MaryAnn McKibben Dana - Hope: A Users Manual

I have recently rediscovered a hymn that is quickly becoming my new favorite. The chorus is a repetitive O Christ, surround me. O Christ, surround me. As I read Rev. McKibben Danas book on hope, I found that refrain echoing in my spirit. Her words about hope surrounded me with a renewed sense of the presence of the Holy. She reminded me of the courage that has sat dormant in my spirit over these last couple of years. I will move forward with a deeper appreciation of how hope is an action and not just a feeling. (And goodness knows I love a good, subversive action!) By doing so, I anticipate being even more deeply immersed in the presence of God who always surrounds me. I am thankful for her persistent, consistent, wonderfully disruptive reclaiming of hope.

S HANNON J OHNSON K ERSHNER

pastor of Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago

In an era when fear seems to have gained the upper hand, MaryAnn McKibben Dana has produced a much-needed users manual on hope. Drawing on her own rootedness in faith as well as personal experiences and keen insights on the human condition, MaryAnns book lives up to its name. Anyone who needs motivation in these challenging and often discouraging times will find this volume, which includes reflective questions and suggestions for action at the end of each chapter, a helpful tool. MaryAnn openly shares her own struggles in a disarming way, and provides strategies for faithful, hope-filled living in a style remarkably free of churchy or theological language. I highly recommend this book to those who need encouragement to keep on keeping on. Perhaps that includes all of us!

C HARLES Y OOST

senior director of religious life and pastoral care at Lakeside Chautauqua, Ohio

Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.

4035 Park East Court SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

www.eerdmans.com

2022 MaryAnn McKibben Dana

All rights reserved

Published 2022

Printed in the United States of America

28 27 26 25 24 23 22 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

ISBN 978-0-8028-8231-8

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress.

T HIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN while living through a pandemic.

As such, Im grateful to everyone who supported MaryAnn the Human, not just MaryAnn the Author, during this time. Thanks to you, I didnt just get through it, I moved through it (see ), which gave this book the space and grace to happen. Special thanks to my extended familymother, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieblingsand all of our Zooms, movie discussions, and holiday music drafts. Thank you to The Well, especially Thirsty Thursdays; the CGs, who always had the right meme at the right time; Trinity Presbyterian Church in Herndon, VA, for your unglamorous yet joyful work in service to the way of Jesus; LeAnn Hodges, for weekly accountability; and Marilyn Williams, for a veritable blitzkrieg of truth bombs over the years.

A lot of this book grew out of blog posts, newsletter articles, conversations, and monthly Hope Notes gatherings. If you partook of any of these, and especially if you replied, commented, questioned, or said same here, you are a part of this book.

My coaching clients teach me so much. Thanks for giving me a front-row seat for your brilliant wrestling. Your wisdom is all over these pages as well.

Peruse this books quotes and footnotes, and youll find an extensive array of folks who deserve my gratitude as well, but I especially want to shout out Cathy Bonczek, Derrick Weston, Becca Messman, and Chris Tuttle. Matthew McKibben, your nerdery was invaluable, especially for the story section. Thanks for helping me light the beacons.

Many thanks to the Louisville Institute for the gift of a Pastoral Study Project grant; to the Porches Writing Retreat in Norwood, VA, for the hospitality when things were coming down to the wire; and to the folks at Eerdmans, especially David Bratt, Andrew Knapp, and Laurel Draper, for helping guide this book into its final form.

Robert Dana, youre such a good human. Caroline Dana, you survived hell, and a beautiful life is yours to embrace. Mel Dana, Im so grateful for your creativity, your strength, and your heart. James Dana, buddy, thank you for the walks and the laughs. I love you all. I love you each.

I REMEMBER EXACTLY when this book began to take shape in my mind and heart.

A few years ago, I was coaching a pastor who served a small congregation. Aaron (not his real name) had labored long and well to lead this tiny band of scrappy, social-justice-oriented folks in a medium-sized town in the Bible Belt. When he began his time there, he felt energized and full of can-do hopefulness that the church would thrive under his leadership. Over the subsequent years he saw evangelical churches flourish all around him, while his small flock continued to do its thingfaithfully, but without much glitz or fanfare, and without much growth either. In fact, like many aging congregations, their numbers declined year by year, the financial coffers were depleted, and Aaron grew increasingly exhausted. Over time, his sense of hope eroded, and he felt stuck.

The conversation turned to that quote from Mother Teresa, popular in ministry circles, that were called not necessarily to be successful, but to be faithful. Aaron said something like, I remember learning that in seminary, and have seen it referenced many times since. But theres an unspoken part of it, which is that if youre faithful, youll be successful. You cant be in it for the success, however you define it. But it will come if you do it right. Its like were all captive to this unspoken equation: so long as you have enough hope and do your best, things will work out. And its a lie. Its just a lie.

Yes, it is.

Its a lie thats rampant in American Christianityindeed, in American culture:

We can do anything if we put our minds to it.

If you believe hard enough, things will work out just as you hope.

Input ABC, output XYZ.

Reality is much more complicated. We can do everything right and things still may not turn out as wed like. Aaron named a harsh truth: many of us grind it out, clinging to the myth of inexorable progress and calling that hope, but its anything but.

That kind of hope falls short when things are bleakwhich is when we need hope the most.

How do we cultivate hope to face each day, even when our efforts dont bear fruit? How do people like Aaron and the community he serves find the energy to persevere, knowing that their efforts may not end in triumph but in a slow decline into an eventual closure? For that matter, how do we pursue the work of justice, knowing that the task is too big for any of us?

This book is an attempt to address these questions and to write myself back into a sense of hope.

Its been a tumultuous few years for myself, my family, and the world. Though this is not a pandemic book, you will see COVID-19s hulking presence from time to time, as well as the looming specter of climate change, and the urgent work of confronting racial and economic injustice.

Also braided throughout these pages is our familys experience walking with our daughter through a debilitating depression that extended over a couple of years of high school. Where possible, I try to keep the focus on my experience; my daughters story is not mine to tell. Even when I may overshoot that boundary, be assured that Caroline has read every word and given approval to the words that appear here.

In writing this book, I found hope hiding in the nooks and crannies of my kids depression journey. But as youll discover, its also lurking in tattooed wisdom from a beloved childrens book and in Marvel movies; on the running trail and in a sweater full of holes. Notably, hope is present in the experience of marginalized communities and among people of color, whove found their way into a hope thats quite different from the one Ive coasted on for most of my life as a White woman of relative privilege.