Tavis Smiley - Before You Judge Me: The Triumph and Tragedy of Michael Jacksons Last Days

On March 5, 2009, in London, England, Michael realizes he must do what he has long sought to avoid. He must announce his decision to return to the stage. At this point he has no choice. Commitments have been made, contracts signed. The deal is sealed. Yet part of him remains uncertain and reluctant. A fifty-year-old single father of three who has devoted himself to his children, he has for the past several years led a highly protected and insular family life. He has not toured since 1997 and not performed since 2006, and then only for a few fleeting moments. Following his dramatic acquittal after a sixteen-week-long trial in the summer of 2005, he and his children have wandered the world in search of a peace that has maddeningly eluded him. Meanwhile, with his finances in catastrophic disarray, he has finally settled upon a solution: a series of ten concerts at the O2 Arena.

And still he isnt sure.

As hundreds of reporters and thousands of fans await his arrival at the press conference inside the O2, Michael paces back and forth in a van outside the arena. He is not ready to face the music or the worldwide media.

He cannot help but remember his last public appearance in London. It was in 2006, during the eighteenth annual World Music Awards. Beyonc introduced him at Earls Court, where he was presented with a Guinness World Record: twenty-four years after its initial release, Thriller was declared the biggest-selling record ever. But what should have been a happy occasion turned sadat least for Michaels fans. Besides joining with a childrens choir to sing a few choruses of We Are the World, Michael did nothing beyond give a brief acceptance speech. His fans had hoped he would perform Thriller. Instead, it was Chris Brown who sang the song. The next day the press eviscerated Michael, who claimed that he had never been scheduled to sing. The negative publicity stung, and now, waiting in the van, Michael wonders whether London is ready to forgive and forget.

This announcement is a turning point. He knows that theres no going back. Hes gone back before. Michael has a history of breaking commitments and canceling shows, followed by floods of legal entanglements. He cant afford to do that again.

This is it is the mantra that sounds inside his head.

This Is It is the actual name hes given the tour. He wants there to be no mistake.

This will be his last public performance.

Ever.

His closest confidants, like his sister Janet, understand who he is and who he will always be: an artist obsessed with art. He is a man who wants nothing more than the freedom to devote himself to making music and other creative endeavors. Live shows are simply too draining. They are repetitive. They reflect his past, not his present, and not his future.

The O2 shows, though, will be different. He will not have to travel. This concert series will take place in one venue and one venue alone. That means he and his children can avoid the exhausting grind of a grueling tour.