Tala Raassi - Fashion Is Freedom: How a Girl from Tehran Broke the Rules to Change her World

Should I run or should I surrender to the armed men?

I had no time to ponder the impact that question would have on the rest of my life. My adrenaline kicked in, and I made the split-second decision to bolt, with the armed men just seconds behind me. I ran with fear pulsing in my heart behind Neda, who was a few paces behind Maryam. We navigated our way around the traditional two-level house and dashed through the dark, grassy yard, past the covered pool and the neatly lined and stacked yard chairs, then made a break for it out the large white garage door that opened onto a side street.

We only managed to run half a block before Neda started banging on a neighbors door, crying and begging for help. Was this how my life was going to end? Even though I was petrified, I was prepared to make my escape. It was my do-or-die moment. I yelled to Neda at the top of my lungs, Keep running!

I was sprinting through the streets of Tehran in a miniskirt and high heels, which was, in 1998and is still todaydeemed a criminal act in Iran. It would be equivalent to running across Times Square screaming, I have a bomb. I had never been on the streets of Tehran in a miniskirt before. It was so liberating, despite the danger, to feel the crisp December air embrace my legs and arms. I felt invincible, empowered, and equal.

Stop, or I will shoot!

It was too latethey had caught up with us. That fleeting moment of empowerment vanished as quickly as a bolt of lightning when I saw the three men, dressed in khaki pants and long-sleeved, button-down shirts, standing only a few feet away with their long rifles aimed in our direction. We had no choice but to surrender. In that moment, I felt as though I had left my body and was watching this absurd scene from above, two girls standing in the street, with nothing to arm themselves but their high heels. It looked like a revolutionary battle scenethree armed men versus two female warriors, shining under the streetlight, fighting for gender equality. Except it wasnt a fair fight. We already knew who the victors would be.

We raised the white flag. Neda and I slowly walked toward them in silence, our heads down, defeated. Our heels clicking down the street shattered the quiet of the neighborhood in the Alborz Mountains. My lungs and feet were throbbing from my attempted getaway, but I didnt have the option of dwelling on the pain.

A large rifle was pointed at the back of my head. Had I been transported to the set of some action movie? My imagination ran wild with all the possible scenarios that could play out in the next few seconds. In a flash I saw the man shooting me point-blank in the head and had to shake away the mental images of me lying on the ground, bleeding to death, and my parents grieving over my dead body, their faces ashamed at the sight of my miniskirt. I tried to maintain my composure, but my whole body trembled in fear. I felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of me, and I couldnt catch my breath.

The men stared at us in disgust and, muttering malicious words under their breath, directed Neda and me back to Maryams house. One of them screamed louder and louder in my face, Dont you have any shame? Walk faster. Then, with the butt of his rifle, he struck me so hard in the middle of my back that the button of my skirt flew off. I was launched onto the stacked white metal chairs as a bowling ball splitting the pins, fierce and chaotic. He demanded that I stand up. I struggled to rise, like a newborn fawn with wobbly legs. As I made it onto my feet, I looked at Neda in a state of shock. She was shaking, and beads of sweat streamed down her terrified face.

He ordered us to follow him inside the house. I garnered enough strength to walk while holding onto my skirt, so it wouldnt fall to my feet. I immediately spotted my brother, Aria, who was sitting in the living room that just moments before I had considered warm and cozy. I quietly sat down next to him. He sat stiffly, staring down at the ground, and didnt utter a word. Looking around the room, I saw fifteen boys from the party seated on the antique-looking furniture and realized they had already separated the boys from the girls. Before we could say anything, the armed men shouted at Neda and me to move to the other room. I didnt want to be separated from my brother. I wanted him to protect me!

Aria and I locked eyes. His didnt reveal anything. I looked around at my other friends for comfort, but they all shot me the same exact helpless look. Aria nodded his head indicating that I should listen to the men. I had no choice but to obey. Slowly, I walked away from the living room, shaking in my heels, still holding tightly onto my skirt. The maniacal look in the eyes of the intimidating men frightened me. I quickly turned my gaze to the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with any of them.