Lynn K. Hall - Caged Eyes: An Air Force Cadets Story of Rape and Resilience

Compelling, horrifying and yet moving, Caged Eyes gives us a true account of what happens to so many women in the US military, where they are outnumbered, disrespected, and all too often preyed upon. Lynn Halls memoir focuses on one of the most elite institutions in the armed forces, the Air Force Academy, but her tale reflects that of as many as one in three military women throughout the United States. It is a story of misogyny, injustice, and brutality, yet thanks to Halls integrity and resilience, it is also the story of how women have and will fight back.

Helen Benedict, author of

The Lonely Soldier and Sand Queen

Lynn Hall is a powerful writer who tells an epic story. She vividly captures what it means to be raped by a fellow cadetsomeone she considered family. She brings to life, in a deeply personal way, the double betrayal. First she was assaulted by a friend, and then she was silenced by an institution she loved, one that proved sadly incapable of enacting true justice. Hall is an incredibly resilient human being and this is a spectacular book about finding ones voice and speaking out about injustice.

Helen Thorpe, author of Soldier Girls:

The Battles of Three Women at Home and at War

Brave, direct, and unflinching, Hall portrays, with compelling detail, the battle that women fight against sexual violence. Her story is heartbreaking but also honest and inspiring. Her powerful voice makes this an absolutely necessary book, addressing a critically important issue.

Sue William Silverman, author of Because I

Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You

Caged Eyes is an incredible story of a young womans odyssey. As Lynn Hall seeks to fulfill her dream to fly, she confronts unspeakable familial and health roadblocks due to sexual abuse first at home and later while a student in the Air Force Academy. Halls story confronts us with a modern-day pilgrims progress through the sometimes torturous path of growing up female in a mans world. Due to her resilience and the love of friends, this is ultimately a tale of resurrection and hope for women struggling for sexual equality.

Peggy Sanday, author of Fraternity Gang Rape:

Sex, Brotherhood, and Privilege on Campus

As a vulnerable young woman, Lynn Hall encountered a succession of men, and then a prestigious institution, that not only abused her but tried to coerce her into silence. But they did not succeed. This beautiful and inspiring memoir represents the triumph of her voiceand by extension that of countless other victims and survivorsover the actions and inactions of perpetrators and bystanders who might have been able to inflict pain, but who could never hold a candle to her strength of character and moral integrity.

Jackson Katz, PhD, cofounder of Mentors in Violence
Prevention, the first system-wide gender violence prevention
program in the US military, and author of The Macho Paradox:

Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help

Beacon Press

Boston, Massachusetts

www.beacon.org

Beacon Press books
are published under the auspices of
the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations.

2017 by Lynn K. Hall

All rights reserved

Text design and composition by Kim Arney

Many names and other identifying characteristics of people
mentioned in this work have been changed to protect their identities.

Some military terminology has been altered for readability.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Hall, Lynn K., author.

Title: Caged eyes : an Air Force cadets story of rape and resilience / Lynn K. Hall.
Other titles: Air Force cadets story of rape and resilience
Description: Boston : Beacon Press, [2017]

Identifiers: LCCN 2016004391 (print) | LCCN 2016005069 (ebook) |

ISBN 978-0-8070-8933-0 (paperback : alk. paper) | ISBN 978-0-8070-8934-7 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Hall, Lynn K. | United States Air Force AcademyBiography. |
United States. Air ForceWomenBiography. | United States. Air
ForceWomenCrimes against. | Women military
cadetsColoradoBiography. | Women military cadetsCrimes
againstColorado. | Rape victimsUnited StatesBiography. |

RapeColorado. | Sexual harassment in the militaryColorado. | United
States Air Force AcademyHistory21st century. |
MeningitisPatientsBiography.

Classification: LCC UG638.5.M1 H35 2016 (print) | LCC UG638.5.M1 (ebook) |
DDC 362.883092dc23

LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2016004391

For all survivors

In order to allow readers unfamiliar with the military to read this memoir more easily, I have simplified some nonessential terminology and eliminated several acronyms. For instance, instead of referring to the officer who oversees a squadron as air officer commanding or AOC, I have instead chosen to simply call him a commander. Another example is the simplification to call all working units of cadets squadrons, though sometimes they are called flights. The cumulative effect of these changes is a narrative that is slightly less reflective of cadet vernacular, but also one that is more accessible to the uninitiated.

As is true with any memoir, in order to tell a story spanning four years in a very limited number of pages, I have had to omit a great number of events. In making these choices and in recreating some dialogue, I have done my best to honor the factual and emotional truth of my experiences.

What could be more supportive of our fighting women and men than exposing the forces that permit their mistreatment?

Dr. Mic Hunter, Honor Betrayed:

Sexual Abuse in Americas Military

Mitchell Hall felt colossal to me, inspiring yet humbling, like much of the Air Force Academy. It was not just a cafeteria or a chow hall, but rather a dining facility fit for officer candidates of the worlds most dominant military. Like all of the buildings at the Academy, Mitchell Halls outer aluminum frame resembled an airplanes metallic shell. Inside, two-story panoramic windows opened to the snow-covered pine forests blanketing the Rocky Mountain foothills. Air Forceblue tablecloths adorned four hundred rectangular tables arranged in a perfect grid.

We flooded through the doors of Mitchell Hall at the end of the noon meal formation, when awed tourists watched us cadets march to lunch. From the staff tower, a mans voice commanded, Wing, take seats, and all four thousand of us sat in unison. The Air Force Academy bragged that we were the cream of the crop: Americas most driven, disciplined, bright, and honorable young adults, destined for charmed careers, first as Air Force commanders, fighter pilots, or intelligence officers, and later as aerospace engineers, politicians, or generals. A few of us might even reach our most coveted professionastronaut. To prepare us for these future lives, the Academy packed our schedule with academics, athletics, and military training, which demanded no less than eighteen hours of effort each day of our four-year tenure. We were allowed twenty minutes for the noon meal.

It was a Monday in late February 2003, and as an underclassman, I sat at the tables foot. Waitstaff rushed down the aisles, delivering hot dishes. Todays meal: Chicken la King over pasta. I passed the platter to the head of the table so that the seniors could serve themselves first. I sat perfectly still on the front six inches of my chair, back straight, my hands flat in my lap. I focused my eyes on the black eagle at the top of my white, round plate; otherwise, upperclassmen would demand that I cage my eyes. I had not yet earned the privilege of allowing my eyes to stray.