Carol Orsborn - The Art of Resilience: One Hundred Paths to Wisdom and Strength in an Uncertain World

Stage I:

Stage II:

19. Rerun the Upset, Imagining Everyone
Involved to Be Four Years Old

Stage III:

Stage IV:

Stage V:

49. Spend Quality Time With Someone
Worse Off Than You

Stage VI:

Stage VII:

74. Trust the Impulse to Pray More Than the
Prayer Itself

Stage VIII:A New Center

Stage IX:

Stage X:

100.

You cant always stop bad things from happening to you.
But remember, you cant stop the good things from happening to you,
eitheroften when youre least expecting them.

Life moves upward and lets the mistakes sink down behind it.

T HE I C HING

T hree thousand years ago, the ancient Chinese understood that every aspect of life is in a constant state of change. At any given moment, certain aspects of our lives are falling awayand certain aspects are birthing. So it is that we progress through our days, leaving behind qualities and aspects that no longer serve us and acquiring new depths of awareness about who we are becoming.

More often than not, pain is the catalyst that causes us to shed outmoded ways of being and to stumble with various combinations of grace and muttering onto the threshold of new passions. The ancient Chinese sought to master the art of resilience by accepting, rather than fearing, change as the way of the world. As we approach the turn of the millennium, we have access to the knowledge and wisdom of not only these ancient seekers, but of the mystics, philosophers, and scientists of virtually every era and culture. From Christian mystics to Hasidic rabbis, from Sufi masters to scientists, this book is inspired by these spiritually gifted individuals who teach us through many symbolic, philosophical, and even scientific symbols the core truth of universal faith: that there is a tendency for good to prevail. Call it Tao, Life Force, Great Spirit, Energy, or God. Or, as Nobel prize-winning chemist Ilya Prigogine postulated, call it the theory of dissipative structures. Utilizing the scientific method, Prigogine theorized that people, things, and events are involved in a continuous exchange of energy, impacting one another on an ongoing basis. When something disturbs or upsets the system, the components have the capacity to reorganize themselves into a higher order. The new order tends to move away from destructive propensities and toward actions and states representing a greater capability to protect the system from threats in the future.

We do not stand alone, rigid objects in a static world. Rather, we are part of the complex interplay of the entire energy field, both internal and external. Change any part of it, physical or metaphysical, and you impact the whole. This book is based on the premise that you have it within your power to effect a response that will bring forth from the things that happen to you the greatest good possible. This is not to say that there are not certain times when crises may overwhelm your ability to recover on your own. If you have a suspicion that this may be the case for you, I urge you to seek professional help. But understand that even this act, the recognition that you need assistance, sets in motion forces leading to recovery.

The summer that birthed the idea for this book gave me many opportunities to practice the art of resilience. In a short period of time, I faced challenges, pain, and disappointment in my career and personal relationships as well as physical well-being.

My initial response to my troubles echoed an incident that pastor Bruce Larson tells in his book Living Beyond Our Fears: Discovering Life When Youre Scared to Death. Bruce shares the story of an elderly friend of his, who had decided to invest all of his retirement money in the stock market. Then came the crash of October 1987. His friends entire life savings were wiped out in one fell swoop. Bruce called his friend and asked how he was doing.

Im sleeping like a baby, his friend replied.

I wake up every three or four hours and cry.

Ironically, crisis is not built into the fabric of the actual events our lives deliver to us. Rather, psychologists contend that crisis occurs when our theories about ourselves in relation to the outside world go fundamentally wrong, explains author Glenys Parry: It is as if your front door, one day, instead of opening when you turned the key, gave you an electric shock.