Dave Earley - 14 Secrets to a Better Marriage: Powerful Principles from the Bible

To Cathy,
I fell in love with you the first time I saw you and have been in love with you ever since. Loving you just keeps getting better and better. Thanks for being my corresponding compliment, parenting partner, ministry colleague, soul mate, girlfriend, lover, and very best friend.

Y ou want to be happily married. You want to have the type of marriage that God will gladly bless.

You hope to love and be loved in a strong covenant that holds through tough times.

Of course you do. We all do.

And you can. But you need to go at it Gods way.

Let me make a couple of things clear right from the start.

First, even though Ive been fortunate enough to be married for thirty years and have read plenty of excellent books and articles on marriage, and even though I have a degree in counseling and have done my share of marriage counseling, I do not consider myself an expert on marriage. There is only one true expert, and thats God.

God designed marriage. And He created men and women. As the only eternal and everywhere-present (omnipresent) being, He has seen every marriage in history. And He alone fully understands marriage. With such an expert available, why search elsewhere?

Second, God has not kept His expertise to Himself. He has generously shared His knowledge with us in the Bible. This amazing book speaks with astounding clarity and incredible accuracy on dozens of subjects, including marriage.

Woven through the life lessons that grace the pages of the Bible are timeless, fundamental, proven principles that have served as the building blocks of successful marriages for thousands of years. I call them secrets because, in todays world, these principles are tragically overlooked and under-applied.

There are many fine books that emphasize one or two of these secrets and help us wisely apply them, but the secrets alone will not be as effective unless we start by understanding the underlying biblical principles.

This book distills what the Bible says about marriage into fourteen practical principles that are guaranteed to improve your marriage. Whether you are just starting out, are going through a rough patch in the middle, or are looking to finish strong, these fourteen secrets, if properly applied, will help you become a better marriage partner.

No matter where your marriage stands, from very good to awful, it can be improved. I suggest the following approach to make sure your marriage moves forward:

1. Read this book by yourself and prayerfully ask God to work these fourteen secrets into your life.

I suggest that you read it slowly, with a pen in hand, marking key ideas and making notes in the margins. Try to put into practice what you are learning. Ask God to help you apply what youve read.

2. Read this book with your mate or mate-to-be.

Read one chapter at a time, at most. Take turns reading it aloud. Stop after each section and discuss what you think, what you feel, and how you can apply what youve read.

3. Read this book as part of a small group.

Get with a group of other couples. Study one chapter at a time. Discuss how you are striving to live out these truths in real life. Pray for one another.

4. Reread this book annually, by yourself and with your mate.

I t was the middle of May, the sky was a brilliant blue, the sun was in full array, the birds were happily singing, and the hills were lush and green. I was standing in the sanctuary of a little red brick church at a wide place in the road charmingly named Sweet Valley, Pennsylvania. The room was filled with flowers, smiling faces, and beautiful music. My best friends were standing nervously on my left in black tuxedos; two smiling pastors flanked me on my right as my mom and dad sat in the front pew grinning up at me. All was goodbut it quickly got much better.

The organ burst forth in Wagners Bridal Chorus. Everyone rose to their feet and all eyes turned to the back of the church, where a distinguished, but anxious, man in a blue suit stood with a young lady in a white dress clinging eagerly to his arm. Wow! She was gorgeous. Her smile illuminated the room. Best of all, her eyes locked with mine and her smile got even bigger.