Loretta Laroche - 21 Days to Master Lightening Up Your Life

Loretta LaRoche, 2011

The moral rights of the author have been asserted.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted or otherwise be copied for public or private use, other than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews, without prior written permission of the publisher.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual wellbeing. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 978-1-84850-941-2 in Mobipocket format
ISBN 978-1-84850-942-9 in epub format

Publishers note

Research has shown that establishing a habit requires 21 days practice. Thats why Hay House has decided to adapt the work of some of its most prestigious authors into these short, 21-day courses, designed specifically to develop new mastery of subjects such as stressbusting.

21 Days to Master Lightening Up Your Life draws from Loretta LaRoches bestselling Life Is Short, Wear Your Party Pants (Hay House, 2003).

Other titles that will help you to explore further the concepts featured in the 21-day program are listed in at the end of this ebook.

Introduction

When I was growing up, one of my mothers favorite expressions was You never know. Wed have to clean the house every Saturday, because You never know. If we were in the midst of enjoying a wonderful meal, we had to make sure there were leftovers, because You never know. Small pieces of wax paper were saved, along with brown string and empty egg cartons, because well, you know.

I kept trying to understand what it was that we didnt know but needed to know. It was certainly enough to make a child anxious. Maybe my mother knew that something bad was going to happen and we had to get ready. I used to ask her, but she would always counter with, Someday youll see. See what? What was I going to see?

As an adult, I now have a much clearer understanding of what You never know meant to my mother and why she needed to say it so often. She and my grandparents lived through the Depression and World War II. They were the product of a world in which the economic present was bleak and the future was scary. As a result, my mothers ability to enjoy things fully was tinged with dread and guilt. For example, she had a wonderful set of hand-painted dishes that had been in the family since I was 14. My mother thought they were incredibly special. And why not? Shed bought them with her hard-earned money, something she pointed out over and over. They sat in the china closet, waiting for those special individuals my mother felt were deserving enough to eat off them. We, the village idiots, werent good enough to eat on these superior dishes under ordinary circumstances. Every once in a while shed remind me that she was leaving them to me. For a long time, I really relished the thought. One day, a couple of years ago, she asked, Do you want the dishes? I thought, You must be kidding My idea of dinnerware now is some plastic plates to eat takeout on.

But the thing that really pushed me over the edge was the underwear. She always bought me the most hideous underpants. She said that they were on sale and the clerk told her that they wouldnt wear out. Well, I dont know what the clerk thought I was going to be doingmaybe going into a mineshaft and not coming out for a month? Why did they have to be so sturdy? Why couldnt I just have the kind that were pretty and feminine, with little flowers and lace?

Well, my mother finally had a weak moment and bought me a pair. I was ecstatic until she said the usual: that I couldnt wear them often because You never know. She added that they were going to be my party pants. That didnt ease the pain. How many parties does a nine-year-old go to? Its not as if I were a movie star or something. So the pants stayed in the drawer surrounded by their ugly step-underpants. I probably got to wear them twice. I still have them; they just dont fit.

I dont think my mother was mean, and I dont think she really thought her family was unworthy of the good plates. She was simply living the life she was taught to live. We all inherit a point of view from our families and our societies that, for better or worse, creates who we are and what we believe. We often inherit concepts about life but dont really understand why.

Certainly, we need to save for the future, and not simply waste things or indulge ourselves with material goods we dont need. But we should never wait to celebrate life only on special occasions. And therein lies the message of this book: We need to bring a feeling of celebration into our lives every day. Its time to lighten up!

DAY 1

Say Yes To Stress

Today we are going to start by having a look at something thats often regarded as the bane of modern lifestress.

Ive spent 30 yearsa good part of my adult lifeas a coach and consultant, advising people on issues related to stress. Ive written books; Ive done PBS shows; and Im constantly on the road talking to large groups of people about how to manage their stress levels.

I thank heaven for stress every morning. I mean, if not for stress, Id be out of work! But do you know something interesting? You should thank heaven for stress every morning, too.

In all the years Ive been talking about stress, I keep hearing the same things from people: My life is so stressful I cant stand it! Im so stressed out I cant sleep or eat. Please help me get rid of my stress!

The first thing I want people to understand is this: Thank God you have stress in your life. You should be on your knees saying thank you to your stress every day. The only time youre ever going to have a life without stress is when youre dead. I think we should have a little mantra that we say to ourselves: Bless this stress; it helps me see that Im a mess!

What is it about our society thats made us think stress is such an enemy? Its all we talk about, isnt it? I dont know about you, but Im feeling stressed from listening to everyone talk about their stress! We act as if stress is a horrible by-product of our overwrought society; that stress is a disease that needs to be cured; that stress is something that needs to be eradicated from our lives in order for us to find a healthy and peaceful existence. But stress isnt something to try to disguise or eradicate.

Stress is a signal. When you recognize it, and work with it instead of against it, you can learn a lot about what you need to do to be happier and healthier. Stress is actually a blessing that can help you realize when you need to make changes in your life.

Notice the Signals

We should appreciate the fact that our bodies have a way of letting us know that we need to take action. We need to stop, think, and notice what our body is telling us when were feeling stressed out. Instead of simply getting swept up in the anger and tension that stress brings out in most people, wouldnt it be interesting to try to listen to the signals? Wouldnt it be helpful to notice when were acting in the irrational ways that stress can sometimes make us actand do something about it? Shouldnt we understand that stress is a symptom, not a cause?