Rayne Hall - Writing Vivid Emotions

Writing Vivid Emotions: Professional Techniques For Fiction Authors

by Rayne Hall

Book cover by Erica Syverson and Uros Jovanovic

2017 Rayne Hall

February 2017 Edition

All rights reserved. Do not reproduce this work in whole or in part without Rayne Halls written permission.

British English.

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

Do you want your characters to feel such strong emotions that the readers' scalps prickle, their mouths go dry and their hearts thud like they're sharing the experience?

Do you want to convey fear or happiness in ways that make the readers feel heat radiating through their chest or cold sweat trickling down their spine? This will pull them deeper into the story than than the tired 'he was afraid' or 'she felt happy'?

This book shows you professional techniques for creating and conveying emotions.

It covers three groups of feelings:

1. Emotions felt by the point of view (PoV) character, the one through whom the reader experiences the story or the scene.
2. Emotions felt by other characters whom the PoV character observes.
3. The readers' emotions as they read the story.

Each requires a different approach, and I'll show you the best way to handle them.

Step by step, you'll learn how to express feelings through body language, dialogue, thought, similes, visceral sensations and mood-rich descriptions. The book also guides you through layering emotions and varying their intensity. It shows you how to subtly reveal a character's secret or suppressed emotions.

The book also flags mistakes to avoid and reveals tricks used by professional authors. At the end of each chapter, you'll find assignments. If you like, you can use this book as an advanced fiction-writing course.

Each section gets directly to the point, making this a concise manual for writers who know what they want to achieve. This book is not suitable for absolute beginners. It assumes that you have mastered the basics of your craft and know how to create characters and write dialogue. If you're new to crafting fiction, I suggest you set this guide aside for now and start with a basic fiction-writing book.

To avoid clunky constructions like 'he or she did this to him or her', I apply sometimes the female pronoun, sometimes the male. Everything in this book applies to women and men equally. Please note: I use British English words, spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Now let's bring your characters' emotions to life.

Enjoy!

Rayne Hall

CHAPTER 1: HOW TO CONVEY EMOTION THROUGH BODY LANGUAGE

When we feel an emotion, our bodies react. Our posture, facial expression, gestures, movement pattern, skin colour and tone of voice change, often without us being aware.

As writers, we can use body language to 'show don't tell' what a character feels.

Look at these examples:

He banged a fist on the table.

She slammed the door behind her.

As a reader, you don't need to be told that these characters are angry, do you? Their body language says it clearly.

These body language cues are much more effective than bland statements like:

He was angry.

She felt anger.

Body language is the number one tool for conveying character emotions. Psychologists refer to body language cues as 'tells' which is confusing for writers, since we use them to 'show don't tell'. That's why I prefer the word 'cue'.

BODY LANGUAGE IN DIALOGUE SCENES

Body language works great in dialogue. Put the body language cue in the same paragraph as what the character says, either before or after or in the middle. Then you can skip the dialogue tags ( 'he said', 'she exclaimed' ), and you certainly won't need adverbs (' he said angrily' ).

Here are examples of how you can handle the body language as a dialogue attribution beat with jaw-rubbing as the cue. People rub their jaws when they are uncertain about something but consider it favourably. These three variations show the beat placed after, before and in the middle of the spoken line.

"I suppose it's possible." John rubbed his jaw.

John rubbed his jaw. "I suppose it's possible."

"I suppose it's possible." John rubbed his jaw. "If you give the order, we'll try."

Body language can emphasise what the speaker says.

Mary glanced at her watch. "Hurry up. The train will leave in four minutes."

John's face brightened. "I'd love that."

CAUTION: DON'T USE BODY LANGUAGE THE POV CAN'T SEE

Who is the PoV character of this scene? If you show the experience from a specific character's perspective, you need to stay inside that character. Most of the time, people are unaware of their own body language, and they can't see their own facial expressions.

This means you can show only those bits of body language the PoV character is aware of or is doing deliberately - or those she observes in others.

If Mary is the PoV character, don't write

Mary's face grew pale.

or

A deep frown appeared on Mary's forehead.

because she simply can't see this.

Although you can use some forms of deliberate body language ( Mary slammed the door behind her), it's best not to rely on body language for the PoV. In Chapter 2, I'll show you a better technique for conveying what the PoV feels.

OVERUSED NOVICE BODY LANGUAGE

When new writers discover body language, they often use the same narrow range of cues:

• smile
• frown
• shrug
• nod
• raise brow
• bite lip
• clench fist
• single tear

These are not wrong, but they get boring with repetition. Aim for more variety.

At the end of this book, I've compiled a Thesaurus of Body Language Cues where you can look up the emotions you want to convey and find several body language suggestions for each.

PROFESSIONAL TIP

To create tension, you can use body language that expresses the opposite emotion from what the character says, perhaps because she has to hide her true feelings.

"Take your time. I'm happy to stay a bit longer." Mary glanced at her watch.

"Yes, Sir." Mary's fingers clenched around the staff so tightly that her knuckles stood out white. "It will be my pleasure."

ASSIGNMENTS

1. Take the scene you're currently working on. For each character - other than the PoV - identify one emotion. Choose a way to express this with a body language clue. The Thesaurus of Body Language Cues in Chapter 12 has suggestions you can use.

Write a body language sentence for each of the characters, and insert it into the scene, perhaps as a dialogue attribution beat.

2. Observe the body language of strangers. Watch someone - their posture, their gestures, their facial expressions - and conclude how they feel. Write your observations down. Next time you want to show a character with those emotions, you have a ready-made description.

You may want to repeat this exercise whenever you're in a place with several people and have the leisure to take notes. For example, in the dentist's waiting room you may see a woman who clutches her bag close to her chest, frequently shifts in her seat, touches her throat and bites her lips. She's clearly afraid of the dentist. The man next to her keeps tapping his foot, glancing at his watch and frowning at the door of the consulting room. Obviously he's impatient and annoyed that he hasn't been called yet.

You can do your people-watching in railway stations, bus stops, supermarket aisles, laundrettes, coffee shops, pubs, bowling alleys, playgrounds, wherever there are people. Do you have to attend pointless, drawn-out meetings? Use the time constructively by studying body language, gathering cues for eagerness, boredom, and irritation.

Observe, analyse, memorise and keep notes. Just be discreet, and don't stare obviously at anyone. Your subjects must not notice that they're being watched.