BusinessNews Publishing - Summary: How to Win Friends and Influence People: Review and Analysis of Carnegies Book

Book Abstract

Dealing with people is probably the biggest challenge everybody faces no matter what their occupation, goals or ambitions. By applying the principles contained in this book, you can increase your confidence, your influence and your effectiveness. You will learn how to get others working alongside you instead of pulling in their own direction. By taking the time and effort to learn how to better interact with people around us, we increase our ability to do anything we want to do.

Important Note About This Ebook

This is a summary and not a critique or a review of the book. It does not offer judgment or opinion on the content of the book. This summary may not be organized chapter-wise but is an overview of the main ideas, viewpoints and arguments from the book as a whole. This means that the organization of this summary is not a representation of the book.

Part 1: Fundamental Techniques In Handling People

Main Idea

When you get the urge to criticize someone, stop and try to figure out why they say the things they do. Criticism never achieves a positive result.

Supporting Ideas

People never criticize themselves, but always rationalize that they are forced to act the way they do by factors beyond their control. Criticism is futile because it immediately puts the other person on the defensive.

Criticism is also dangerous as it fosters resentment that can smolder for years and come back to haunt us at the worst possible moment. In the long run, the short term satisfaction is not worth the long term pain.

Many studies show that people respond more completely to positive rewards than to negative scolding. Whenever you get the urge to correct someone through criticism, start on yourself. From a purely selfish point of view, youll gain much more.

People are creatures of logic, not reason. People are filled with passions, prejudices and contradictions. Why try to deal with a matter of emotion through the logic of reason. It just wont work.

Key Thoughts

God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.

Dr. Johnson

Dont complain about the snow on your neighbors roof when your own doorstep is unclean.

Confucius

A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.

Carlyle

Main Idea

People dont have many wants, but what they want deep down they crave with all their hearts. Herein lies the key in dealing with other people - find out what it is they really want and show them how to get it. Do this for a person and they will move mountains for you.

Supporting Ideas

If our ancestors had not had a burning desire for a feeling of importance, civilization would have been impossible - we would be acting just like animals. If we can find out from what source a person draws their own personal feeling of importance, we have the key to their character.

Can you imagine the power that you hold in your control when you give people heart-felt appreciation and recognition. Correctly used, these people become highly motivated to help us do anything we want. Flattery is a pale shadow of honest appreciation, and people see right through it. The difference between flattery and appreciation is that flattery comes from the teeth out while appreciation comes from the heart. Flattery is telling the other person exactly what he wants to hear.

Key Thoughts

Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.

Emerson.

If you try, you can work out the good points in every person who crosses your path. All it takes is a bit of effort and the right attitude.

I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

Anonymous

I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.

- Charles Schwab, one of the most successful American businessmen of the 1930s.

Years ago, a teacher in Detroit asked Stevie Morris to help her find a mouse that was lost in the classroom. She knew Stevie had a marvelous gift of hearing to compensate for his blindness. This was the first time Stevie was shown appreciation for his gift, and it was the beginning of a new life for him. He went on to become Stevie Wonder, one of the most successful singers and songwriters of all time. And it all began with a little appreciation.

Main Idea

A key principle is to talk in terms of what they want, to see things the way they see them.

Supporting Ideas

When you go fishing, you dont put strawberries and cream on the hook. You use something that fish like a worm.

Every act every person performs is because of some desire -something they want. Therefore, if youre smart, instead of talking in terms of what you want, always talk in terms of what your listener wants. You can get anything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want out of life. Next time you set out to get someone else to do something, stop and ask yourself;

How can I make this person want to do it for themselves.

Find the answer to that and you are well on your way to influencing that person.

Sales people fail when they are thinking of only what they want. They dont realize that nobody wants to buy anything, as if they did, they would go out and buy one. But everybody is eternally interested in solving their problems, and if a salesperson can show us how to do that with a product, we wont need to be sold. Well rush out and buy one. If you always try to see things from the other persons point of view, from their angle, you wont have much competition in any sales career.

Whenever we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, let them cook and stir the idea themselves. They will then regard it as their own, they will like it and eat a couple of helpings.

Key Thoughts

Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.

William Winter.

Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire...and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is First arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.

Harry A Overstreet

If there is any one secret of success it lies in the ability to get the other persons point of view and see things from that persons angle as well as from your own.

Henry Ford

People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.