MelindaJoy Mingo - The Colors of Culture: The Beauty of Diverse Friendships

W e are living during a time in our society when fear and mistrust among people of different racial groups are becoming the norm rather than the exception. Acknowledging that there has been a huge resurgence of racism, discrimination, and individual prejudices is difficult and even baffling at times. The cultural divide appears to be expanding rather than shrinking. Although we have made great strides in learning how to connect with people beyond our discomforts and fears and to see others as God sees them, as people of value and worth, if we are honest, there is still much work to be done.

Cultural mistrust does not only come from our obvious differences such as race or lifestylehow we treat each other as individuals and our perception of each other both play a role as well. At a recent town hall meeting in my city to discuss what steps we can take to understand each other better, a young woman stated, I thought we were past all this divisive stuff. I just think we have fear of each other and we have to learn how to trust and respect each other again.

It was an uncomfortable meeting, with raw conversations centered on the role of law enforcement in our city and the mistrust among communities of color due to both national and local events involving blacks and community policing. A courageous conversation took place in a room filled with people who barely knew each other but wanted to begin the necessary process to move beyond shallow words and mistrust to building bridges instead of walls.

That one meeting has initiated many more in our city, and friendships have formed between the most unlikely people. They would never have happened without people being willing to take steps to pursue understanding each other.

While we do have some heartbreaking problems happening daily in our society regarding interactions between diverse populations, it is my belief that we have solutions that will take courage to move beyond our places of comfort. But these solutions are not as complicated as we make them. What can we do? We can learn to see every human being from Gods perspective as persons of worth, value their lived experiences even when we dont understand them, and cultivate genuine relationships based on humility, vulnerability, and transparency.

If we are not willing to get real about our own heart issues with people from different cultures and backgrounds, and if we dont allow God to bring healing, nothing will change in our lives or in the lives of those we interact with daily. Sometimes its easier to ask Jesus to change the situations around us rather than transform ourselves and allow the change to begin within us.

Almost every African Bantu dialect includes the saying, I am because we are, which is captured by the term Ubuntu. The word literally means human-ness and roughly translates to human kindness. The concept of Ubuntu is that, no matter our differences, we as human beings can connect with one another through sharing our life experiences, stories, and humanity. We all have stories from our journeys in life, and our stories and lived experiences are the heart of who we are. And even though our life stories do not always connect with the stories of others, they are an important summation of our personal experiences, of why we believe as we do, and ultimately of our frame of reference and our perspective of others.

My first introduction to the term Ubuntu came through a fascinating picture of a group of people with linked arms running together to get a small basket of sweet treatsjust enough treats for one person, really. A caption explained that the group had been told that the person who reached the basket first would get the treats. When they were asked why they ran together instead of individually, their response was, Ubuntuhow can one of us be happy if the other ones are sad? I was still puzzled about why they would run together when there was only one prize and why that would make them genuinely happy. I also wondered what that all had to do with culture and relationships.

I finally got the message when I read the following words by Archbishop Desmond Tutu, which are a rich description of how we should ultimately connect with any person from any culture.

It is the essence of being human. It speaks of the fact that my humanity is caught up and is inextricably bound up in yours. I am human because I belong. It speaks about wholeness, it speaks about compassion. A person with Ubuntu is welcoming, hospitable, warm and generous, willing to share.

• Such people are open and available to others, willing to be vulnerable, affirming of others, do not feel threatened that others are able and good, for they have a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that they belong in a greater whole. They know that they are diminished when others are humiliated, diminished when others are oppressed, diminished when others are treated as if they were less than who they are. The quality of Ubuntu gives people resilience, enabling them to survive and emerge still human despite all efforts to dehumanize them.