Katherine Paterson - Birdies Bargain

If youre wearing a T-shirt that says in big capital letters IJESUS, you shouldnt be standing in the middle of the street bawling your eyes out. But that was exactly what Birdie was doing. She had raced out of Grans house just in time to see the old Subaru swing around the corner. Mom must have been driving because Birdie got a last glimpse of Daddy sitting next to Baby Billys car seat. They never looked back, and they didnt hear her yelling, telling them to waitthat she had changed her mindthat she wanted to go with them.

It was too late.

It wasnt until the volunteers from the Lions Club had left and they stood in the empty apartment looking at nothing that Birdie realized her bicycle was gone. The sofa, the kitchen table and chairs, all the bedseven the TVhad been carried to the truck. Daddy had finished stuffing the trunk of the Subaru and the tiny U-Haul trailer with all the boxes and baby furniture when she thought of it.

Mom! Those guys stole my bike!

Oh, Birdie. No one stole your bike.

Then where is it? Daddy didnt put it in the car or in the U-Haul. You gotta call them. Tell them to bring it back! Now!

We cant do that, sweetie. Mom sighed. Shed been doing a lot of sighing lately, and it wasnt her style. Im sorry. I should have told you, but its been hard to think straight, and they were so thrilled to get a bike. They said bikes always do well in their summer sale.

But its my bike!

There was just no room, either in the car or the U-Haul Did you know everything they make from the sale goes to help blind people?

As if that would make it okay.

It was really too small for you, Daddy chimed in. We need to get you a new one, a regular-size one. He studied Birdies grim expression. I promise.

When?

As soon as we can afford it, Mom said. Like never.

It was downhill from there. Birdie hardly spoke in the car on the way north even though Daddy was sitting in the back seat, too. The passenger-side front seat was piled to the roof with stuff, which meant that some grown-up had to sit in back. Your moms the better driver, he said as he climbed in with Birdie and Billy.

She was sure that before Billy was born, Daddy used to drive a lot, and he never sat in the back even when he wasnt driving. She should have been happy he was in the back, but Baby Billys car seat was plunk in the middleright between themand even if she felt like talking, which she certainly did not at the moment, how could she talk to Daddy across the stomach of a six-month-old baby who cried a lot and wouldnt even go to sleep in a moving car?

It was a known fact that every normal baby in the world just naturally passed out as soon as a car was shifted into drive and began to move. I think something must be wrong with your brother, Melanie had said when Birdie complained to her friends that Billy never slept in the car.

During the whole week that Mom and Daddy and Gran tried to settle the family into their new quarters, Birdie watched soap operas. She hated the place, hardly bigger than a closet, that was supposed to be her new bedroom. She spent her days in the living room watching TV. They should have yelled at her for being lazy and selfish. They didnt even fuss at her for watching daytime soaps. They just didnt care. Didnt they remember how they used to fuss about children turning into ignorant couch potatoes? Maybe she needed to scream like Billy so theyd come running. But seriously

On Monday Mom had gone to the local Dollar Store and applied for a job. Daddy said she should take her time, try to find a better job, but she shook him off. They were hiring at the Dollar Store. She was sure she could get a job there. If she hated it, shed try to find something else. Right now, they needed the money. She promised not to start before he left. No one suggested that Birdie start school before then.

They wanted as much time with Daddy as possible. But Birdie had pretty much ruined that, hadnt she? Moping around and pretending to feel sick for most of the week. Even Wednesday night, when Gran took them all out for maple creamies, Birdie had pouted. Chocolate was her favorite, not maple. Couldnt they bother to remember that?

Then the terrible last morning arrived. Mom came to wake her up, but Birdie just burrowed under the pillow and pretended to be asleep.

Come on, sweetie. Get up. Birdie didnt move. Birdie, please. Were not going to see Daddy for a year. Even if you dont want to go to the airport, at least get up and say goodbye.

I cant. Her voice was muffled by the thick duck-feather pillow, to which she was probably allergic, but who would care? I feel awful. I might give him something.

Oh, Birdie, Mom said in her dont-be-ridiculous tone of voice. She stood in the doorway for a moment or two, then, sighing loudly enough for Birdie to hear it through the feathers, she left. Birdie listened to the click of her boot heels as she walked the short distance to the kitchen.

Birdie thought she could hear a whispered conversation, and then there was the sound of her fathers heavier step. Birdie. He said it quietly because he had walked right to the side of her bed. Ive got to go now, okay?

What a stupid thing to say. It was not okay. It would never be okay.

I want you to help your mom and Gran while Im gone. No kidding, slugger. I really need you to step up to the plate. Why did he say that? She hated baseball.

When she didnt answer, didnt even turn to look at him, he bent down, gently pulled the pillow off her head, and kissed her ear. Ill miss you, baby, he said. And was gone.

The closing of the heavy front door made Birdie sit up straight. She put her hand right on the heart of her Jesus T-shirt. What was the matter with her? How could she let her daddy go to war without even a real goodbye? Jesus would never do that. Being scared that someone would die was not an excuse. At Bible Camp, Reverend Colston had told them that Jesus gave his friends a long, beautiful goodbye message the night before he died.

She jumped out of bed, stuck her feet into her bunny slippers, and raced out of the house just in time to see the old Subaru swing around the corner. She was too late.

When she turned, still bawling, to go back to the house, Gran met her holding out her jacket.

Sweetie, here. Put your jacket on. Its freezing today.

Without a word, Birdie shrugged on her old Salvation Army Store jacket. She couldnt talk. Shed already said too many wrong words before she even got out of bed this morning.

Birdie went back into the empty old house, went to her tiny room, pulled off her jacket, and got into bed. Once again, she pulled the pillow over her head. There was nothing else to do. She lay there trying not to think, but the view of the disappearing car kept rattling around in her head. Mom was driving him to Essex Junction, where the guard was gathering for the ceremony. Then the soldiers would get on the buses to the airport, from where theyd fly to some base and on to Iraq, where theyd all die.