P.R. Newton - And Then My Uterus Fell Out: A memoir on life with pelvic organ prolapse

AND THEN MY UTERUS FELL OUT

A memoir on life with pelvic organ prolapse

by P.R. Newton

Copyright 2013 P.R. Newton

ISBN: 978-0-9920232-5-6

ABOUT - AND THEN MY UTERUS FELL OUT

A brutally honest, and at times pee your pants funny, tale about one womans journey through motherhood with a condition that affects approximately half of all females, pelvic organ prolapse.

This moving memoir is one womans inspirational story about the traumatic birth of her first child and subsequent diagnosis of the chronic condition, pelvic organ prolapse. Wrapped within an engaging account of living with prolapse is an insightful glimpse into what it means to be a mother battling chronic pain, embarrassing side effects, and depression in a society that often idealizes motherhood as a time of bliss and joy, and dismisses this embarrassing, and often debilitating, condition.

Inspiration for her healing comes from the most unlikely of places, the heart-wrenching struggles of women in the developing world. A startlingly honest, elegant, and often humorous depiction of life with pelvic organ prolapse, And Then My Uterus Fell Out, calls out to all women around the world who suffer in silence with a life-affirming message of dignity, hope, and sisterhood.

NOTE

In putting together this work of non-fiction, I have recreated conversations and situations to the best of my ability using my journals, memory, and conversations with loved ones. I have chosen to use pseudonyms.

INTRODUCTION

This book is about something millions of women suffer from but no one wants to talk about: pelvic organ prolapse - commonly known as POP or, simply, prolapse. A condition where a womans pelvic organs slip out of place, causing all sorts of grief.

During the process of putting this story on paper, I decided to be brutally honest and use words that would make your momma choke on her afternoon tea. I talk about the uterus, cervix, bladder, and - OMG - the rectum! This book also talks about bowel movements, going pee, menstrual cycles and, yup, the down and dirty, sex.

My mother is so proud!

According to the American Urogynecologic Society (AUGS), pelvic organ prolapse affects more than half of all women. In most cases it occurs later in life; but not always. Not in my case. The lifetime risk that a woman will have surgery for the correction of prolapse or urinary incontinence in the United States is about 11%.

Many women will never admit to having issues with bladder control or prolapse. The shame, fear, and lack of knowledge are just too great. Or perhaps they see it as a natural part of aging. But the trend is changing. Women no longer want to go placidly into old age. They want to fight it, keeping their bodies fit and active well past menopause. But when your internal organs start making a sprint for the light, it can make those dreams seem impossible to achieve.

What has happened to my body is absurd in so many ways. This was definitely not in any sex ed classes. I find humor has been a great tool during my healing. Not that I am healed, prolapse is an ongoing condition, but I am in a good place. A place I will share more about later.

A surprising thing happened as I put pen to paper for my story; I discovered that my journey has been about far more than pelvic organ prolapse. It is also about grief, depression and the struggles of motherhood. To share only one facet of my journey would have been like painting only a corner of the canvas. Even if you do not suffer from prolapse, I hope you will find some universal truths in my story that all mothers share.

I have divided my story into five parts. Part one is about my life before I developed prolapse, when I lived in complete ignorance about the frailty of my womanly parts. Part two covers the first year following my sons birth, when my life was irrevocably changed and my future was an unknown entity that filled me with fear. Part three covers a period of three years when I explored surgery and struggled to come to terms with the fact that I was facing a permanent disability as I tried to parent two young boys. Part four talks about how I took control of my life and started living again. Finally, part five talks about what it has been like living with prolapse over the past eight years, what life looks like today, and where I see myself going in the future.

Not comfortable talking about your womanly parts? No worries; I will do all the talking. Im committed to sharing my story with brutal honesty. So pour yourself a cuppa, or maybe something stiffer (it helps with the humor bit), sit back and relax. Thank you for joining me on this journey.

WHAT IS PELVIC ORGAN PROLAPSE?

I suspect that most of my readers will be familiar with this condition, but just in case you are new to prolapse, I will provide a brief summary. This book is not a self-help book or guide to pelvic organ prolapse; it is simply my story of living with this condition for eight years. As with any medical condition, if you have concerns about your own body or health consult your doctor or, better yet, find a pelvic floor specialist.

Now back to POP. What is it?

People have written whole books to answer this question, but to keep it in the simplest terms, it is when the pelvic organs - such as the bladder, uterus and rectum - slip down from their proper positions.

Statistics for POP vary, but the most commonly used statistic is that 50% of women will develop pelvic organ prolapse during their lifetime. Many women develop some degree of prolapse following vaginal deliveries. This type is usually temporary and experiences a significant amount of spontaneous healing. The other type of POP is permanent, most commonly occurring in women after menopause. But not always. Not in my case, and not in the case of a surprisingly high number of women I have met over the years.

And yet, with all these women suffering, most people have never heard of pelvic organ prolapse. Why? Well because most women suffer in silence. That is one of the main reasons I decided to share my story. I dont understand why no one is talking and I think it is time to break the silence. The depression, grief, and shame associated with this condition are only made worse by a feeling of loneliness. My goal in sharing my story is that women suffering from prolapse will not feel so alone.

I am far from the first to try and break the silence. There are a number of people out there dedicated to making this topic heard. If you need help, please look. Help is out there. I am simply adding my voice in a way I think will be helpful, by sharing my personal story. I am not a medical professional. I am simply a woman learning how to live in a new body I inherited through a series of unfortunate events.

POP is not just a postpartum or old lady condition. It can happen to women at almost any age, from teenagers to seniors. Although the number one cause is vaginal birth, many other things can cause prolapse as well. Pregnancy (with delivery by C-section) can still result in prolapse, especially if the C-section is done after labor has started. Other causes include chronic constipation, weight lifting or lifting heavy weights repeatedly, impact exercises (like running or gymnastics), poor diet, obesity, long lasting cough (from asthma or smoking), trauma or injury, disease or tumors, and connective tissue disorders, just to give a few examples.

There are many ways pelvic organs can prolapse, or fall down towards the vaginal opening. In general, the issue is not actually with the organs but instead with the connective tissues, muscles, tendons and ligaments, stretching or becoming damaged and therefore are unable to hold the organs in place.