Sue Smethurst - 29 Jan

ALSO BY SUE SMETHURST

Behind Closed Doors , with Katherine X

Spartacus and Me , with Vashti Whitfield

A Diamond in the Dust , with Frauke Bolten-Boshammer

BLOOD ON THE ROSARY

First published in Australia in 2019 by

Simon & Schuster (Australia) Pty Limited

Suite 19A, Level 1, Building C, 450 Miller Street, Cammeray, NSW 2062

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Sue Smethurst and Margaret Harrod 2019

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the publisher.

Cover design: Christabella Designs

Cover images: Margaret Harrod and Shutterstock

Cover images: Shutterstock and Margaret Harrod

All photographs courtesy of the Aulsebrook and Harrod families archives

Typeset by Midland Typesetters, Australia

For Rod, Jason and Nicola

The process of healing also needs to include the pursuit of truth, not for the sake of opening old wounds, but rather as a necessary means of promoting justice, healing and unity.

Pope Francis

M argaret Harrods compelling life experience is a truth we all need to understand. Instead of keeping her important lessons to herself, Margaret has courageously told her story a life trauma that can teach us much. Telling her important story comes at an invaluable time after the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse, when as a nation we strived to understand and identify the insidious crime of child sexual assault.

Silenced by her father from the age of two about his sexual assaults, we learn of the resulting paralysis that can last a lifetime. The Catholic Church also took advantage of this paralysis in hiding priestly crimes, but Margaret broke her shackles with a war cry The truth will set me free.

If silence is the poison, then speaking out is the antidote.

A great abyss exists between the recognition of those children who have been sexually assaulted and those who have not. Margaret provides a pathway for us that connects the two; she fills the gulf with words through which we can understand just how easily this crime can happen and what the effects are on a childs mind and will, creating an inability to speak or act to protect themselves just what their perpetrators want.

The invisible crime of child sexual assault purposely and meticulously happens behind closed doors, damages a childs being and causes lifelong consequences.

Margaret teaches us we must look beyond what we see.

If we are to attempt to reduce its prevalence in our society, as adults we must learn and understand how this crime exists and operates in both family homes and institutions. Margaret and her co-author, Sue Smethurst, have provided us with exactly this opportunity.

We must learn so we can protect our loved ones from the sexual predator we know.

Chrissie Foster

Author of Hell on the Way to Heaven , with Paul Kennedy

T here is a special bond that twins share, an ethereal connection that cant be put into words. Margaret Harrod shared that unique bond with her twin brother Michael. As children they were inseparable; joined at the hip their mother would say. At school they sat side by side, as teenagers they shared the same friends, and at 22 they gave their lives to the Catholic Church.

Margaret became a nun and Michael a Salesian priest, much to the delight of their staunchly religious family. Margaret cherishes those memories because today, the brother she adored, Father Michael Aulsebrook, is in jail after being convicted of multiple counts of indecent assault. And the unlikely whistle blower is his courageous twin sister, who fought her church and her community to bring paedophile priests, including her brother, to justice.

The former nun, described by child protection advocates as a true brave heart, has paid a heavy price for her cause, but Margarets only regret is that she didnt find her voice sooner.

Its cost me a lot my church, my family but if Id spoken up when I suspected this was going on, maybe I couldve spared others abuse. Im not brave, its just the right thing to do. Im relieved he can no longer physically hurt anyone else, but the hurt he has caused will stay with me and many others forever.

Father Michael Aulsebrook was once the pride and joy of his family.

My parents considered him almost saintly, Margaret says. The day he became a priest was the happiest day of their lives.

In March 1987, at the age of 31, Michael was ordained at the local Catholic church. As Margaret recalls, no expense was spared for the occasion.

It was a huge celebration. You couldnt wipe the smile off my parents faces. It was such an honour to have a priest in the family.

Margarets brother had begun his clerical life years beforehand, teaching at Rupertswood College in Sunbury, on the outskirts of Melbourne. Brother Michael was popular among students, often buying the young boys treats from the school canteen and spending lunchtimes with them. One victim recalled how his mother was so charmed by the young priest that on his first day of school, she insisted that if he ever had a problem, it was Brother Michael he should see.

Michael quickly rose through the church ranks and was promoted to the role of school deputy principal, but by then alarm bells should have been ringing.

Every school holiday Michael would visit family interstate, often accompanied by a young student, a different boy each time, Margaret recalls. Theyd stay in hotels and I was really disturbed by this. My gut instinct was that it wasnt right, but hed tell us he was giving the boys a break from family troubles and I convinced myself that was okay. I couldnt contemplate that hed be doing anything wrong.

Sadly, Margaret is all too aware of the devastation of sexual abuse. From the age of two, until she was in her early twenties, she was abused by her model church-going father. She joined the convent to escape the trauma, but when she was at her most vulnerable she was abused again, this time by a priest to whom she had finally divulged her darkest secret and to whom she had entrusted her care and recovery.

Like so many victims of sexual abuse, she was overwhelmed by feelings of shame, worthlessness and the betrayal of those who were supposed to protect her.

She even attempted suicide, but the passing words of a fellow teacher one morning saved the young nuns life.

She said, Did you see that program on TV last night about incest? Terrible what has happened to so many innocent children. At that time, I hadnt told anyone about what had happened to me. It was all buried deep down inside, but those few words had a profound effect. It was an acknowledgement that what happened to me was wrong and that it was okay to tell someone. It gave me permission to speak up.

Margaret left the convent soon after and began a lifelong journey of healing, starting with bravely confronting her father, who admitted his actions but argued that it was his way of expressing his love. He wouldnt accept that what he did was wrong.

He said that whatever he did to me was because he loved me. I remember yelling at him, Thats no way to show your love for your daughter.

At times, the pain of her abuse has been too much. Margaret suffered a breakdown and has undergone therapy to deal with crippling post-traumatic stress. But as she was coming to terms with her own abuse, the pieces of another horrific jigsaw puzzle began falling into place.