Saul van der Walt - Morsels for the Depressed, Depraved, Pessimistic, and otherwise declining

Morsels

For the

Depressed, Depraved, Pessimistic,

and otherwise Declining

Saul van der Walt

Morsels for the

Depressed, Depraved, Pessimistic,

and otherwise declining

Copyright 2019, Saul van der Walt.
All rights reserved, fair use and other limitations and exceptions to copyright respected.

Names, Places, People, Happenings, they are all fictional here, any resemblance to things or persons in real life, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

ISBN-13 (paperback): 9781702504744

Dedicated to the semblance of a bearable life in this world

and no other.

CONTENTS

Morsels

Dulcey Lima (unsplash)

~

An evil thing to sell a child, the belief: anything is possible and you sweet love can make it happen. In impossible world-spaces caught between promise, prowess, and an infinite nothing that threatens to consume all texture between here and eternity, the only thing left to become is monstrous, and empty.

~

Authenticity, a guilty and seldom private virtue of the insincere, insecure, and identifically-challenged.

~

The future is forgone one choice at a time, though oft it seems ones choice in choosing is wholly lacking.

~

There is causality and there is violence, only one is necessary.

~

Every scar foolishly begotten is both the worlds autograph and your congratulatory Darwin award.

~

If I could be who you wanted, you wouldnt need me.

~

One is not obliged to do anything, and whoever says otherwise is a slave (though, were all slaves to something or other).

~

God is both vanity disembodied and the testimonial recognition of our failure to properly reciprocate humanity to humanity.

~

Death, but a subtle change of pace to those already destroyed in life.

~

The trouble with every thisness, that it just aint all that.

~

After suicide, the second most pressing question in life is: How to solve the problem of other people?

~

Sure, you can stoke up the feeling of meaning, thats quite alright, but the real question is just whether you can hold on to it.

~

Things dont contradict themselves, people do.

~

Youll become a charlatan too if questioned far enough.

~

When you discover that you are no longer proficient in your own language.

~

Pain is a temple built in the name of reality, but for its service there is a sacrifice, and that is a tax paid on the tenability of the present moment.

~

The nice thing about darkness is that you dont have to take it seriously, when the time comes, your bare-assed prostration before it will be involuntary.

~

I would write you a beautiful poem on the insurmountability of that immense distance which cuts between the lands of sofa and refrigerator, but I fear that would be too much to ask.

~

Existence is basically trauma to anything living, but fortunately there are ways of being alive without living.

~

You learn it from other people that you are ugly.

~

Fear not, boredom will outlive sadness too.

~

Sorrow and anxiety is the price we pay to think time.

~

With the rejection of the other, the first veil to recognition is inevitably the fact of their feeling and being felt.

~

Faking so hard that it actually comes off as more authentic.

~

As a personality, you are a small program in a big computer.

~

For the most part, no one cares, and with enough tears, not even you.

~

If karma exists, whoever or whatever is keeping score is either evil or profoundly disabled.

~

Dont think; its not good.

~

Nothing decays as fast as a future.

~

Why do the happiest people always have the worst reasons for being so?

~

If youve maintained expectations, blatantly questioning them, then youve not questioned yourself far enough. Reason is impotent against fear.

~

Every symbol a person portrays serves a function, witting or not. Though, of symbols it often seems, they are just stand-ins for all the things we wish we were and could believe unironically little affirmations, like prayer wheels for the psyche.

~

Postirony: yeah ok.. but still though.

Postirony, a kind of fatalism about ones aboutness.

~

You cant really pre-grieve someone, but it helps.

~

The crowning, squeeze, and drop of a turd, at once, a most apt metaphor for life.

~

Vulgarity is closure over great constraint.

~

To witness a disassembled jumble of vocalizations, and consistent cause for care and clean up, bear the face of a person you once loved.

~

Today I showered, maybe tomorrow again.

~

Pity is pain, for you and for them.

~

There is nothing so subjective that it is completely unshared and unsharable, no one is that unique.

~

And strength to those who suffer in silence and are working on it.

~

What you cannot say, you must induce.

~

Twisted head, mental strife. Tainted memories, trapped in life. Words too floppy, silence too empty. Its getting old, the reasons dont hold. People full of words, strictures, and expectations. Tiresome reciprocations, the usual altercations. Their music is relentless, this philosophy is goo. All been said before, its the end now, theres a noise at the door.

~

Its the postplatonic-postironic speaking, who dis?

~

As a once aspiring disappointment, I am quite successful.

~

Its not so much about reinventing the wheel, its more about learning how to actually build one for yourself.

~

In times darkest, everyones a philosopher, just not necessarily a good one.

~

When the cringes of existence become too much to bear, then it is time, you have to strip, bleat, and beat something with a plank, your name is a good subject for this especially, be sure to attain peak-ridiculous. If you are successful at this, then that drive, that mental organ, the anti-cringer, or rather, your malicious-dignity, it will be too ashamed for you, it will be defeated and lay dormant in an existential tizzy, for a good while at least.

~

When existence turns into cringe soup, then think of your ancestors and what nonsense they thought and did; at least youre taking it all up soberly.

~

If exaptation is a tradeoff between degeneracy and practical utility, then it seems humanity is what happens when it all goes too far.

~

The little things are the hinges of being, not the philosophy we conjure up to relate ourselves to it.

~

Our psyches are like the Namibian Quiver-tree, it kills off parts of itself when it doesnt have the means to sustain them.

~

There is no reason to fear the abyss staring back at you; it is more impotent than you.

~

It doesnt always get better, sometimes it just gets quiet enough to properly distance yourself from it all.

~

Some have to walk on a road through hell to get where theyre going, others just luck out. Every success story comes with its own hell though.

~

The sudden loss of a life lived in the momentary gaze of a stranger.

~

Death is a kind of ironic pre-traumatic stress.

~

When you zig, it feels like you should be zagging, and when you zag, it feels like you should be zigging. The whole thing, its no good.

~

The world needs its ugliness so that words like beauty and future have meaning.

~

Be wary of new comforts, it is harder and slower to part with a good thing than it is to get used to one.

~

Freedom is to be determined or occupied in the manner of your choosing, well, as far as the situation will permit at any rate. However, while you may choose what you will, you cant exactly will what you choose.