Johnston - A Delicious Slice of Johnners

Contents

About the Book

Following Brian Johnstons death in 1994, Prime Minister John Major appeared to speak for the nation when he remarked that Summers will never be the same. To an Englishmans ears, the sound of leather against willow will always be closely associated with the cheerful tones of Johnners.

But there was so much more in his life. From the high jinks of Eton and Oxford he graduated to being a city gent in the family coffee business. Later, as Technical Adjutant in the Grenadier Guards, he contributed to the war effort with his very own Dads Army. Once demobbed in 1945, a broadcasting career was begun that introduced him to a gaggle of British eccentrics from places visited in Down Your Way, and eventually took him to the cramped, cosy and chaotic cricket commentators box where gaffes, terrible jokes and gales of laughter were never far away. Along the way there was a marriage to a very attractive blonde and five children.

Brian Johnston was a man who admitted: I have this absurd hankering to make people laugh. He also summed up his books as the meanderings of a remarkably happy and lucky person, to whom life, like cricket, is a funny game and still a lot of fun. Lovingly edited by his eldest son, Barry, A Delicious Slice of Johnners is a wonderfully enjoyable compendium of three of Johnners best loved books, the autobiographies Its Been a Lot of Fun and Its a Funny Game, and Rain Stops Play.

A DELICIOUS SLICE
OF JOHNNERS

Brian Johnston
Edited by Barry Johnston

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Version 1.0

Epub ISBN 9780753548059

www.randomhouse.co.uk

This paperback edition first published in Great Britain in 2007 by
Virgin Books Ltd

Thames Wharf Studios
Rainville Road
London
W6 9HA

First published in paperback in Great Britain in 2001 by Virgin Books Ltd

First published in hardback in Great Britain in 2000 by Virgin Publishing Ltd

Copyright The Estate of Brian Johnston 2000

Introduction Barry Johnston 2000

The right of Barry Johnston to be identified as the editor of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publishers prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 978 0 7535 0509 0

3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

For Olivia and Sam,
Nicholas, Rupert and Sophie,
Harry, Emily and Georgia

Also by Brian Johnston

Another Slice of Johnners

An Evening With Johnners

Letters Home 19261945

Lets Go Somewhere

Stumped for a Tale

The Wit of Cricket

Armchair Cricket

Its Been a Lot of Fun

Its a Funny Game

Rain Stops Play

Brian Johnstons Guide to Cricket

Chatterboxes

Now Heres a Funny Thing

Its Been a Piece of Cake

The Tale of Billy Bouncer (with Tony Hart)

Brian Johnstons Down Your Way

Forty-Five Summers

Someone Who Was

I Say, I Say, I Say

(with Peter Baxter)

Views from the Boundary
More Views from the Boundary

Acknowledgements

My grateful thanks to all of the following:

Les Bailey for his streaker poem; The Times for the reproduction of an article by Michael Leapman; Mrs Alan Hamilton for her late husbands poem, The Cricketers If; and an unknown lady for her parody of the Crispin Day speech from Shakespeares Henry V.

Introduction

IN SEPTEMBER 1972 my father, Brian Johnston, went off to his holiday home at Swanage in Dorset to relax and to write his autobiography, Its Been a Lot of Fun. He had just retired after twenty-six years as a member of staff at the BBC. He was sixty years old and it seemed likely that his broadcasting career was coming to the end of a long and successful innings. But at an age when most people are contemplating a quiet retirement, Brian went on to achieve his greatest popularity and over the next twenty-one years he became a national institution on radio programmes such as Down Your Way and Test Match Special.

When Brian died in January 1994 at the age of eighty-one, the Prime Minister, John Major, spoke for millions of radio listeners when he said: Summers will never be the same. In the Daily Telegraph Christopher Martin-Jenkins wrote: It is hard to believe that anyone in the history of broadcasting has induced such widespread affection.

Brian Johnston was born on 24 June 1912, the youngest of four children, in the Old Rectory at Little Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire. When he mentioned it to one of his friends in later life, he thought it was highly appropriate. After all, he told Brian, you are a bit of a wreck and we all know what your politics are! His father worked in the Johnston family coffee business in the City and his grandfather had been Governor of the Bank of England in 1909 and 1910, so the family was well established and, to use Brians words, moderately well-off.

Then in 1922, when Brian was ten years old, he saw his father drown in a tragic swimming accident while the family were on holiday at Bude in Cornwall. His mother had to sell their house and the family fortunes took a turn for the worse. There was enough money, however, to send Brian and his two brothers to boarding school. Brian went to Temple Grove Preparatory School in Eastbourne and then to Eton College. He always said that his Eton schooldays were among the happiest times of his life. He was good at sports and played rugby for the school, although he only made the cricket Second XI, much to his eternal disappointment.

He also discovered an ability to make people laugh and for the rest of his life he was unable to resist telling jokes and making the most awful puns. His humour remained firmly of the schoolboy variety. But his theory was that making jokes is rather like batting at cricket. If you hit every half-volley, you are bound to score the occasional boundary. However obvious or corny, he would say, have a bash and sooner or later you will get a laugh!

On leaving Eton, Brian went up to New College, Oxford, where he read history and P. G. Wodehouse and played cricket, although not necessarily in that order. He wanted to go into the theatre, but after pressure from his family he reluctantly joined the family coffee business in the City. He was shipped out to Brazil to learn more about coffee beans, but after eighteen months he became so seriously ill that he nearly died and was sent home.

When war was declared in 1939 Brian joined the 2nd Battalion Grenadier Guards and became a Technical Adjutant. After D-Day he went to Normandy with the Guards Armoured Division and was responsible for the rescue of battle casualties, often from blazing vehicles, and the recovery and repair of the battalions tanks. At the end of the war he was awarded the Military Cross for his inspirational leadership and his untiring determination and cheerfulness under fire. Brian was so modest that he never mentioned it in any of his books.