest Brad and Angelina goings-on, or discuss who won on The Bachelor . Give me a good cat story any day! But one womans pleasure is another womans poison, and to each her own, and all that sort of thing.

If its true that were wired to exchange descriptions of the unusual with our fellow humans, then cats certainly provide ample fodder. Dogs are pack animals (like humans), the conventional reasoning goes, and thus more like us in their ways. Cats, however, are solitary hunters (unlike humans), and will forever seem a bit mysterious to us. Your dogs instinct is to please you and conform to your expectations. Your cat, on the other hand, cares very little for your opinions or your expectations, and will therefore pursue any path or behavior that strikes him as fun or desirable without concerning himself very much with what you think is weird.

And, so, every person whos lived with a cat long enough will have at least a couple of stories about the things his or her particular cat does that are unlike anything shes ever heard of any other cat doingthe cat who has a passionate love of carrot cake, even though carrots (or cake, for that matter) arent a food that cats are supposed to be interested in; the cat whos learned how to open the drawer where you keep all your rubber bands, so she can sneak them out one at a time and add them to the hidden rubber-band stash shes collecting in a spot under the couch for no discernible reason; the cat who loves rolling around in the wet bathtub just after youve taken a shower, even though conventional cat wisdom dictates that cats hate getting wet even worse than a gossip columnist hates a stable celebrity marriage.

When it comes to cats, tales of the unusual abound. Being in the position I occupyhaving written a popular memoir about my own catsIve heard from (quite literally) tens of thousands of cat owners over the past few years. They write to me about their joys and concerns. They share stories of oddities and uniqueness. Many of these stories are funny, all of them are laced with obvious affection, and a handful attain, Okayeven I think thats weird! status.

And yet, for all the differences among these tales, there are a handful of themes that I hear repeated so continuously that the only conclusion to be drawn is that they represent experiences common to every person who lives with a cat. People write telling me about the divorce, depression, major illness, job loss, or overseas military service they wouldnt have made it through if not for the warmth and inexplicable understanding of the cat in their life. They write of that moment when even a previously aloof cat will come over to deliver an affectionate head-bonk or biscuit-making session, a moment when the supposed distances between human and cat as two very different species are closed entirely, and all thats left is the certainty of loving and being loved in return.

The stories in this book will entertain you, will startle you at times with their oddness or make you laugh at others. But the one common thread youll find is a shared love that defies all set expectations, even as it resists easy explanation.

Not everybody likes hearing stories about cats. To each his own, as they say. But those of us lucky enough to be owned by cats know exactly where we stand. And we wouldnt have it any other way.

Gwen Cooper is the New York Times bestselling author of the memoir Homer's Odyssey: A Fearless Feline Tale, or How I Learned About Love and Life with a Blind Wonder Cat ; the novels Love Saves the Day and Diary of a South Beach Party Girl ; and the crowd-sourced collection of cat selfies, Kittenish , 100% of the proceeds from which were donated to support animal rescue in Nepal following the 2015 earthquake. She is a frequent speaker at shelter fundraisers and donates 10% of her royalties from Homer's Odyssey to organizations that serve abused, abandoned, and disabled animals. She also manages Homer's ongoing social-media community, which reaches nearly two million cat enthusiasts and rescuers around the world each day. Gwen lives in Manhattan with her husband, Laurence. She also lives with her two perfect catsClayton the Tripod and his litter-mate, Fannywho aren't impressed with any of it.

Dan & Deb

Engaged couple living in the lovely tropics of South Florida and human servants to resident catsZee, Zoey, Mia, Peanut, Rolz, Kizmet, and Jazmine. Dan is the photographer of the family, taking all the stunning pictures featured in the book. Deb is the books author, including creative layout and cover design.