Green - Becoming a Wildflower

Becominga Wildflower poetry+ prose for courage April Green
Also by April Green: Bloom for Yourself Bloom for Yourself II Let go and grow
Wildflowersgrow wherever the wind takes them; wherever the wind chooses to lay them down,they grow. Theydont look at their environment or the circumstances that brought them to wherethey are. They dont look at who is next to them, in front of them, or behindthem. Theyturn their faces to the light; and they grow. (Bloomfor Yourself II, Let go and growbyApril Green)
Copyright 2019 April Green
(loveaprilgreen@outlook.com) Allrights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any written,electronic, recording, or photocopying without written permission of thepublisher or author.

CoverArtwork:
Xavier Esclusa Trias www.twopots-design.com
ISBN 9781794418981
For my beautiful readers: in whatever part of theUniverse you occupy, I am sending you these words, these flowers pressed topaper, in the hope that you will find the courage to keep stretching andgrowing beyond anything you ever imagined.
Becominga Wildflower
Ondays when I feel like giving up; whendawn stretches out ahead of me toowide, too long to face, nightstill tight around my neck, thisis the prayer: Idont know where Im going. Icant always see the path in front of me, andeven when I can, Idont always recognise the person Iam, butsomewhere at the back of me, inthat delicate space between spine and air, arethe hands of the woman who survived allthe days that brought me here. So,for herI will rise.
Grace She showed me where the flowers were hidden then she left me to bloom.
Whatthe wildflowers teach us Shecrouched down beside me, a flower pressed into her hand, white petals beneathher feet.

I saw the future in her eyes, an ocean tugging me inthe way the moontugs your bones when shes at her fullest, reminds you to look up. Iheld the flower, a life in my hand: How can something so crushed still smellso sweet? Remember,you dont have to stay the same. She said. You bleed, you move, you spilllife into everything you touchthats what the wildflowers teach us. ThenI watched her walk away, a vision of peonies and promises, as though watchingher leave was watching myself arrive.
Sometimes,people come along to show youthe parts of yourself you didntknow existed.
Sometimes,people come along to show youthe parts of yourself you didntknow existed.

And, when they leave you are altered: you are braver, stronger than ever before.
And maybe courage
isnt so impossible to find.
Maybe courage is the tender touch of dusk upon my feet,whispering: restawhile; try again tomorrow.
The silenceafter rain: how quickly the sky pullsherself together.
Theceremony of healing Slowly, deliberately, I become a field of flowers and listen to the wild dawn tearing night from her skin.
Surviving is hard: Its okay to take your time bringing yourself back to life, honouring how far you have come.
Cosmic order The oceanhas my wishes inside her, thrown like rain from a body of water, a body oflight.
Cosmic order The oceanhas my wishes inside her, thrown like rain from a body of water, a body oflight.

You cantteach a person what you know: you cant tell them that every prayer, every wordunspoken, every feeling moving through your bones like a loose tongue, alwaysreturns with the wind and the tide. So, love:surrender while you can, on knees wet with earth and the bruise of thunder, becausenothing is randomit is wished for. It is magic.
Fragile Oneof the hardest things I have ever had to admit to myself was that during mymost fragile years, I allowed others to treat me the way I treated myself. (lackof self-worth stains everything the colour of itself.)
I am grateful to the ones who misunderstood me, rejected me,
tried to dim my light forthey led me back to myself.
When you are gentle with yourself, with your healing you come back to life.
And perhaps, the most beautiful flowers are the ones who allow the rain to pass right through them.
When I see them; the broken, holding something, anything, that will break them some more; there are things I want to say, like: how would the ocean turn pink if the sky held onto the sun like that? How would the rain fall and disguise your silent tears? I was once like you we werent born holding things; we were holding nothing.
When I see them; the broken, holding something, anything, that will break them some more; there are things I want to say, like: how would the ocean turn pink if the sky held onto the sun like that? How would the rain fall and disguise your silent tears? I was once like you we werent born holding things; we were holding nothing.

We were held. We are still held. (I pray that you one day find thecourage to let go and discover just how much you are held.)
Let it go then see what kind ofmagic returns in its place. Because, I promise that whats for you will never reach you while youre clinging to something else.
Thequiet confidence thatcomes from walking away. (andhow your body raises you higher withevery step.)
Choices I hope youunderstand that no-one can take away any part of who you are.

It is your experiences that should be guidingyou towards choosing the parts that no longer serve you, nothing else. Thats whatmakes living with yourself, as yourself, all the more beautifulevery choice isyours.
The world within As a child, I had needs that werentalways met. Growing up, I expected everyone andeverything to give me those needs. As an adult, I have discovered that Ihave enough power inside me to give myself everything I need: validation / nurture /unconditional love / respect / expression / encouragement / belief / courage /strength / grace / empowerment / freedom.
The beauty of pain Believe me when I say that the storms in your lifecontain beautiful mosaics of learnings and wisdom that will lead you towards anincredible life.

But you must be brave enough to weather the pain ofeach storm. You must believe that you have the strength to rise from the aftermathmore alive than ever before.
Expression needs no language We all have a deep, inherent need to feelheard. Without judgement. Without apologybut from the very root of whowe arefrom the inside out. But what do you do when you dont feel heard? Listen to yourself.

Listen to what your soul is drawing you towards. Express yourselfwithout words. Do it in a way that says: I am here. This is the only voice I need.
Always return to yourself If ever you feel lost and alone, please learn theart of becoming so still that you reconnect with the magic of your soul.
You are made of stars and love Your reason for being is not to explain yourself for being.
You are made of stars and love Your reason for being is not to explain yourself for being.

Even if it sometimes feels as though youre wrappedinside your own little planet, hurtling through outerspace you still belong here. (never apologise for yourlight.)
Reminder: Dont forget: youre the one who has been there for yourself all along.
Return to love You were made from love, out of love, and beyondlove beyond anything you caneven comprehend and sometimes you willstay there. sometimes you wont. sometimes you will dropdown to the lowest energy thatexists and you will have to climbhard to get back to love. sometimes you will hold onto comfort and stay there for days,months, years, even a lifetime before you return to love. sometimes you will give upcompletely and thats a goodthing. thats a good thing. because, somewhere betweenclimbing and falling and fearingand loving will you eventually workout that surrendering is the only way to controlthe movement, the energy, the fire. surrendering is the only way to returnto love.