H.G. Tudor - Danger: 50 Things You Should Not Do With a Narcissist

DANGER:

50 THINGS YOU SHOULD

NOT DO WITH A

NARCISSIST

BY

H G TUDOR

All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2015

Danger:

50 Things You Should Not Do With A

Narcissist

By

H G Tudor

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express written permission of the publisher.

Published by Insight Books

Dedications

This one is for you.

Introduction

Hello and welcome to my observations about the fifty things that you should not do with a narcissist. As usual, I am providing you with the benefit of the perspective from a narcissist. This gives you a rare and advantageous view to enable you to understand how my kind and me think and behave. This will enable you to be better warned and in turn advise others that may be engaged in doing the dance with the narcissist what to be aware of. Furthermore, you may be fortunate enough to provide this information to those who have not yet had the misfortune to be ensnared by a narcissist so they can guard themselves against the inevitable pain and misery that arises from being drawn into our twisted world.

The world is becoming a dangerous place because my kind is on the increase. More than ever you need to be aware about what we do, how we behave and what you should do to protect yourselves. One in six people are narcissists. That means at a dinner party there is one already sat around the table. Is it your partner? What about your best friend? Her husband. We are there, moving freely amongst you because the world is allowing us to do this

Our kind is multiplying. Society is geared more than ever to not only creating more of our type but also providing us with so many methods by which we can ensnare you with the advance of technology. You will be most likely aware that everyone has narcissistic tendencies and the way the world is, it is pandering to those traits, encouraging them and growing them. Competition is good. You should be better than everyone else. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Put you first and everything else will fall into place. You deserve it. You are worth it. You are special.

The demand for instant gratification is fuelling this epidemic of narcissistic tendencies. There is little concept of earning a living through hard graft and application. A sense of entitlement has grown; the world owes you a living. It must be about the here and now. I do not believe in jam tomorrow, because I demand it today. Consider all of these things and how they have created an air of immediacy.

So much is available now. So often the shortcut to wealth, beauty and fame is dangled before people causing them to want it all and somehow believe that they are the ones who are entitled to have it. People are encouraged to grab what they can because if they do not, someone else will. You snooze you lose, nobody remember who comes second, show me a good loser and I will show you a loser, eyes on the prize and so on.

This environment, which is so conducive to narcissistic tendencies, can only be a fertile breeding ground for the full-blooded narcissist. Who could function normally and healthily when they are fed a daily diet of compliance? Entire industries have sprung up based on pandering to people. Every part of your body can be changed, buffed or polished. It can be made bigger or smaller, stronger, more durable and more attractive. Why bother putting the hours in on a treadmill when you can have the fat sucked from your body? Your nose is big because your father has a big nose and his before him, but you can engage in some rhinoplasty and have it altered. The world has become more and more a selfish place with individualism lauded above everything else.

All this has done is create the potential for more people to cultivate narcissistic tendencies and thus step onto the slippery slope to becoming a full-blown narcissist. I know the experts repeatedly make mention of how narcissists are created during childhood, usually from some traumatic event, through neglect or through being deemed to be a golden child. There may be some mileage in these theories but they do not know for sure. Consider that last item, the golden child. Of course all parents believe their children are wonderful. That is a necessary pre-requisite for the parent to care, nourish and support their child, but now it has crossed over into something that is far from healthy. It is becoming the norm to treat your child as some kind of superstar even when it is patently clear they are not special in the slightest. Everyone wins a prize at sports day in school. Children are lavished with praise and fail to experience the sting of constructive criticism that will make them try harder. Society is now creating an expectation that every child is special, is capable of great things and thus should be afforded special treatment. The creation of this expectation is dangerous. Simone de Beauvoir argued in the Second Sex, amongst other things, that the maternal instinct is not actually natural but is in fact a construct of a patriarchal world. Women are expected to want to care for children because men have made them believe that is their role. Is something similar not happening with children? They are being brought up to believe they are special, that they are entitled and that they can do what they like because of their brilliance? The seeds of creating more and more narcissists are being spread.

Not only is this prevailing culture of a narcissistic cultivation creating more narcissists, it also provides ideal cover for those of us moving amongst you already. Consider this. Once upon a time someone who believed they were above everyone else, someone who was grandiose in gesture and word, uncaring and self-centred stuck out like a sore thumb. That is not so much the case today. Pause for a moment and consider amongst your family, your friends, your acquaintances and your colleagues, the people who stand in the crowd each week with you watching junior football or in the congregation at your church and ascertain which of them: -

Chances are you know will several people who do one of more of these things. Now, I am not suggesting that he or she amounts to being a narcissist. Not at all, that falls to a more clinical analysis, but what it does show is that narcissistic tendencies prevail all around and they are increasing because of the way society is. This means that those of us who are narcissists become even harder to spot. Not only are we masters of disguise that trap you in an instant, our surroundings are being altered so that they provide us with even more concealment and cover. It has never been a better time to be a narcissist.