Karen Bluth - The Self-Compassionate Teen: Mindfulness and Compassion Skills to Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice

With record rates of stress and mental health issues in adolescents right now, this is the right book at the right time for the people who need it most.

Christopher Willard, PsyD , coauthor of The Breathing Book , and faculty at Harvard Medical School

Few things are harder than being a teenager these days, and perhaps the only thing more difficult (for those of us who are not) is how to speak in an engaging and meaningful way to teenagers. Karen Bluth does a remarkable job of sharing this crucial practice of self-compassion in language and through examples that are interesting, relatable, and compelling. This is a book that teens (and their parents) will find practical and powerful, and I have no doubt that it will ease a lot of suffering.

Steven D. Hickman, PsyD , clinical psychologist, and executive director of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

During these stressful times, teens in particular may feel caught up in confusion, uncertainty, and stress. Its all too easy to become overwhelmed by self-criticism and social comparison. The Self-Compassionate Teen lets you take control of your life, while building happiness, emotional strength, and more ease in your social world.

Mark Bertin, MD , developmental pediatrician, and author of How Children Thrive and Mindful Parenting for ADHD

Chock-full of useful information, potent case studies, and hands-on exercises and links, this book will be an invaluable resource for schools, parents, and anyone interested in learning how to approach life with deep compassion and care. It is especially ideal for people helping youth learn to healthfully navigate negative self-talk and feelings arising from negative self-comparison, difficult relationships, feeling different, or simply being an adolescent.

Janis Whitlock, PhD, MPH , research scientist at Cornell University, founder and director of the Self-Injury and Recovery Resources research program at Cornell University, and coauthor of Healing Self-Injury

Karen Bluth is one of the worlds leading experts on self-compassion for teens. This well-written book shows teens how to be kind to themselves in the midst of daily challenges such as school, body image, and social media. After switching from self-criticism to self-compassion for just one moment, youll probably be convinced. You might be giving yourself the biggest favor of your life.

Christopher Germer, PhD , faculty at Harvard Medical School, and cocreator of the Mindful Self-Compassion program

Most teensand most humansstruggle with fear, insecurity, self-doubt, anxiety, and depression for time to time; and some of us suffer with these experiences day in and day out. Regardless of whether you experience these feelings rarely or often, this book offers simple, practical skills for treating yourself with the kindness and support you would offer a good friend, which is to say the kindness and support you absolutely deserve. So, before your unkind mind starts with its yes, buts and starts telling you its usual lies about what a loser you are, open this book and begin. By reading this book and doing the practices, you will remember that you are lovable exactly as you are .

Amy Saltzman, MD , author of A Still Quiet Place for Teens

The Self-Compassionate Teen is more than just a book. Its the voice of your best friend, who sees who you truly areloving, wise, strong, and brave. Soon, you discover that this best friend has been a part of you all along. Soon, you learn how to be your own best friend, especially in those hard moments when you need a best friend the most. You can do it, and this book can show you the way.

Dzung X. Vo, MD , author of The Mindful Teen

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2020 by Karen Bluth Instant Help Books An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc. 5674 Shattuck Avenue Oakland, CA 94609 www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer

Edited by Teja Watson

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Bluth, Karen, author. | Neff, Kristin, author.

Title: The self-compassionate teen : mindfulness and self-compassion skills to help you conquer your critical inner voice / Karen Bluth, Kristin Neff.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, [2020] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020015695 (print) | LCCN 2020015696 (ebook) | ISBN 9781684035274 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781684035281 (pdf) | ISBN 9781684035298 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-esteem in adolescence--Juvenile literature. | Self-acceptance--Juvenile literature. | Compassion--Juvenile literature. | Mindfulness (Psychology)--Juvenile literature.

Classification: LCC BF724.3.S36 B58 2020 (print) | LCC BF724.3.S36 (ebook) | DDC 155.5/191--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020015695

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020015696

This book is dedicated to all teens everywhere. May your journey through the teen years be a little easier because of this book.

Contents

Acknowledgments

I am profoundly grateful for many who have helped bring this book to fruition. First, this book and so much of my work is built on the work of Chris Germer and Kristin Neff. Their Mindful Self-Compassion program for adults is the foundation for much of my work creating curricula for teens, including this bookmany of the exercises in this book have their origin in the Mindful Self-Compassion program. I would also like to thank Lorraine Hobbs, my co-developer of Making Friends with Yourself: A Mindful Self-Compassion Program for Teens; some of the exercises in this book come from that program. Steve Hickman, director of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, has also provided untold stewardship and guidance in steering the teen self-compassion ship. I have tremendous respect for his wisdom, unending patience, and his creative ability to think of out-of-the-box solutions.

Laura Prochnow Phillipsmy self-compassion co-teacher extraordinaire, with whom Ive taught more than forty self-compassion classesread multiple drafts of this book. Because Laura knows the nuances of practicing and teaching self-compassion, and has a great deal of experience teaching teens, her feedback has been invaluable. Syd West, a teenager who has taken our Making Friends with Yourself class, also read through early drafts of chapters and provided much-needed feedback from the perspective of a teen, as did another teen, Ben Kubica. Sanjana Shashikant Rao, a university student well-versed in self-compassion research, provided feedback on early drafts as well. Mackenzie Gill, my twenty-seven-year-old daughter, read through chapters and provided input that could only come from a daughter, such as Mom, dont say that! You sound like a boomer! Finally, Russell Toomey, an expert on LGBTQIA+ teen research and programs who also has experience with compassion interventions, provided important feedback on chapter 9.

I would also like to thank my editor Tesilya Hanauer at New Harbinger. Tesilya is more than an editor to meshes become a friend I trust, whose opinion matters to me, that I really enjoy spending time with. Ive learned that, when writing a book, its so important to have people who understand you and what youre trying to get across, in addition to knowing the craft of writing; these people can tell you not only whats going well with your writing, but more importantly, tell you what isnt going well, so that you can improve the book. Tesilya does this beautifully. I also appreciate the feedback from my editor Caleb Beckwith. Caleb always responded quickly to my questions in emails, provided specific suggestions on how to move forward with my writing, and helped me navigate the challenges and logistics involved with producing this kind of book.