Chris Cillizza - The Gospel According to the Fix: An Insiders Guide to a Less than Holy World of Politics

Copyright 2012 by Chris Cillizza

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Broadway Books, an imprint of the
Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cillizza, Chris (Christopher Michael), 1976
The gospel according to the fix / by Chris Cillizza.1st ed.
p. cm.
1. ElectionsUnited States. 2. Political campaigns
United States. 3. United StatesPolitics and government2009 I. Title.
JK1976.C54 2012
324.973dc23 2012011305

eISBN: 978-0-307-98710-5

Cover illustration Fotosearch
Cover design by Kyle Kolker

v3.1

To Gia
You are my sunshine

Politics takes itself very seriously. It shouldnt.

Yes, politics can be sublime. But it can also be ridiculous. Very ridiculous. Ive spent the last decade covering campaign politics at the so-close-to-the-picture-I-am-getting-a-headache level and, in that time, have seen a Republican governor turn hiking the Appalachian Trail into a euphemism for an extramarital affair, a congressmanand aspiring mayor of New York Cityaccidentally post a picture of his junk on his Twitter feed, and a North Carolina senator (and would-be president) lie about, then admit to fathering, an out-of-wedlock child.

Ive also stood three hundred feet from the historic inauguration of Barack Obama as the countrys first black president (my god was it cold that day), gone without sleep as the country tried to decide who had won Floridaand the presidencyin 2000, and reported on the attempted assassination of Arizonas congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords.

Ive also driven through the snow-covered streets of Des Moines more times than I care to rememberand even got my rental car stolen in downtown Des Moines once!spent untold sums on the Dunkin Donuts in the Manchester, New Hampshire, airport, and eaten barbecue by the pound, literally, in South Carolina.

Ive done all of this in service of my stomach, er, blogThe Fixwhich began in 2005 and has been with me (in a good way) every day since. My goal from the very first post until today has always been the same: to serve as a tour guide for people through the increasing cacophony that is the political world. I am the Kenneth the Pagewithout the southern accent or hokey southern-ismsof the political world.

Every time I talk to people who either cover politics as their job or follow it as their hobby, I hear the same thing: theres too much news. Its impossible to keep up. My job is to keep up for you. To be the guy who obsessively checks his iPhone (hip!) at 2 AM , monitors his Twitter feed while feeding his infant son dinner (guilty), and would rather watch cable chat shows than Two and a Half Men. (Do people really watch that show?) I am the keeper of the political flame.

The fun of The Fix is that people pay methank you Don Graham and the Washington Post!for doing just that. But Ive always wanted to go longer, think bigger, use even MORE parenthesesto bring the love and passion I have for politics to more people who would love it if they only got to know it a little bit. (That line, by the way, was my [un]successful argument to my [unrequited] high school love.)

Thats where the idea for The Gospel was born. To take what I loved about The Fix and make it bigger and betterkind of like Coke and New Coke. Wait

Anyway, I hope this book radiates the joy I get from covering the political world in all its seriousness and sillinesshopefully both in equal measure. Politics is the greatest sport in the world with the highest stakes for those willing to play the game. I have been lucky enough to sit in the stands for the last decade. This book is my attempt to show you what I have seen.

The Ames Straw Poll died a quiet death in the summer of 2011, although the patient didnt realize it was all over until five months later.

For the better part of three decades, the straw poll, held on the campus of Iowa State University, amounted to a must-attend event. Though it was nothing more than a fund-raiser for the Iowa Republican Party, it transformed itselfwith a major assist from the mainstream media (shakes fist)into an early indicator of who might wind up winning the first-in-the-nation caucuses in the Hawkeye State.

In 1979, 1987, and 1999 the straw poll winner went on to win the caucuses. In 2007, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabeeremember him?came in a surprising second at Ames and went on to win in Iowa the following year.

As the supposed importance of Ames as organizational litmus test grew, so too did the pageantry surrounding it. By the time George W. Bush and Steve Forbes faced off in 1999, it had become a full-blown carnival.

In a parking lot outside of the Hilton Coliseumwhere Cyclone hoops greats like Fred The Mayor Hoiberg and Marcus Huge NBA Bust Fizer (OK, that wasnt his nickname) once roamed, the Iowa GOP auctioned off the various parcels around the voting site to the aspirants. In 1999, Bush, who was practically bathing in cash, dropped $40,000 just to have the best and biggest space in the Coliseum parking lot. In 2011, Texas representative Ron Paul was the highest bidderspending $31,000 for his plot.

Once their piece of landconcrete, actuallywas secured, the real spending began. Elaborate tents and stages were built, caterers were hired to feed the masses, dunking booths were set up, tickets were bought for attendees. (Yes, one of the great/terrible things about Ames is that the candidates paid for their supporters to attend.)

And the media swarmed. And I do mean swarmed. More than eight hundred press credentials were issued for the 2011 version of Ames, which amounted to more votes than either former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney or former House Speaker Newt Gingrich received at the event itself. Reporters from Japan, Germany, and every American news outlet you have ever heard ofand many you havent heard ofcircled those few days in mid-August as a must-do for campaign coverage.

With reporters literally everywhere, political hangers-on were drawn to Ames like flies to a carcass. (And, yes, I am aware I just compared the mediaof which I am a memberto an insect that vomits its own food.) National Rifle Association supporters paraded around Ames wearing orange hats. Men dressed like Uncle Sam and women dressed like Lady Liberty were a dime a dozen. And everywhere, everywhere were people pushing pet causes that ranged from the mildly credible to the demonstrably insane.