Selk - Executive toughness: the mental-training program to increase your leadership performance

Katherine Armstrong, you are the Michael Jordon of editing; thanks for helping me align the words on paper with the thoughts in my head. I would also like to give a shout out to my agent Kristina Holmes; thank you for your help with making this book a huge success. Thanks to Ron Martirano and all the great people at McGraw-Hill for believing in and supporting this project. Last but certainly not least, a special thank-you to Andy Hill, Coach John Wooden, Colonel Hirniak, Maxine Clark, Ben Newman, Steve at Wells Fargo, Nikki Hillin, Jim Steiner, Tom Bartow, Michael Staenberg, Justin Spring, John Ertz, and Dan Gable for allowing me to share your stories.

Jason Selk, Ed.D., is the director of mental training for the St. Louis Cardinals and author of 10-Minute Toughness. Jason is a regular contributor to ABC, CBS, ESPN, and NBC radio and television and has been featured in Mens Health, Muscle and Fitness, Self, Shape, Stack, and Fitness magazines. Jason utilizes his in-depth knowledge and experience of working with the worlds finest business leaders, athletes, and coaches to help individuals and organizations develop the mental toughness needed for high level success. Jasons first book, 10-Minute Toughness, is on-pace to be one of the bestselling sport psychology books of all time and Jason is considered one of the top performance coaches in the world.

Jason has experience providing services for the following clients: Anheuser-Busch, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Charles Schwab, Edward Jones, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, Northwestern Mutual, Wells Fargo, the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), Major League Baseball (MLB), the National Football League (NFL), the National Hockey League (NHL), USA Gymnastics, USA Skiing, USA Swimming, and many others.

Determine Your Purpose and Priorities

At an early age Maxine Clark, founder of Build-A-Bear Workshop, the worlds largest producer and retailer of make-your-own stuffed animals, learned the importance of having purpose and doing what you love. Maxines mother taught Maxine that every person has the right to become all that they can be. Although Maxines family was far from wealthy, they did meaningful things. Her mother cofounded a school for children with Down syndrome and took Maxine to political conventions. When Maxine was 12, her mother took her along on bus rides protesting segregation; they were both arrested. When I was young, I was so curious and my mother gave me the opportunity to see all kinds of things. I didnt know exactly what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew I didnt want to be anonymous. I wanted to do something special. I know now that my purpose in life is to be my mothers daughter.

You dont need to spend much time with Maxine to realize she is living her purpose. She truly is a remarkable woman. Her presence does not rely on the fact that she has established herself as one of the top businesspeople in the modern era. Instead, it stems from her very substance. Quite simply, she cares: she cares about the world, she cares about education, she cares about people. Her passion and style are both refreshing and inspirational.

Maxine first made a name for herself at the May Department Stores, where colleagues thoroughly enjoyed working with her. Maxines infectious creativity and innate ability to care propelled her to the top of the male-dominated retail industry. As president of Payless ShoeSource, Maxine experienced great success pushing this industry giant to achieve more than $2 billion in annual sales. I knew growing up in the male world of business that you had to pretend to be someone you really werent in your heart. That wasnt a bad thing. It was like putting yourself in a role that you wouldnt have played otherwise, and there is nothing wrong with that. But after a while I realized that my financial bank account was full, yet my psychic income was at empty. Ultimately I decided there was more to life

Maxine decided to move forward, but this time with purpose. I had to remember who I was. I then determined what I wanted to do. After resigning from Payless in 1996, Maxine made the decision to follow her dream of doing something different and important. One year later, Maxine opened her first Build-A-Bear Workshop, a mall-based make-your-own-stuffed-animal experience that is enormously popular with children in the United States and in many other countries around the world. Ten years after its founding, Build-A-Bear Workshop recorded sales of $474 million and had garnered accolades for its deep, inclusive corporate culture in which every employee could make a difference.

The main transition point in Maxines career came when she realized she wasnt on her path. She found the courage to decide what she wanted out of her life. In making this decision, she exhibited mental toughness fundamental #1: define your win.

DEFINE YOUR WIN: Know your purpose and priorities to solidify your ability to win in the important aspects of life.

You begin to achieve the success you want by determining your purpose and priorities. When you, like Maxine Clark, decide who you want to be and what you are going to stand for, you begin to rise above the masses in business who have no idea. You set the course for winning, quite simply, by defining what winning means to you.

When you watch a baseball game, it is easy to know who is winning: you look at the scoreboard and its right there in front of you to see. But how do you know if you are winning in life? The only true method of answering this question is to clearly define your win by delineating what is most important to you. This chapter will assist you in identifying your purpose and your priorities so you will always have a scoreboard of life that tells you if you are winning or not.

No one else can create that scoreboard for you; in doing so, they would be telling you what you want out of your life. Yet it seems that so many peoplebusinesspeople in particular, for some reasonswallow a set definition of success hook, line, and sinker. The result is that they end up trying to live someone elses dream without connection. Whether you are currently successful or not, you can and will go further by making a conscious choice to create the life you want instead of simply letting the machine of your subconscious hum along on its own without accountability or direction.

So many individuals walk into my office believing they do not control their lives. The truth is that we are in complete control of our destiny, and the first step is to own this reality. The great thing about our existence is that we each get to choose who we are and how our lives turn out. In the book Discover Your Destiny, Patanjali is quoted:

When you are inspired by some great purpose or some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations. Your consciousness expands in every direction, and you will find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties, and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.

The flip side is that without such a life vision in the form of purpose and priorities, people become stagnant, sedentary, and worn out by the daily grind. A leading cause of depression, lack of a life vision is quite common. Often-times, individuals who have tried every medication in the book still end up walking into my office full of suffering. That suffering is their bodys alarm system notifying them that they need to make some changes. The cure cannot be found in a pill bottle. The act of defining the win by creating a specific, actionable life vision-of-the-win can begin to produce relief almost immediately.