Milkyway Media - Analysis of Tara Brachs Radical Acceptance by Milkyway Media

Analysis

of

Tara Brachs

Radical Acceptance

Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha

by

Milkyway Media

Table of Contents

Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha (2003) by Tara Brach is a self-help book grounded in Buddhist teachings and practices. Western society is trapped in a cycle in which people constantly critique themselves and question their self-worth. Brach proposes radical acceptance as an antidote in which an individual abandons the inner critic and embraces difficult emotions without judgment.

People crave a sense of permanence, but the nature of everything, including life itself, is transient. Often, people compensate for impermanence in dysfunctional ways. They might develop compulsive desires for things like drugs and shopping. Theres an inherent contradiction in how society promotes vices like shopping by encouraging consumerism while at the same time labeling them as undesirable.

Emotional suffering is a universal experience, but people often mistakenly believe that it is a secret personal burden. Repressing bad feelings and experiences can lead to serious behavioral and interpersonal problems. Radical acceptance, on the other hand, can help an individual address or avoid these problems.

People often confuse negative emotions with personal flaws. They believe they should be in control of emotions. When they cant manipulate those emotions as they think they should, they feel inadequate. Its normal to experience negative states of mind, even if, on a personal level, it feels wrong. The key to overcoming these issues is to confront dark thoughts head-on, but a much more common tendency is to resist them. Negative emotions that are repressed, ignored, or otherwise not addressed leave the body in a perpetual state of high alert, which is bad for ones health.

Radical acceptance consists of two major elements: clarity and compassion. Clarity can be gained by training the mind through meditation and mindfulness. Compassion is cultivated by offering other people, and oneself, unconditional positive regard. It also arises from practicing kindness, either formally through lovingkindness meditation, or informally by embracing negative feelings with a sense of openness. It may be helpful to think of the Sanskrit entity Mara as fear personified. To extend the analogy, instead of shunning Mara or denying his existence, its better to show kindness and welcome him to tea.

One Buddhist practice thats helpful for cultivating perspective is vipassana. It requires pausing or taking a brief time out to gain insight and spiritual focus, especially when a wave of emotion crests. In a moment of sadness or anger, one might feel tempted to act out. Pausing provides a moment to reflect on how to act with intention, instead of merely reacting in the heat of the moment.

Generally speaking, emotions should be observed and noted, rather than analyzed. One way to gain critical distance from an emotion is to scan the body for physical symptoms the emotion may be causing. For example, people who are angry might observe that their face is hot, or someone whos depressed might feel a heaviness in the chest. Creating bodily awareness can be a helpful meditative exercise, even in the absence of intense emotion.

One of the most difficult emotions to deal with is fear. Many people live in a state of constant fear without realizing it, or without understanding the fears source. This, too, can negatively impact the human body. Buddhism teaches that the three refuges are a good means of counteracting fear. These refuges are, roughly translated, awareness, nature, and community. Different refuges appeal to different people. Some may take more comfort in nature, for instance, where others find solace in social activities.

Radical acceptance may seem difficult or unnatural at first, particularly for people who live in the United States, but it becomes easier with practice. Everyone has the capacity for serenity, kindness, and wisdom. With simple mindfulness techniques, some of lifes greatest challenges may ultimately inspire a sense of personal freedom and interconnectedness with other people, and, more generally, with the universe.

1. Radical acceptance is the key to spiritual fulfillment and living well. Conversely, denial leads to emotional dysfunction and other forms of psychological distress.
2. The best way to rid oneself of fear is to face it directly. Repressing or ignoring fear tends to make it worse.
3. The most powerful fear is death, the source from which all other fears originate.
4. Self-care rituals are important for good mental health and spiritual well being.
5. Compassionate gestures that feel empty at first may inspire true compassion over time.
6. Motivational mantras and other forms of self-talk can help promote radical acceptance.
7. People focus too much on the prospect of a better future. Its better to fully inhabit the present moment.
8. Meditation and mindfulness are more than just Buddhist practices. They are also effective tools in psychological treatment.

Radical acceptance is the key to spiritual fulfillment and living well. Conversely, denial leads to emotional dysfunction and other forms of psychological distress.

Analysis

Radical acceptance is the practice of confronting things as they are rather than dwelling on how they could or should be. Many of modern societys ills stem from peoples inability to accept the world, and themselves, with real honesty. They delude themselves into thinking they are in control of emotions, which are more like an external force of nature. People cant control jealousy, for instance, any more than they can control whether or not it will rain tomorrow.

To extend the analogy, most people wouldnt be keen to leave the warmth of their homes during a rainstorm. Still, rain is a fact of life. Denying its existence isnt going to make walking outside during a downpour any more tolerable or pleasant, and no one can simply wish the rain away. Radical acceptance doesnt require passivity or inaction; it doesnt require getting drenched. Its more a matter of looking out the window, accepting the fact of rain, and perhaps equipping oneself with an umbrella.

In Buddhism, radical acceptance involves a similar approach. Say, for instance, a woman feels jealous of a friends expensive home. Most people dont want to feel jealous; it isnt a pleasant or admirable emotion. Still, jealousy is a fact of life. Radical acceptance, for the jealous woman, would involve recognizing her own negative feelings instead of ignoring or suppressing them out of guilt or shame. Acceptance will likely lead to a sense of release, during which her jealous feelings will dissipate.

The best way to rid oneself of fear is to face it directly. Repressing or ignoring fear tends to make it worse.

Analysis

One of the central tenets of Buddhism is to embrace difficult emotions, especially fears. In Western culture, its more common for people to avoid or deny a fear than to confront it. This approach is counterproductive because ignoring a fear can make it worse. Though it may seem counterintuitive, the only way to purge oneself of fear is to fully engage with the emotion. The best way to engage with an emotion is to pause, which allows for a moment of reflection.

Fears are often hidden away in peoples inner lives, where they play out silently. These fears can be somewhat abstract, such as a worry about contracting a disease or losing a job. For a Buddhist, embracing fear is typically a private matter, even if it involves talking to a therapist or doing guided meditation, as it is a process that unfolds in the realm of thoughts and feelings,