Synova Cantrell - Seriously Stupid Criminals

Seriously Stupid Criminals

BY:

Synova Cantrell

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without prior written consent of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations for reviewing purposes.

Unfortunately, these stories are true. Specific names have been eliminated to avoid further embarrassment on their behalf.

For more information check out www.synovaink.com

Printed in the United States of America

Copyright 2017 by Synova Cantrell

Note from Author:

I have spent many years teaching my children that the word stupid is not a nice thing to say about someone. Unfortunately, there is no other way of describing the embarrassing criminal escapades in this narrative. After spending hours searching the internet for the craziest stories, I decided to share the top twenty with you. I hope it brightens your day and makes you chuckle.

- Synova

#1: Meth heads rent their meth lab on AirBnBas a meth lab!

Yes, you read that right. In the town of Manistee, Michigan two men decided to rent out their apartment for the weekend on the popular AirBnB site. The ad was placed online with the heading, cozy little apartment with a working meth lab.

If that wasnt bad enough they also included that they needed to rent their place out for the weekend so they could make out of town deliveries.

Of course, the police were alerted and the pair were arrested. The police found drug paraphernalia, and a delivery truck loaded with 2.5 tons of crystal meth.

Life lesson:

Never advertise your illegal activities online! Better yetdont cook dope people.

#2 Criminals arrested after leaving a trail of macaroni salad for the police.

Three men in Mt. Morris, New York decided to break into a Build-A-Burger restaurant after hours. They stole the cash register, the stores surveillance system, and a large bowl of macaroni salad. Ok. So, I guess they were hungry, because instead of waiting until they got away they took turns eating as they ran off. Unfortunately, they left a trail of noodles behind.

They were quickly apprehended and charged with burglary, larceny, and criminal mischief. I guess you cant be charged for stupidity. Its a good thing. Good grief.

#3 Man shoots himself in the crotch

I honestly didnt believe this one when I first read it. How can someone be so stupid? Really? A man shoots himself in the junk? Amazingly there is more than one report of men doing this while they are strung out on dope.

A man in Washington State decides it is a good idea to binge smoke Meth. Troopers later report that he had smoked over $100 of the hallucinogenic in less than 48 hours.

The 51-year-old man starts freaking out because there are Mexicans in the trees outside his apartment complex, and they are out to kill him. When the Mexican assassins hold his downstairs neighbor hostage in her apartment the man goes all heroic, and decides to save her. He shoves his .45 in the front of his pants, races downstairs and kicks in the door. During this process the gun fires and shoot the man in the crotch.

As if this wasnt humiliating enough the doctors discover during surgery that another bullet had been lodged not far from the mans family jewels, and it looked like it had been there for a while. Ouch!

#4 Man steels 300K pennies

A Pennsylvania businessman always threw his pennies in a steel drum, and after many years he had filled it with over 300,000 coins.

The freight line owner hired a local mechanic to do some repairs and while he wasnt looking the 31-year-old man stole the steel drum of pennies.

The crook struggled to load the 1,600lb steel drum into his Jeep and then took off leaving a trail of pennies behind for the police to follow.

The man was arrested and slapped with $50,000 bail. I guess hell need to steal a few more drums of pennies to cover that.

#5 Criminals attempt to syphon gas from tour bus, and pick the wrong hose.

An out-of-gas Australian decides to syphon gas from a tour bus one evening, but grabs the wrong hose and ends up with a mouthful of sewage. I bet he never tried to steal anything ever again! Ugh.

#6 Woman drives stolen truck to police station to see if its stolen

Yes. Yes. Someone was that stupid. A woman in Fort Smith, Arkansas stole a truck and then drove it to the local Police Station to see if it had been reported stolen.

Of course, she was arrested and could face up to 10 years in prison.

Seriously? This one is so stupid I cant believe it. Why in Heavens name would anyone drive the stolen vehicle to the police station? Insane. It doesnt even say that she was smoking dope. What? This is just the way she is without any drugs or alcohol in her system? Lord help us.

#7 Woman tries to use Xerox copies of $20 bills

A Florida Woman tries to purchase goods at Walmart with photocopied bills, and then runs off when the cashier questions her.

A few days later she pulls the same stunt at Applebees restaurant, but she forgot her cell phone on the table. The police track her down through her phone and arrest her for counterfeiting and drug possession.

#8 A Man robs a gas station while standing in front of policeman

A man decides to rob a local gas station, but what he doesnt notice is that a police officer is waiting in line right behind him.

The 21-year-old walks up to the counter and demands cash. The cashier laughs, puts the cash in a plastic bag, and hands it to the kid.

To make it even worse the entire ordeal was caught on surveillance cameras.

#9 Man drives stolen Hummer to pick up his Welfare check

Somehow a Tennessee man thought it would be a good idea to drive the Hummer he had just stolen to the welfare office to apply for benefits.

Of course, a worker noticed the mans vehicle with out of state tags and called the police. The man was arrested as he exited the local Walmart after spending the Welfare checks.

#10 Man robs a store after filling out a job application

This must be the highest level of stupidity. A man decides to rob the Golden Pantry store, but there are too many customers around. So, to waste time he fills out a complete job application and leaves it with the cashier before coming back a few moments later and robbing the guy.

Of course, the idiot put his real name and address on the application. He was arrested at his apartment a short time later.

#11 Robbers use a sharpie to make masks for robbery

What do you get when you mix an abundance of alcohol with two not so intelligent men? The worst disguises ever, thats what.

In Iowa, a 20-year-old and a 23-year-old decide to break into a neighboring house after a drinking binge. The two men disguised their faces with permanent markers and were so drunk they couldnt even break into the house.

They were later arrested while driving drunk. Seriously? Im sure their mothers are so proud.