Selby Christine L. B. - Who Am I? Understanding Identity and the Many Ways We Define Ourselves

Who Am I?

Who Am I?

Understanding Identity and the
Many Ways We Define Ourselves

Christine L. B. Selby

Copyright 2022 by ABC-CLIO, LLC

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Selby, Christine L. B., author.

Title: Who am I? : understanding identity and the many ways we define ourselves / Christine L. B. Selby.

Description: Santa Barbara, California : Greenwood, [2022] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021025261 (print) | LCCN 2021025262 (ebook) | ISBN 9781440872044 (hardcover ; alk. paper) | ISBN 9781440872051 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Identity (Psychology) | Self. | Self-perception.

Classification: LCC BF697 .S42125 2022 (print) | LCC BF697 (ebook) | DDC 158.1dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021025261

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021025262

ISBN: 978-1-4408-7204-4 (print)

978-1-4408-7205-1 (ebook)

262524232212345

This book is also available as an eBook.

Greenwood

An Imprint of ABC-CLIO, LLC

ABC-CLIO, LLC

147 Castilian Drive

Santa Barbara, California 93117

www.abc-clio.com

This book is printed on acid-free paper

Manufactured in the United States of America

This book is dedicated to the first person (LKH) who truly accepted me as is and to those who seek to understand themselves while finding that kind of acceptance.

Contents

Who Am I? Understanding Identity and the Many Ways We Define Ourselves explores the theories and factors that influence our respective answers to the question, Who are you? There are easy answers to this question, including things such as what you do in and outside of your home, where you grew up and where you live, what your likes and dislikes are, and so on. More difficult answers to this question involve your core beliefs and values that drive each decision you make. I do think we often give lip service to identifying our core beliefs and values; most people will say things like, Im helpful, kind, trustworthy, and so on. But the question that remains, in my opinion, is how do you truly live your life? Do the choices you make, small and large, truly reflect those beliefs and values? Do your actions do the same? Answering those questions requires a much deeper dive into truly understanding ones self and ones identity.

This book is intended to provide a brief examination of the theories that explain how and why our identity develops, the different terminology used in the context of self and identity that has great overlap and important distinctions, and the contemporary issues that, undoubtedly and beyond our control, affect who we are and who we become.

The book is organized into four parts. turns to a few of the theories that describe how our respective identities are formed. There are many other theorists who have contributed to this knowledge base; however, those selected here include a combination of historical and currently relevant theories (e.g., Erik Eriksons theory of psychosocial development) and contemporary theories that have seen a great deal of research supporting their respective tenets (e.g., Richard Ryan and Edward Decis self-determination theory).

by identifying what a poorly develop identity looks like and what impact that may have on an individuals life.

takes a broader approach and examines climate-related concerns and threats of terrorism and how these issues may impact our understanding of who we are.

sophomore who is identified as being in the moratorium identity status. Scenario four involves a twenty-four-year-old male college graduate who is identity achieved and appears to reflect fidelity to his identity. Scenario five describes a twenty-five-year-old Latino male who is developing his racial and ethnic identity. Scenario 6 examines a young mans struggle to reconcile his sexual identity. Scenario 7 describes a female high school senior who has a high degree of athletic identity and how that impacts her life and well-being. Scenario 8 discusses a sixteen-year-old male who is a junior in high school and is grappling with his adoptive identity. Scenario 9 involves a ten-year-old who was born a biological female but feels strongly like a male and is therefore exploring his gender identity. Scenario 10 describes a twenty-two-year-old female who has begun her graduate-level professional education and may have foreclosed on her identity, and is struggling with the imposter phenomenon.

Finally, this book includes a resource section that contains links and descriptions to various sources of information related to various topics in this book, a glossary of terms used throughout the book that may be unfamiliar to readers, and a bibliography of sources from which information included in this book was gleaned.

I hope you enjoy learning more about what it means to have an identity, how ones identity is formed, and the various factors that influence the development of our individual identities. I also hope that you explore how the material in this book applies to your own sense of who you are.

My formal interest in the concept of identity extends back to my college years. That is when I was first introduced to psychologists and philosophers who contemplated and researched what it means to have an identity, what constitutes the real versus false selves, and why living from ones real self is important for ones overall well-being. I have the late Larry K. Hamilton to thank for introducing me to many of these important thinkers. More importantly, I have him to thank for accepting me as I wasno matter what that looked like. His unconditional acceptance led me to conclude for myself and for my psychotherapy patients that there are very few things more powerful than being truly accepted as you are, without judgment or qualification. In my husband, I found such a person. It is difficult to write that without becoming tearful, as no matter what, he has shown time and time again that he accepts me, loves me, and tolerates the not so great parts of me because he knows who I truly am and loves me unconditionally. Thank you for that extraordinary gift, Brian.

My sons must be included on this list of acknowledgments. Both are now young men, and I have had the great privilege of helping them learn how to navigate and understand the world around them. And perhaps more importantly, I have been able to witness who they have become and how they have expressed themselves throughout the years in ways with which I did not always agree. The beauty is that I do not have to agree. Their choices are their own, and it is clear when they make them that they both do so thoughtfully (and, of course, sometimes impulsively!). On more than one occasion, they have changed course when they realized on their own, or after discussion with others, that the path they were headed down was not what was best for them. I truly could not be more proud of them both and who they are.

I have, to date, written four books for ABC-CLIO; this book makes five. The process by which each book was conceptualized, edited, and ultimately published has been truly enjoyable. Each book was written with the assistance of my editor, Maxine Taylor. She has been and continues to be a fervent cheerleader. Her support allowed this book to materialize after I suggested it, given my long-standing interest in and passion about all issues identity. Without her support and belief in me as a writer, she would not have been able to sell this book to the decision-makers at ABC-CLIO, who ultimately agreed that a book on identity was worth devoting resources to. As I have stated in the acknowledgment sections of previous books, this book is in its current form because of her excellent guidance. Thank you, Maxine, for helping me to hone my writing voice and to ABC-CLIO for committing resources to the production of this book.