Jill S. Zimmerman Rutledge - Prom: The Big Night Out

In Loving Memory of Harold Ettinger and Shelley Rodin Buntman, dear high school friendsJ.Z.R.

Acknowledgments: Thank you to Susan Cohen; Domenica Di Piazza; Sandy Shanken Woycke; Betty and Garfield Rawitsch; The 10 Twenty-somethings; and as always and forever, to Bob

Text copyright 2017 by Jill S. Zimmerman Rutledge

All rights reserved. International copyright secured. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout the prior written permission of Lerner Publishing Group, Inc., except for the inclusion of brief quotations in an acknowledged review.

Twenty-First Century Books

A division of Lerner Publishing Group, Inc.

241 First Avenue North

Minneapolis, MN 55401 USA

Main body text set in Adrianna 11/15.

Typeface provided by Chank.

For reading levels and more information, look up this title at www.lernerbooks.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Zimmerman Rutledge, Jill S., author.

Title: Prom / by Jill S. Zimmerman Rutledge, LCSW.

Description: Minneapolis, MN : Twenty-First Century Books, 2017. | Audience: Grade 9 to 12. | Audience: Age 13 to 18. | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016009114 (print) | LCCN 2016020367 (ebook) | ISBN 9781512402674 (lb : alk. paper) | ISBN 9781512428506 (eb pdf)

Subjects: LCSH: Proms--Juvenile literature.

Classification: LCC GV1746 .Z55 2017 (print) | LCC GV1746 (ebook) | DDC 793.3/808837318--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016009114

Manufactured in the United States of America

1-39045-21037-5/3/2016

9781512439175 ePub

9781512439182 ePub

9781512439199 mobi

Contents

Introduction
A Prom Story

Chapter One
As Times Go By: Proms of the Past

Chapter Two
Modern Times: Proms from the Millennium to the Present

Chapter Three
The Dress, the Tux: Clothes Tell a Story

Chapter Four
Making a Difference: Proms with Heart and Soul

Chapter Five
Twenty-Somethings: Tips for a Fun, Safe Prom

Afterword
Creating Your Own Prom

Introduction
A Prom Story

B efore cell phones had cameras and before Instagram, communication between girls regarding their prom looks had much room for confusion, misunderstandings, and forgetfulness. So once upon a time, a few weeks before her prom, a lovely teen girl found a dress that she absolutely loved. She was extremely happy and told her BFF about the dress. She described her dress in much detail and told her friend that she had bought it at Saks Fifth Avenue. From that exciting conversation, her friend remembered that the dress was green.

A few days later, the friend went shopping for her own prom dress at Saks Fifth Avenue with her mom. The friend found a dress that she absolutely loved. The dress had a long white skirt and a green and white bodice. The dress looked very nice on her, and her mom liked it too. Even though the dress had some green in it, she did not think that it was the same dress as her BFFs. So she didnt think twice about buying it.

You can probably guess what happened. The two friends showed up at prom in the same dress. And the embarrassed friend, who felt guilty about her mistake for years, was me.

Decades later, my BFF Sandy and I laugh about this. Sometimes we even buy the same clothes intentionallya long, lavender linen skirt; a navy top; and numerous pieces from a favorite designer. Weve transformed our prom drama into a life-long bond. Somehow the whole experience has become hilarious and will forever be a thread in the tapestry of our friendship. We have many of our clothes hanging in our respective closets. Now, its fun to buy the same dress.

.........................

As I start to write this book, it is prom season. Social media and cell phones are alive with images of fancy dresses, tuxedos, shoes, and bags. The mistake I made would be unlikelyand probably unforgivabletoday, as teens have myriad ways to share their prom looks to ensure that not one of their friends will look like them on their big night out. A girls choice of clothing, shoes, hair, and makeupand her dates often complementary choice of clothing, hair, and accessoriesis a special statement: This is me, and this is what I am wearing to express myself at my prom.

Twenty-first-century proms have a uniqueness that sets them apart from proms of past generations, where teens worked hard to fit in. So whether you are looking forward or backward to your first high school prom, I hope this book gives you a fun glimpse into the history of proms, from the first proms of the late nineteenth century to the proms of the new millennium.

Chapter One
As Times Go By:
Proms of the Past

P eople married young in the nineteenth century. Marriages of couples who were in their twenties were the norm. But young men and women from the American upper class couldnt marry just anyone. Rigid social rules of the time dictated that they must marry within their social class. To make sure their children were suitably matched in matrimony, upper-class American parents presented their daughters of marriageable age to society through the rite of a grand ball. Usually in their mid to late teens, girls made their debut, or their launch into society, at these formal parties, where they could meet male suitors appropriate to their social class. The balls were called debutante or cotillion balls, and one of the first was held in Savannah, Georgia, in 1817.

Debutante balls were common in nineteenth-century America as a way for upper class families to introduce their daughters to potential marriage partners. The balls, also known as cotillion balls or coming-out parties, are still held in some parts of the United States.

By the early twentieth century, debutante balls were common in American upper-class society. Newspapers and magazines, such as Ladies Home Journal and Harpers Bazaar , covered the events. These media piqued the curiosity of middle-class girls and their mothers who were interested inand even sometimes obsessed withpictures of the gorgeous gowns and hairstyles of the debutantes. The media also exposed the American female middle class to the debutantes poise and to proper social manners, which were considered chic and glamorous at the time. In fact, the eras etiquette expert, Emily Post, wrote a book, Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home , that included a long chapter about proper social manners at debutante balls. For example, Post advised girls on how to politely let a boy know that they did not want to dance with him.

Like upper-class parents in the early twentieth century, middle-class American parents wanted their children to be well mannered, poised, and beautiful. Proms were invented as a less expensive alternative to debutante balls so that middle-class young people of marriageable age could dress in their finest clothes, have dinner, dance, and practice social etiquette. So the first proms were debutante balls for the masses, a democratization of a high-society rite for young people, both boys and girls. Social etiquette and cultural customs were passed on from the upper class to the middle class in different ways during the early twentieth century, and attending the gala event of prom was one of those.