Heiney - Can cows walk down stairs?: the best brains answer the biggest and smallest scientific questions

Title

Atoms to Big Bangs

The Chicken, the Egg and Swimming Kangaroos

Sneezing Birds and Spiders Webs

Autumn Leaves, Ripe Tomatoes and Germs

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Curly Hair, Belly Buttons and Hangovers

Jelly, Diamonds and Custard Powder

Curries, Sherbet and Falling in Love

Starting at Zero

From Grey Matter to Bread Crusts

The French philosopher and anthropologist Claude Lvi-Strauss ( not the inventor of denim jeans), whose complex theories of structuralism are as far removed from my understanding as the small print of an insurance policy, once said, The scientific mind does not so much provide the right answers as ask the right questions. This view, from one of such intellectual authority, comes as a great relief for Ive always been able to come up with the killer questions: its the answers that have eluded me.

I know no more science than I learnt at school, and this was just enough to oblige me to spend the rest of my life frustrated that I did not know more. Somehow, my knowledge of science always stopped two photons short of a good answer to all the fundamental and fascinating questions raised by the business of living. There is a neatness and satisfaction in a convincing answer to a scientific question, but only frustration when a too-slender grasp of the principles involved leaves you unable to produce one. For example, if you ask me why satellites orbit the Earth, I know that it is something to do with Newtons Law of Motion, isnt it? Does angular momentum come into it? Could I define angular momentum? No, of course I couldnt. Thats the problem: its always easier, and much more fun, to come up with the questions than it is to provide full and proper answers.

So I am grateful to Mr Lvi-Strauss for allowing me some credit for only ever wanting to ask why, and expecting someone else to do the hard graft of coming up with the reply. If you are in a similar position, dont worry Lvi-Strauss puts us at the very heart of scientific thinking.

We occasional seekers after scientific truth are joined by a large body of enquiring people who, in frustration, picked up their phone or connected their computer to the Internet to quiz the brains behind a London-based question-answering service called Science Line a product of a concerned government which became worried that young people were turning increasingly to the study of media, humanities and sport, and shunning the sciences. This raised the prospect that there might be, a generation hence, no one left in Britain who understood that pi was not part of the food technology syllabus.

The government decided to do something about it. The aim was to provide a telephone and Internet service, available freely to all, which would answer any scientific question anyone, young and old, cared to throw at it. There were a few rules: complexity alone did not rule out any question, so an explanation of why light cannot emerge from Black Holes was fine; but strictly non-scientific questions, such as, in the expression, whats up?, what does the up refer to? was banned. Also ruled out were calls from cheats who were attempting to use the service to do their homework for them.

Behind the scenes at this all-knowing super-brain was a small team of enthusiasts, mostly young scientists from across a wide field of knowledge, who could deal with the recurring questions which were well within the understanding of anyone with a reasonable scientific education, such as why is the sky blue? (Brief answer: blue light gets scattered much more than all the other colours in the light from the sun because of its short wavelength, causing the sky to appear blue.) Of course, very often one question leads inevitably to another, if sometimes out of a natural desire to prove yourself smarter at asking questions than the other person is at answering them. Such a clever-clogs might now ask, if the skys blue because of scattering, why is a sunset red? (Brief answer: because the light from the sun, as seen at sunset, is coming to you through a thicker atmosphere, which absorbs the blue light. But the blue light of the sky doesnt come directly from the sun its scattered light.) And from a fertile mind a hundred further questions can probably emerge, but well draw the line there.

Some questions asked of Science Line, however, were harder for them to deal with than the blue sky theory. What is the exact difference between Henkins proof for the Completeness Theorem for First Order Logic and Godels proof? Eh? Im sorry; I would need someone to explain the question before I could begin to understand any answer. But Science Line was not fazed by this, nor by questions like can you describe a method for determining electron dn configurations? which sounds suspiciously like homework to me. Instead of scratching their heads, the experts forged contacts with the wider academic community and turned to them for definitive answers. As a result, all the answers carried authority, readability and sometimes no small measure of humour.

Then, just as Science Line was becoming part of peoples lives, the government pulled the funding plug and it passed peacefully away. Its website carried the sad statement, Due to lack of funding Science Line will close on the 26th September 2003. We are sorry but we can no longer take any questions.

By great good fortune, before the website closed and the dedicated team of question answerers moved on to other things, they had already explored the possibility of a book based on their vast, wide-ranging database, which by now contained over 16,000 questions and answers. This is where I came in, although at this early stage I was entirely unprepared for the breadth, depth and often sheer entertainment value of the material Science Line had collected. I have always thought that the idea of the undiscovered treasure chest which opened to reveal jewels and sparkling gems was the stuff of childrens books. But now on my desk were two slim computer disks, which opened to reveal equally dazzling contents. Together those two slim disks added up to a mountain of knowledge which we all agreed should not go to waste. The questions and answers would no longer be on the Internet, but why shouldnt the best of them be brought together in a book?

I hadnt read far into the megabytes of knowledge before I realized that here were the answers to questions that had dogged me all my life. I already knew why the sky was blue, honestly, but I had no idea why flies circle round light bulbs, or why jelly made with fresh pineapple will never set but I do now. I understand reflections in mirrors now did you know theyre not flipped at all? And if you have ever lain awake at night wondering whether or not penguins have kneecaps, the answer is here. You will also learn why cows can walk up stairs but not down again thats to do with kneecaps too.

There can be no greater pleasure than sifting through these questions, not only for the satisfaction of discovering the answers, but for the sheer enjoyment of the lateral thinking and mischievous minds which asked, how easy is it, scientifically, to fall off a log? or do bacteria have sex?.

The task of choosing the questions to include in this book was an easy one I picked the ones that not only fascinated me most, but also those which provided surprising or unusual answers. The selection was made purely on entertainment value: the sort which leads not to a giggle or a belly laugh, but to the warm glow that flows from a nagging scientific question answered in an understandable way. No doubt someone else would make an entirely different selection.

The questions, remember, belong to the people who asked them, and for the education they provide we must thank them. And to those who patiently answered them I can only express the most enormous respect for what they clearly believed was a vital public service. I herewith salute and give full credit to Sin Aggett (Biology), Alison Begley (Astronomy and Physics), Duncan Kopp (author of Night Patrol ), Khadija Ibrahim (Genetics), Kat Nilsson (Biology), Jamie McNish (Chemistry), Alice Taylor-Gee (Chemistry) and Caitlin Watson as well as the numerous distinguished experts whose knowledge they drew upon when their own was stretched to its limits.