Kim Fredrickson - Give Yourself a Break: Turning Your Inner Critic Into a Compassionate Friend

2015 by Kim Fredrickson, MS, MFT (MFT 22635) Roseville, CA

Published by Revell

a division of Baker Publishing Group

P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

www . revellbooks .com

Ebook edition created 2015

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

ISBN 978-1-4412-2336-4

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations labeled KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.

The author has used many of the exercises and self-soothing tools in this book in her counseling practice over the last thirty years. She had made every effort to give credit where credit is due.

Stories shared in this book are a composite of the many ways people are affected by not having compassion for themselves. No story is a direct reflection of a particular person.

This publication is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed. The author and publisher shall not be liable for your misuse of this material. The author and publisher do not guarantee that anyone following these techniques, suggestions, tips, ideas, or strategies will become successful. The author and publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects arising from the use or application of the information contained in this book.

Published in association with Books & Such Literary Agency.

Im so impressed with this book! The truth youll find here is going to transform your life. Give Yourself a Break offers insight into the ways we lack compassion for ourselves, how that impacts us, and how we can speak Gods truth and grace into our life. When we truly see ourselves the way God doeswith love and compassionit changes everything! But an even greater benefit of this book is that the more compassion we have for ourselves, the more we have to give away. And in the bigger picture of life, thats what its all about.

Barbara Wilson , bestselling author of Free: Finding Freedom and Healing from Your Past

We hear it every time we fly: If the oxygen masks drop, secure your own mask before helping others. It feels selfish, but if we dont take care of our own needs first, weve lost our ability to help others. Over the years, Kim Fredrickson has watched people value others while ignoring themselves, depleting their own reserves. In Give Yourself a Break she guides us back to healthy self-care as the foundation for impacting others. By helping us value ourselves the way God does, she hands us the oxygen mask. Grab itits an excellent guide for the journey.

Dr . Mike Bechtle , speaker , consultant , and author of People Cant Drive You Crazy If You Dont Give Them the Keys

Everyone needs to read this book! Kim clearly describes how to deal with the self-critic inside of us. I spent years in therapy learning the concepts in this book, which is what slowly healed my narcissistic injuries, thus healing my own narcissism. It is only when we learn how to be more loving toward ourselves that we can become more loving in our closest relationships. This then gives us the capacity to fulfill the commandment to love others as we love ourselves.

Lisa Charlebois , LCSW , psychotherapist and author of You Might Be a Narcissist If...

Its amazing to me that we are taught our whole lives to be nice to others but rarely are we taught to be nice to ourselves. In Give Yourself a Break Kim Fredrickson inspires and instructs us into a deeper and fuller way to be nice to ourselves. Be compassionate to yourself and get this book, and apply these truths to your life. It may just be the best thing you will ever do for yourself.

Chuck Wysong , pastor of Life Community Church

In this unique book, Kim Fredrickson integrates the powerful practice of self-compassion with Christian faith. Give Yourself a Break is filled with practical tools and stories of everyday people who successfully learned to treat themselves with care and compassion rather than self-criticism. This book is a must if you yearn to experience what recent studies have shownthe power of self-compassion to positively transform your life and your relationships.

Georgia Shaffer , PA , licensed psychologist and author of Avoiding the 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make

Sometimes the most destructive relationship we have is with our own self. We beat ourselves up without mercy and are endlessly critical of our sins, flaws, and failures. Give Yourself a Break addresses self-hatred and shame in a fresh way and challenges us with a grace-filled approach to seeing our inadequacies and sins.

Leslie Vernick , licensed counselor, coach, speaker, and author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship

This book is dedicated to my dear family and friends who have been supportive of my ministry to help others heal and reclaim their lives. I send special thanks to my clients over the last thirty years who have helped me to develop compassion and understanding through lifes difficulties and triumphs.

A special dedication goes to my dear friends Joany and Betty, who have walked through life with me for more than twenty years with unending support, compassion, and grace. You will both be forever in my heart.