Table of Contents
Goodbye Jesus
An Evangelical Preachers Journey Beyond Faith
Tim Sledge
Insighting Growth Publications
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You can contact Tim Sledge on his website, www.MovingTruths.com , where he shares insights for personal growth.
Goodbye Jesus Copyright 2018 by Tim Sledge. All Rights Reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
Tim Sledge
www.MovingTruths.com
Debra Wolf, First Edition Editor
Cover design by Natalia Matuszewska
Printed in the United States of America
First Edition: March 2018
Second Edition: December 2018
Insighting Growth Publications
One Riverway Suite 1700
Houston, TX 77056
www.IGrowPub.com
ISBN13: 978-0-9998435-3-6 (Paperback)
ISBN13: 978-0-9998435-4-3 (Kindle E-Book)
ISBN13: 978-0-9998435-2-9 (Audiobook)
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.
Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.
Excerpts from pp. 90, 91, 92, 99 from HOW JESUS BECAME GOD by BART D. EHRMAN. Copyright 2014 by Bart D. Ehrman. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers.
Brief quote from p. 28 JESUS INTERRUPTED by BART D. EHRMAN. Copyright 2009 by Bart D. Ehrman. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers.
Preface
O ver a period of 50 years, I was significantly shaped by my Christian faith. I read the Bible from cover to cover at age nine, was called to be a minister at 16, and eventually became a leader within my denomination. I led churches, wrote books, and influenced thousands of people, only to discover late in life that faith no longer worked for me.
This is my spiritual autobiography: the story of my journey into and out of faith, and the story of how I came to see the world and myself in an entirely new way.
Here are six ways you might connect with what Ive written.
You Have Left Your Faith and Are Attempting to Recover: Moving away from a belief system you once wholeheartedly embraced but now reject is a loss that must be grieved. My story will help you realize you are not alone.
Your Faith Has Been Shaken and You Are Asking Questions: If life surprises and disappoints you in a way that makes your faith suddenly seem ineffective, you may find yourself questioning what you believe. Perhaps you are ready to examine your beliefs with a new openness to following the truth wherever it leads.
You Are Trying to Decide What You Believe About Faith: I devoted decades to living and promoting a faith I no longer believe. My story could save you a lifetime of misplaced efforts.
You Are a Minister Who Was Forced Out: This story will remind you that you are not alone. Even if you dont agree with where I landed, on these pages you will find insights and empathy.
Your Faith Is Strong, but You Are Curious About My Story: Perhaps youre well-grounded in your current faith, but curious about how someone like me could end up with no faith. Read on to find out.
You Have Never Been a Person of Faith: Skeptics sometimes take aim at caricatures of faith. In the following pages, you will see a sincere life of faith through the eyes of a minister. And you will learn why reasoned arguments about inconsistencies of faith may not be enough to get the attention of most committed believers.
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This is a non-fiction book, but the best way to read it is like a novelstart with the first chapter and keep reading. Its a story where different characters come into play, one thing leads to another, and the dramatic end result cant be fully understood if you dont know the backstory.
If a quick read is your only option, I suggest the following chapters: 1, 5, 11, 13, 14, 18, 19, 22, 32, 33-35, 44, 46-49, 54, 62-63, 67, 72, 77-83, 86, and 95-97. If you absolutely must jump straight to the outcome, you can start with Chapter 80, and read until the end, but my hope is that youll join me for the whole ride. I think youll find it an interesting, revealing, and compelling tale of truth.
And just so you know, the following names are pseudonyms for real individuals who are part of the story: Adam, Blake, Cheryl, Daniel, Darrell, Ellen, Elliot, Gilbert, Jason, Kimberly, Merrill, Mitchell, Mr. Banks, Nelson, Pat, Rex, Rodney, Stan, Stuart, Vic, Wendell, and Wesley. Atwood Church and Triumph Church are pseudonyms for real churches, and CNI refers to an actual company that goes by another name.
Tim Sledge
1 Balancing Act
T he 1,400-seat sanctuary was packed, mainly with grieving teenagers and their parents, waiting for me to eulogize a beloved middle school teacher. It was an expectant crowd, anxious to hear me speak of this man as a hero, a pillar of the community, a husband and father to whom fate had dealt a tragic blow. But as the officiating pastor for the funeral service, I was aware of a smaller audience in the second row on my leftan adolescent girl who had reported the deceased for sexual abuseand sitting at her side, her mother.
As if the abuse itself hadnt been despicable enough, in addition to having sex with the girl, the teacher was trying to persuade her to receive Jesus as her savior, to convert herwhat Christians call witnessing.
That wasnt all I was aware of. I now knew that this well-known member of our congregation had not been killed in an accident. He had taken his own life, just before the full weight of accusationsincluding those from his pastwould lower the boom on his world as he knew it.
Despite the dreadful nature of this particular day, as senior pastor of the Kingsland Baptist Church in Houston, Texas, I believed I was exactly where God wanted me to be. We were spreading the gospel, growing by double digits, building innovative ministries, and making a difference in peoples lives.
Standing at the center of a tragedy wasnt new to me, and over the years, I had learned that with Gods help, I could face whatever was in my path. I was clear on what I needed to do and say: I could not ignore the facts and circumstances surrounding the death of my congregant. Somehow, I had to ease the suffering of those who were mourning, acknowledge the pain of the mans victim, and remain respectful of the truth.
I knew what to say that day, but I could not ignore the dissonance of the reality I faceda man who was devoted to the teachings of Jesus had been violating a young girl. And this was only the latest addition to a collection of observations I had been accumulating since I began preaching at the age of 16my collection of exceptions to the rule of faith .
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My office window at Kingsland Baptist Church faced northward toward I-10, the major freeway running east and west through Houston. It was late on a Wednesday afternoon in April of 1994. I happened to look up and see helicopters circling over the interstate about a half mile away.
Curious, I decided to take a break to see what was going on. I drove onto the service road near the spot where the choppers were hovering. Police had stopped all inbound traffic. The main west-side entry point to the nations fourth-largest city was backed up as far as the eye could see.