Lillian Nowlin-Hunt - Living Divorced: The Diary of a Pastors Daughter-in-Law

Living Divorced

the diary of a pastors

daughter-in-law

Lillian Nowlin-Hunt

Trilogy Christian Publishers

TUSTIN, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Living Divorced

Copyright 2021 by Lillian Nowlin-Hunt

Trilogy Christian Publishers A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive Tustin, CA 92780

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible. Public domain.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

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Cover design by: Jeff Summers

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Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-63769-892-1

E-ISBN: 978-1-63769-893-8

Contents

Bonus Chapter364

Diary 1

Divorce

So I think I should just leave and divorce my husband. If I walk away now, I am sure I could find Mr. MarcTrain, and maybe he will take me back. The way he showed me and told me he loved me back then, if he has just a pea size of that love left, I have something to run back to. Yes. I know his mom loves me because she has already shown love to me and the family that has developed through this marriage, so it shouldnt be hard for me to drop everything and walk away.

I feel like this is whats expected of me. Like everyone is standing around waiting and becoming impatient, wondering when I am going to make this big move and run. Of course, after writing The Covering with the happily ever after ending, all of that has to be destroyed and ruined. What makes me so special that I deserve the right to keep the happy ending?

One thing that I have learned is some people truly do want to see you happy. However, they also want to put a limit on that happiness. Dont start living your life better than those that are rooting for you and arent genuine. Next thing you know, those that were for you become your worst enemies. You begin to realize what you thought you had in friends and family you really never had.

I wasnt anyones choice for KB in the first place. Seems like it was more people who were against us getting married than there were for us, so why keep it together? I am pretty sure someone is saying they could have done a better job at being a wife than I did. I know there are women waiting for me to move on to show KB the great woman they can be to him and satisfy all his needs. Maybe, just maybe, there really is someone else out there who is just like Dion who will meet the approval standards to be KBs wife.

Im done. Our marriage has stayed together this long, and thats an accomplishment, so I shouldnt feel bad about this at all. I feel so crowded and alone all at the same time. Alone because I cant think of anyone who can understand what I am going through right now who would want to be by my side to help me get through this. Yet I feel congested and crowded, almost to the point of actually being able to feel and smell the hard breathing on my neck of those that are impatiently wanting me to make a move.

No one else in my family has stayed in their marriage, so why am I trying to be the oddball out? My father divorced my mother, so I guess you could say I am following in his path. Not only did he divorce my mom, but he remarried immediatelybasically before the divorce was even completed, so who would care if Mr. MarcTrain swept me off my feet now? My brother got married, and now he is divorced tooshould have seen that coming, right? I cant forget my big sister, yep, married and divorced, so what am I waiting on? Clearly, these Nowlin offspring were not fit or made to remain married. Maybe that is why my baby sister hasnt married anyoneshe is smarter than us all. I know that my family would be there for me. I was there for them, so why wouldnt they be? As long as I have my family, I will be okay.

What would KBs family say? I dont think at this point it really matters. I would be tarnishing that Hunt name. I would be bringing shame into the family. I would be tearing down that perception of unity. Or I would be showing I wasnt raised like a Hunt, so I dont act like a Hunt. I would be proving that KB moved too fast and married me out of grief. KB didnt know me, and marrying me was the wrong thing to do. Marrying me was probably the worst thing KB has ever done in his life.

What would the church say? Should I really care, but just thinkingwhat would they say? I wonder if there would be anyone that is shocked, or would everyone just say, We knew it? There are so many divorced people in the church right now; what would be wrong with joining in with the rest of them? From bishops to prophetess and prophets to missionaries, evangelists, pastors, and elders, all levels of leadership have been divorced and still operate. Hey, many of them seem to be elevated when they divorce, so I guess I should look at this thought as a come up. Maybe I can use getting a divorce as a ministry to support other divorced people within the church. I can travel the world doing workshops and conferences on surviving a divorce in the church. If the church keeps pedophiles, adulterers, thieves, and liars around, surely they wont throw me away.

My brother on the job just got a divorce. Happily married to his wife for over twenty years, he began having an affair with a coworker who also happened to be married. Initially, I had no idea they were an item. I knew he was married because he had the picture of his wife and family on his desk. When we all went to lunch together, I just assumed she was going because she was a coworker and friend like me and nothing more. Talking about my book, The Covering, one day at lunch, I began to say how I had no respect for a woman that would entertain a married man. Imagine the silence that took place that day.

Once I found out there was more than just a work friendship going on, I refused to go to lunch as usual with them as if I was in agreement with what was going on. They were both married, for goodness sake. There was no way in the world I was going to sit silently as if I was okay with their behaviors. I was saddened to hear that he left his wife and children and said that he wanted to have some time to himself. This woman married with children of her own said she wanted them to be together, and it looked like that was what he wanted too.

Know this: I will never have any form of respect for a woman who knowingly and willingly engaged in a relationship with a married man. Say its a childhood scar if you want, but I call it just plain ole nasty!

Daily, I communicated with my bro, telling him he was doing the wrong thing and that he needed to remain with his family. After a while of working on him and giving him scripture and praying with him, he decided to try God and attempt to put his family back together. I always wondered if it was because he realized it was cheaper to keep her, or he really did want his family back together again. He began going to church and wanted to fight for his family. His wife, by this time, was done with him and wanted nothing but to get away from him and get half of every dime he had. No matter what he did to try to keep his family together, his wife was more determined to keep them apart.