Amy Ephron - Loose Diamonds: ...and Other Things Ive Lost (and Found) Along the Way

Loose Diamonds

... and Other Things Ive Lost (and Found) Along the Way

Amy Ephron

for Alan

Contents

I always like the windows of antique jewelry stores that say,etched on the glass in old-fashioned letters:

Estate Jewelry,Antiques, Loose Diamonds

Ive never bought loosediamonds but the idea of them appeals to me, sparkling stones that I imaginecome wrapped in a velvet cloth. I also think Loose Diamonds would be agreat name for a racehorse, not that I ever really aspired to own aracehorse but I imagine it would be fun especially if you had a horse thatwon. (Loose Diamonds is a lean ebony horse that runs as fast as thenight.)

Loose Diamonds has also alwaysseemed to me a funny analogy for L.A.an actress waiting for a part, a youngwoman who has a dreamas if theyre all looking for a setting, a permanentsurrounding, in a town thats all about impermanence. And yet, there issomething unsettling about the notion of all those things running aroundloose.

I like jewelry with settings,jewelry with history, jewelry thats right for its time. It always upsets mewhen I walk into a jewelry store and there are antique settings for ringsfrom which the stones have been removed. I cant help but wonder where thediamonds have gone.

Loose diamonds are neverdisplayed in the windows of antique jewelry stores, only stones withsettings, perfect pieces from different periods of timea Victorian necklacewith pale-blue iridescent opals and fresh pearls; a perfect Deco bracelet,industrial and moderne; diamond Cartier watches from the 20s (or morerecently the 60s); beautiful hand-strung pearls, their origin beyondquestionfor sale to anyone who wanders by. Unless you asked, you wouldntknow that in the back of the shop, quite often, settings have been brokendown, the gold melted and sold for scrap, and the loose diamonds waiting forsomeone to come along who wants to give them a new permanentsurrounding.

They say that diamonds cutglass. I dont know. Ive never tried it. If you were to use glass as acanvas and diamonds as a tool, its always seemed like it would be adangerous way to make art. (I believe in art for arts sake but not iftheres personal risk involved.) Diamonds burn at a very high temperature,6,442 Fahrenheitfor comparisons sake, as we know, paper burns at 451Fahrenheitso, Im not sure what kind of explosion would have to occur for adiamond to burn. Since diamonds are entirely made of carbon, they leave noash, just CO, asif theyve vanished into thin air...

LooseDiamonds

W hen I waseight, my friend Jenny and I invented a game. Wed both read The Secret Garden. Next door to my house was a 20sSpanish house edged by a stone wall with an ornate iron gate, hidden from thestreet. One day, armed with silver spoons that we imagined we would use to digup weeds and uncover baby crocuses, we unlatched the gate and sneaked into thegarden next door.

We werent prepared for what we foundit was likesomething you would find in a villa in Puerto Vallarta (not that either one ofus had ever been to Puerto Vallarta). There were ornate hand-painted Mexicantiles set in patterns in the walls and a tiled terrazzo floor (not a silly lawnlike we had next door) and a big fountain that was peaceful and magical, whichwe instantly deemed a wishing fountain. There were perfectly trimmed olive treesand cutouts in the walls with religious statues and concrete friezes, and itexuded the kind of peace and calm you would expect to find in the patio of anItalian church. And we felt like wed discovered something.

But there was also that little rush we felt whenwe opened the door of the garden and snuck in. That afternoon in the Caballerosgarden is the closest Ive ever come to breaking into a house (if it isntempty, that is, and there isnt a For Sale sign on the lawn).

Two years ago, my husband and I came home and ourhouse was in a strange kind of disorder. All the papers on the desk had beenthrown about. There was a black flashlight on one of the white linen couches inthe living room. The fireplace poker was lying on the bed. But the house wasnttrashed exactly and it took us a moment to realize (in fact, my son had beenhome for two hours and hadnt noticed) that the computer was absent from thedesktop and the doors to the little Chinese bedside cabinets were open and... empty and all of the jewelry boxes were gone. And inside them,every single piece of jewelry I had was also gone. Except the few things Idworn out that night and a pair of aquamarine earrings and matching necklace fromTiffanys that Id carelessly left on the counter of the master bathroomsink.

After the police and the police photographerarrivedit was 3 A.M. by nowI suddenly focusedon the fact that the computer was gone from my desk. I dropped to my knees andscreamed, as if I were praying, in true Hollywood fashion: All I want is myspec screenplay back. This rolled over the LAPD, who have clearly seen everyhysterical meltdown known to man, and they just stared at me with glazedeyes.

The police photographer called me the next morning,I didnt want you to think we were all insensitive, he said. Im a Buddhist.But I cant say that around the guys. And Im praying for you.

His prayers (and mine) were heard apparently. Fourdays later, when a new computer had been installed, I checked my email and therewas a message, the gist of which was:

I think I may have bought astolen computer; if you are, in fact, Amy Ephron, please let me know iftheres anything you want on it before I wipe the disc clean.

After a somewhat complicated negotiation thatinvolved begging, tears, and some version of a mild threat, or at least theimplication that something really terrible would happen (to me, if to nobodyelse) if I didnt get my work back, a disc with a copy of my hard drivemiraculously appeared in our mailbox.

But there was still the pesky part of the loss ofall that jewelry; not the monetary loss, even though Id never be able toreplace it due to the price of gold, the scarcity of antique jewelry now, theprecision of each of the pieces. But even if I could replace them, I could neverreplace the tangible memories that each piece held.

The gold stud earrings my mother had given me whenId first had my ears pierced, against her wishes. A conciliatory gesture in away. As she said, If I was going to do it, I wasgoing to wear gold.

The 20s marcasite-and-crystal bracelet, adeconstructionist masterpiece, that I wore religiously like a piece of armor inmy early 20s, given to me by a comedy writer in New York whod just been given ayear-long contract, because writing could be a legitimate way to earn yourkeep.

The pearls I never wore (Im not really a pearlkind of girl), given to me by that guy in New York I was almost engaged to(until he, too, figured out, prompted by his mother, that I wasnt really apearl kind of girl).

The thin, 18-carat Cartier bands from my firstmarriage. Of course, I didnt wear them anymore, but I liked to know that theywere there in a box where they belonged.

The antique emerald and diamond ring my firsthusband gave me on the occasion of my second daughter Annas birthnot showy but(39 hours of labor later) hard-earned and which Id promised Anna I would giveher one day. Apparently not soon enough.

Victorian opal earrings found like a piece oftreasure on a Sunday morning at the Toronto jewelry mart on the pier. I neverwore them in daytime. They were nighttime earrings. All of it gone.

We werent alone. Thered been an epidemic ofburglaries in L.A. Everywhere we went, someone said, Oh, that happened to me.Sherry Lansing and Billy Friedkin were suing ADT home security. Even retiredjudge Diane Wayne and her husband, Ira Reiner, who was the former districtattorney of L.A., had been hit... Diane says the only thingshe misses is one pair of Michael Dawkins earrings that were so comfortable shewore them every day. She says they werent particularly valuable. But she cantreplace them because they were silver and gold and he doesnt make thoseanymore. I wonder if she misses them only becausethey were comfortable or if she misses them because she wore them every day, todinner, to events for her children? She wore them when she was sitting on thebench, and they made her feel as if she was balanced and part of a functioningand protective society.