coll. - Trump : The Good, The Bad & The Quotable

In an election season when predictable rhetoric abounds and debates are substitutes for sleeping pills, where the spineless, humorless, and faceless limp along in the scramble for the presidency, only one man truly stands above the herd. His name: Trump. Donald Trump. With his blunt honesty, devastating wit, and endless comebacks, Trump is what no other politician dares to behumorous. In his honor, we gathered over two hundred of his best quoteson everything from women (he likes most of them, he really does) to the American Dream (his life). We sprinkled in quotes from his favorite foes about him, and a few words from shrinks analyzing his mind. More than any biography, Trump in his own words amply defines the real man, unvarnished, uninhibited, and unbelievable.

For the 99% this 99-cent pamphlet is all you need.

For the rest of you, if he makes it all the way to the White House, well publish a commemorative edition in leather with his name embossed in gold.

The Beyond Books Editors

Beauty and elegance, whether in a woman, a building, or a work of art is not just superficial or something pretty to see.

Donald Trump, Trump 101: The Way to Success (New Jersey: Wiley John and Sons, 2006).

That must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees.

Donald Trump, Celebrity Apprentice: All Stars , NBC, 2013.

For a man to be successful he needs support at home, just like my father had from my mother, not someone who is always griping and bitching. When a man has to endure a woman who is not supportive and complains constantly about his not being home enough or not being attentive enough, he will not be very successful, unless he is able to cut the cord.

Donald Trump, Trump: The Art of the Comeback (New York: Times Books, 1997).

I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?

Donald Trump, quoted in Anthony Savignano, After the Gold Rush, Vanity Fair , September 1990.

You know, it doesnt really matter what [the media] write[s] as long as youve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.

Donald Trump, quoted in Harry Hurt III, Donald Trump Gets Small, Esquire , 1991.

My favorite part [of Pulp Fiction ] is when Sam has his gun out in the diner and he tells the guy to tell his girlfriend to shut up. Tell that bitch to be cool. Say: Bitch be cool. I love those lines.

Donald Trump, quoted in Timothy OBrien, TrumpNation: The Art of Being The Donald (New York: Time Warner, 2005).

All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with meconsciously or unconsciously. Thats to be expected.

Donald Trump and Meredith McIver, Trump: How To Get Rich (New York: Random House, 2004).

Its certainly not groundbreaking news that the early victories by the women on The Apprentice were, to a very large extent, dependent on their sex appeal.

Donald Trump and Meredith McIver, Trump: How To Get Rich (New York: Random House, 2004).

You know whos one of the great beauties of the world, according to everybody? And I helped create her. Ivanka. My daughter Ivanka. Shes six feet tall, shes got the best body. She made a lot money as a modela tremendous amount.

Donald Trump, The Howard Stern Show, 2003.

... she does have a very nice figure. Ive said if Ivanka werent my daughter, perhaps Id be dating her.

Donald Trump, The View , ABC, March 6, 2006.

Women have one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones act very feminine and needy, but inside they are real killers. The person who came up with the expression the weaker sex was either very naive or had to be kidding. I have seen women manipulate men with just a twitch of their eyeor perhaps another body part.

Donald Trump, Trump: The Art of the Comeback (New York: Times Books, 1997).

Marla was always wanting me to spend more time with her. Why cant you be home at five oclock like other husbands? she would ask. Sometimes, when I was in the wrong mood, I would give a very materialistic answer. Look, I like working. You dont mind traveling around in beautiful helicopters and airplanes, and you dont mind living at the top of Trump Tower, or at Mar-a-Lago, or traveling to the best hotels, or shopping in the best stores and never having to worry about money, do you?

Donald Trump, Trump: The Art of the Comeback (New York: Times Books, 1997).

26,000 unreported sexual assaults in the militaryonly 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?

Donald Trump, Twitter post, May 7, 2013, 4:04 p.m., twitter.com/realDonaldTrump.

There was blood coming out of [Megyn Kellys] eyes, blood coming out of her... wherever.

Donald Trump, CNN Tonight, CNN, August 7, 2015.

Look at [Carly Fiorinas] face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?!... I mean, shes a woman, and Im not sposedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?

Donald Trump, quoted in Paul Solotaroff, Trump Seriously: On the Trail With the GOPs Tough Guy, Rolling Stone , September 9, 2015.

While @BetteMidler is an extremely unattractive woman, I refuse to say that because I always insist on being politically correct.

Donald Trump, Twitter post, October 28, 2012, 8:59 p.m., twitter.com/realDonaldTrump.

@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a manhe made a good decision.

Donald Trump, Twitter post, August 28, 2012, 7:54 a.m., twitter.com/realDonaldTrump.

Rosie ODonnell is disgustingboth inside and out. If you take a look at her, shes a slob. How does she even get on television? If I were running The View , Id fire Rosie. Id look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers and say, Rosie, youre fired. Were all a little chubby, but Rosies just worse than most of us. But its not the chubbinessRosie is a very unattractive person, both inside and out.