Eddie Ayres - Danger Music: How teaching the cello to children in Afghanistan led to a self-discovery almost too hard to bear

Destiny is a saddled donkey; he goes wherever you lead him.

PASHTUN PROVERB

Everyones lives continued to follow their own paths, as the earth continues to spin, the roses to bloom, soldiers to battle.

The babies still play their instruments and new violin and cello teachers eventually came to ANIM. The girls ensemble (renamed the Ensemble Zohra), including darling Meena, little Cevinch, rosy-cheeked Negin, poetic Shaperai, supermodel Nazira and green-eyed Marjan, performed at the World Economic Forum in Davos in January 2017.

Laila was given a visa to go to the Yale summer school. She returned to Kabul and is determined to study as an undergraduate at Yale. She applied for 2017 but was turned down. She will apply again. And, if necessary, again.

Hafizah spent some time away from school due to ill health, but eventually returned. She is becoming an excellent conductor and continues to help with the babies. For better or worse, she will always be the mother student.

Yalda returned to school and continues to study, although her back injury makes it very painful to sit for long periods. It is her hope that she will be offered a scholarship and be able to leave Afghanistan.

Jennifer and Alex moved to Bangkok, where Jennifer is taking a Masters in International Development. She receives As in every class.

Shabheer was granted his visa and he and Allegra left Kabul, as hoped, in August 2016. They have settled in Colorado. Allegra won a job as orchestra director at a prestigious school and Shabheer is making plans to start his own business.

Cami returned to Bogot and is teaching and performing while he waits for his US residency to be approved. He then plans to move to Colorado and start a family with his wife.

Shersha and Shazadah stayed working at the Colombian House, now with three more foreign teachers. Shazadah returns to his village often, still their film-star boy. Shershas son Bilal spent time in hospital for his mental health and Shersha continues to make trifle.

Baset raised enough money and in August 2016 took up his place at Interlochen Center for the Arts in Michigan.

Milad and Fayez had their request for asylum approved. They stayed in New York and Milad had one of his pieces performed by the New York Philharmonic Chamber Orchestra, with him playing percussion. He is the first ever Afghan to play with the New York Philharmonic.

Shaheer made his way to Denmark, where he lives in a refugee camp. The possibility remains that he will be forcibly returned to Afghanistan.

Sama won a scholarship to study for a Masters in Business Management in India. She plans to return to Kabul, and she will keep her word.

Parwana is engaged to be married. Unlike Sama, it is what she always wanted.

Wais eventually left ANIM; he never developed the same friendship with the new foreign teachers as he had with us. He is working as a taxi driver and general dude around Kabul. Wais will always find a way through traffic and a way through the world.

Four of Farkhundas murderers were sentenced to death and eight others given long prison sentences, including the mullah who made the original accusations. Eleven police officers were sentenced to a year in jail for not protecting Farkhunda. A few months later, an appeals court reduced all the death sentences to prison sentences. A panel of lawyers recommended the killers be retried. A trial date is yet to be set.

Pancha went to live with a friend of Jennifers and killed his kitten. An Afghan to her core. She moved in with yet another friend who runs a Cambodian restaurant (yes, you read that correctly). I think about her every time I see another dog. Pancha was perfect.

And Atesh. That green-eyed puppy, he is nearly a man. He remains at ANIM, soaking in everything he can to make himself a better musician. I write to him regularly. Atesh always said that he never wanted to leave Afghanistan, but he has now changed his mind. I dream of him coming to Australia, to realise the musician that is within him.

Dr Sarmast still leads ANIM. He continues to be Afghanistans musical warlord.

Afghanistan is slowly fading for me. My only glimpses of Afghanistan now are at a restaurant or in a news report or a snatch of music.

Afghanistan is a mirror. It shows you who you truly are. I miss it every day, but I know now that it is all right to love somewhere and leave it. We all have our own path and must follow it, at our peril. Leaving Kabul was like leaving the best bits of me behind, bits I had just found. Now Ill have to look for them in a new place.

When foreigners depart from Afghanistan they often leave behind a few possessions in silver aluminium boxes, hoping they may return, but knowing in their heart they never will.

In my silver box, I left Emma.

Iftar at the Mexican house. From left to right: Shabheer, Cami, Allegra, Jennifer, and Shaheer stroking Fatty. Who knows what Nacho is up to at the back.

Two new besties. A rest on a motorbike ride up TV Hill, in the middle of Kabul.

I like to think of this as my Bride of ISIS portrait. Then again, Id rather not.

Hanging at home on a Friday. Finally, with my new chest, I can try to rock a James Dean look. Its a work in progress. (Photographer: Andrew Quilty)

On my bike on the way to a boxing match. Andrew Quilty spent the whole day sitting backwards on Alexs bike to take photos of me for Good Weekend magazine. That man is a genius with very, very good balance. (Photographer: Andrew Quilty)

Allegra in down-face dog pose. Eidie, our yoga master, is taking a paws-on approach to coaching.

Pancha. Pancha was perfect.

Waiss gun at lunch. Delicious with a fresh tomato salad.

Azizas gift on my whiteboard one morning.

Cami, Nacho and Jennifer before the British Charity Ball. Nacho declined his invitation to go, despite clearly wearing the correct colours.